I am in my 30's and still I hear my mother, my dad, my brother and others over the years. Their voices became my thoughts. Everything I do, drive, drop something, amd 2 mintues late, was grumpy, anything I do that is not perfect is wrong. I have my own family and I have taken over critiszing myself. How do I just STOP. When I try to argue with the thoughts 'NO! I am doing good' I know what my dad would have said next and I can't win... just like when I was a kid.. I am wrong. How do I relax and stop cristising myself?
-I used to be on medications for anxiety, but since I have started mediating I have been able to go off of them
-and no I don't 'hear' voices
-and three, they are much worse now that I am pregnanct and hormonal and tired. Scratch that. exhausted...
2007-02-21 15:27:43 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Whenever you are criticizing yourself, there is something you are forgetting to add onto the end of what you're saying to yourself...
for example, just say you forgot to do something so the first thought into your head was "that was stupid" or "you are SO stupid!"....whatever it is that you just said to yourself that was negative, add on:
"that is SO unlike me!"
So it ends up being, "That was stupid, that is SO unlike me!"
Keep working on adding that to whatever you say when you are talking to yourself, unless of course you are saying something NICE to yourself at the time! But most of us say negative things to ourselves.
The books and tapes by Shad Helmstetter are good, if they are still available...they are older, so check http://half.com for them. One book was called What To Say When You Talk To Yourself.
Good luck!
2007-02-21 15:38:58 · answer #1 · answered by darligraphy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello there. I can definitely relate to this. I've met a few others in life who can too. Something I found really powerful and works though I have not used it enough is to say positive things to myself. It is easy. Like this.
*You are going to succeed.
*You can do it.
Just simple positive confessions. However if someone else were to say the same to me it would not have the same effect. I am not on medication though I attempted that route but did not stick with it. I think what you may have is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Others have posted about PTSD on here.
Reading the Bible helps me the most. And pray before you read. Also praise and worship music by a group call the Vine Yard has helped allot. They have a serious called Touching the Father's Heart. There are over 20 C.D.'s in that series. One that impacted my life the most was #19 Everlasting Grace. Also #17 and # 18 are also great.
Books by Doctor James Dobson might help too and listening to his radio broadcast from Colorado Springs. It's called Focus on the Family. One of his books that comes to mind is called Hide or Seek.
Okay,
Take Care,
God Bless.
2007-02-21 23:51:27 · answer #2 · answered by Paul 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pregnancy can make you crazy. Meditation does help, and sometimes it helps if you put things down in writing. (Writing out the negative thoughts and then put the reasons why it's wrong.)
Maybe it would be a good idea to talk to someone professional to see if they have any other ways of combating this. You're doing the right thing arguing with the criticisms, best of luck to you.
2007-02-21 23:41:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mentioned your pregnant sweety these are our hormones it happens. If you are talking about before you got pregnant you just have to realize your not that kid that your parents used to critisize or your sibilings used to critisize your an adult now with your own family. Another way to do this is when you know your doing something right just tell yourself that and let yourself know that you are doing something right. For an example to help people feel better about themselves when they get out of the shower all they have to say is i look good today and you keep telling yourself that and you are going to take that hint that you actually do look good today. I hope this helps
2007-02-21 23:39:03 · answer #4 · answered by mommyandbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
check out eckhart tolle's new book. im not sure if i spelled his first name right, but he wrote the power of now. his new book is called the new earth. its pretty good, but it looks like it would help you in the long run. in goes into egos and how some people let them run their lives. for either better or worse. some egos like to be down, it is like fuel for it. all you have to do is just notice it and try to be present. there is not future there is not past, all there is now. heres a quote that has been in my mind, i think i made it up but someone probably said before... every second is a second chance. sounds good but this might sound better. every second is a first chance. i dont know i just found it odd that seconds are called seconds and not firsts. odd right. guess it didnt sound right sorry to get off topic but just had to air out the quote. check out the book. hope i have been of some help.
2007-02-21 23:37:26 · answer #5 · answered by Reganomics 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TELL YOURSELF THAT YOU WANT TO STOP; THEN, PRACTICING NOT DOING IT. WHEN A NEGATIVE THOUGHT COMES TO YOUR MIND, REBUKE IT. DO THIS AS MANY TIMES AS IS NECESSARY. STATISTICS SHOW THAT 21 CONSECUTIVE DAYS OF PRACTICE CAN MAKE OR BREAK A HABIT. I LIVE BY THIS; NOW YOU TRY IT. GOOD LUCK!
2007-02-21 23:59:31 · answer #6 · answered by serina y. m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think darli has a great answer
2007-02-22 01:09:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋