Would you be mad if this happend to you?

Question

One of my good friends who is Mormon asked me to be a best man in his wedding. I was very happy to be asked, but then I found out I cant even get into the church to watch the ceremony because I am not Mormon. Would you be mad if this happend to you?

Answer 1

The sealing ceremony is restricted to Mormons only, but many couples also have a formal reception or "open house" which is open to non-Mormons.

While you won't be able to attend the actual ceremony, the best man has many responsibilities during the reception which you would be able to fulfill... it all comes down to how offended you are about not being able to attend the ceremony.

My advice would be to thank your friend for the honor of being considered for the best man position, no matter if you decide to accept the offer or not. It shows that he considers you a very close friend if he asked you to be his best man.

Personally, I would respect his religious beliefs and accept the fact that my being excluded from the sealing ceremony isn't a personal slight - and I would do the traditional best man "duties" at the public portion of the event. With that said, if being excluded from the actual ceremony really bothers you, then it would be best to decline.

Answer 2

It sounds like your friend will be getting married inside one of the Temples, which only allow members of the LDS church in good standing inside. You have to realize, in the Mormon faith, a best man and maid of honor don't have the traditional roles they do in most weddings. However, depending on how they do it, you will play a role in the reception--which (if it's in Utah) will probably be that evening. You'll stand next to the groom in the photos, probably offer a toast (with some non-alcoholic drink), and help the groom with whatever he needs you to. You won't be responsible for signing the marriage certificate and being an official "witness." I wouldn't be angry, I would be honored that he wanted you--and if his family is like most Mormon families, he may be getting some flack for his choice here. Talk to your friend, find out what exactly he's expecting of you, and take it from there. Life is too short though to be angry at a friend.

Answer 3

i am surprised that the groom obviously of this religious group would ask you this knowing full well this is a religious standard for this group. although i find it hard to understand what i to me is religious elitism people seem to segregate them selves when it seems that God s principals in many religions should make us feel love toward each other might not provide that environment in segregation many religions and philosophy's there of teach that there is no seperation between God and man so why should man feel some are more richous than otheres but here is the other side of the coin the older i get the less reasons i try to find to get mad getting mad at a religous orginization that shuts out others puts them in a self defeating situation at least that is how i see it i also find that being angry or even too disipointed is also a self defeating way to spend our energy i just read that kabalists
beleive everything is for the best in the end i hope you can find a way to celibrate your friends holy union and take part in it some way and not miss out on an oppertunity to bless and celibrate in some other way i realise now that every day and every experience which is what we get when we didnt get what we wanted is a gift oh how lucky we are to live and breath in this wonderful day never mind getting angry about too much that isnt
a great great great injustice

Answer 4

Of course I wouldn't be mad. I'm guessing you are pretty good friends, since he asked you to be his best man. So, you probably knew he was Mormon, and I'm guessing you respect him for who he is, even if you don't agree with his beliefs. This is just part of his beliefs. It's pretty cool he asked you to be his best man. The temple ceremony is just quick anyway, and the status of best man is more of just saying it and it being represented to the people, which will still be done at the reception, because in the temple no one stands out except the couple. If he's really your friend I'd support him.

My wife isn't Mormon and was a bridesmaid for a Mormon girl. She thinks Mormons are wacky, but still went and hung outside of the temple for her friend to come out. That's what friends do. If you're really questioning it, then you're probably not as good as a friend as he thinks you are. Good luck with the decision.

Answer 5

No, because that is how the Mormons work within their religion. If your friend is getting married in the Temple, that is correct you can NOT attend unless you are Mormon and have a Temple recommends. If they are getting married in the Meeting house then you CAN attend. Your duties as best man will happen at the reception, there should be a ring exchange ceremony at the reception and of course the best man speech.

Actually it shows your friend is very forward thinking to ask someone who isn't Mormon to be his best man. In fact it is a compliment.

Answer 6

If it were me, indeed I would be upset, however, remember this sect is really weird in the way they do things. For example, did you know that in order for a Mormon woman to qualify to go to heaven she has to be married? Also, my S/O was a professional photographer and was asked to photograph a Mormon wedding but was NOT allowed inside the church to record the actual wedding because he was not Mormon! What a crock of skitah!

Let your friend know that you really appreciate his asking you to be the best man but you need to decline his offer due to his religious preference.

Answer 7

I would explain to him that I am not a Mormon and see where it goes from there.I wouldn't get upset because you can't fault someone that doesn't know.So take a couple of deep breaths and talk to him about it.You don't have to like the religion but you do have to respect it.But i wouldn't change my religion if asked ,just to attend a wedding.

Answer 8

Yes, I would be very upset. Sounds like your friend wants you by his side, but his religion won't allow it. Have you sat down and talked to your friend to see why he asked. I never heard of a wedding where people from diff religions can't go or even be in it. If I was your friend I would be mad and find a way to have my family and friends all there. Try not to be mad at your friend, it's not like he can do anything about it. Unless he gos out of his way to do so. But then if I was you I would feel selfish, it is his day, not yours.

Answer 9

I don't think he should have asked you if you can't take part in the ceremony. But the good thing is, is that he asked you. You are still being a part of the celebration in his marriage with his wife! Look on the bright side of this.....he asked you to be his best man.

Answer 10

I am very familiar with the mormon society, alot of my friends happen to be. I think that you should feel honored that he chose to ask you over anyone else. What if he had chosen someone else to be his best man just because they could be there to see. Would you not feel more hurt then? he wanted you to have that title of "best man", i think you should feel honored he asked you and realize I'm sure if he could help it he would have you right there beside him. Except there is nothing he can do to change religious beliefs. I'm sorry though it is a pretty crappy situation.