Here I am 34...single and very unhappy. I say that I am happy being single ..and dont want a monkey on my back. I feel bitter at the sight of a happy couple..and wish I too was a "couple" I havent dated in years and my last b/f was not a good experience and left me bitter and cold. And just plain unahppy with my life and every aspect of it. Things and people in my life bother and irritate me where I feel I should be on nerve pills! Does anyone else feel like this and giving me advice as to what I can do.
2007-02-21 15:12:26 · 13 answers · asked by blondie34 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I'm close to your age and close to your situation. I can understand how you feel and I can tell you what my problem was. I was too focused on myself. I was too worried about what I didn't have to appreciate the things that I did. I was jealous of other people's happiness because I could not find any of my own.
I realized that I wasn't bitter at those couples, I was just sad that I didn't have someone to be a 'couple' with. And I started thinking...those people have been lonely before too. You see them out in public and they're happy and having a good time, but maybe their last three realtionships were horrible disasters and this is finally their chance to be happy...and mine will come one day too.
Everyone goes through some **** to find the right person. Very few people just fall magically, movie-like in love. Everyone struggles, everyone feels pain. Don't harbor negative feelings for those who have found their happiness. Concentrate on finding your own. Join a personals site and go on some dates. You might not find what you're looking for right away, but at least you'll be trying.
If you want to be with someone, you have to make yourself available, you have to let down your guard. You can't control what people do to you, only your own reaction to it. If you let your past experiences keep you from trying to find something better, you're cheating yourself. And telling yourself you don't want something better is lying to yourself.
So get out there and take some chances. Happiness doesn't come knocking on your door. Make some changes and see what happens...
=)
2007-02-21 15:33:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 33 and married, and I TOTALLY understand your feelings. Except for the part about being bitter against other couples, I pretty much feel the same.
My advice is to maybe try meditation or yoga as a centering, calming experience. Try to focus on what makes you happy....books, movies, hobbies, pets...art...whatever you find relaxing and enjoyable. You could even start a journal and let out all of the hostility you feel each day. Once you are happy with yourself and your situation, you will be more at peace with the rest of your life and maybe find yourself as the other half of a 'happy couple'. You can't be happy with anything else until your happy with yourself.
If you can think of nothing else, try a therapist or a friend..anyone who can listen and give sound, objective advice. It sucks to be mad all the time. Trust me, I was there for almost ten years, and it's a rotten place to be. Best wishes.
2007-02-21 23:30:43 · answer #2 · answered by Teel H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are happy being single, then why do you feel bitter when you see couples? Maybe it´s time to rethink this. You probably don´t want a relationship like the last one you had, but it´s normal to wanna have a connection with someone, to love and feel loved, to share things, etc.
You should try talking to a therapist, who can help you figure out what it is that you are feeling unhappy about and how to move on. There are ways, trust me, but first you need to know the cause. Good luck.
2007-02-21 23:22:50 · answer #3 · answered by No se 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing to do is to find out what is really causing you to be unhappy. Write what is causing you to be unhappy on paper. For example, if jealousy is causing you to be unhappy, write it down. Next, make a choice to be happy. Get up every morning and say, "I chose to be happy no matter what." There may be many times when you don't feel like saying this but say it anyway. After this, get rid of things that make you miserable. These things may be tangible or intangible. If certain movies, television programs, books, or songs make you miserable, get rid of them. Learn to be happy with yourself. NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU
HAPPY! There is no one on this earth who is better than you! Also, get with people who are happy, positive people. Stay away from people who are negative because they can bring you down. Sing happy songs when you don't feel like singing. Dance when you do not feel like dancing. Help people who are in need. Buy a soda or lunch for your co-worker. Surprise your parents or siblings with a gift out of the blue. I believe if you implement these things, you are on the road to happiness.
2007-02-22 00:08:01 · answer #4 · answered by s h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go out more often maybe you dont have alot of friends go to social gatherings maybe to a friends house a mary kay party or just to have a couple of drinks with your co workers after work your still young and medication is not your solution loosen up your to uptight its not the end of the world your prince is waiting for you but how is he gonna find you if your not looking good luck to you
2007-02-21 23:20:13 · answer #5 · answered by Angie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel exactly the same way sometimes. Fortunately it's not all the time. I would just suggest thinking as positive as you can and appreciating the little things. Maybe once you get in a groove everything will start to get better.
2007-02-21 23:17:14 · answer #6 · answered by the Boss 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me too but I'm happy. Dying alone is glorious. I get to save more money than having a family. I live with my mom so my income helps keep her miles away from welfare. For religious purposes I want to die a virgin and with my extra money I could go and help homeless people. Perhaps your a female and want to be a mother?
2007-02-21 23:19:26 · answer #7 · answered by krumpmaster terrell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go out with some friends. Go to the mall or join clubs. Keep active and soon enough, you'll meet someone you'll be interested in. There are lots of guys out there in your position and looking too so just keep yourself active! Good luck! =]
2007-02-21 23:15:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, most women are emotionally devastated after dating a man with a small penis. I recommend to you that you put some happiness back into your life.
2007-02-22 00:43:10 · answer #9 · answered by Sir 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love will come when you least expect it, it is true! When you start smiling your attitude will change and so will you. Have you notice that when you are happy everyone wants to be with you? Give it a try. Love will come
2007-02-21 23:17:29 · answer #10 · answered by sand 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋