I know this has been asked 2039120398203 times, but once more won't hurt ;)
Winner gets 10 points of course!
2007-02-21 14:55:06 · 12 answers · asked by 2 days after my B day :) 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
kind of stupid ones but funny at the same time.
-did you know that diarea is hereditary.......? ....It runs in your jeans..lol
-you say to someone ...do you know what sucks? they answer what?....a vacum cleaner
2007-02-21 14:59:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 2⤋
Once there were three men who were sent to hell because a farmer shot them for trying to steal his fruit.So the Devil made a fruit farm appear and told the men to go pick any 10 fruit from the garden and he will tell them their punishment afterwords. So the men go and pick fruits.
The first man came back with ten cherries.The Devil said " If you can shove all those cherries up your butt without making a face, you will be sent back to Earth.But if you make a face you will spend an eternity here pushing cherries up your butt."
So the man started shoving cherries up his up.He didn't make a face. He told the man to go wait somewhere until the two men come back for he saw another coming with grapes.He told the second man the same exact thing as he told the first one only with grapes. The man started.1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9....
Here he burts out laughing. The devil told him to wait with the other man untill the last guy came.
The first man asked the second why he started laughing when he was so close to finishing.The second man pointed at the devil.The man look at the devil and saw him smiling gleefully. Past the devil he saw the third man....
Carrying Pineapples....
2007-02-21 23:34:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Qualifying for Heaven
Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.
St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it."
The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate.
St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't *really* need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?"
Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie. "1,228," he answered.
"That's right! You may enter."
St. Peter turned to the lawyer. "Name them."
2007-02-22 06:45:56 · answer #3 · answered by daniel a 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was the talk of the town when an 85 year old man married a 18 year old girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow saying "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?" He answered " You've got to keep that old motor running." The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said "You really are amazing. How do you do it?" He again said "You've got to keep the old motor running." The same thing happened the next year. The nurse said "You must be quite a man." He responded "You've got to keep that old motor running." The nurse then said, "Well, you had better change the oil. This one is black."
2007-02-22 00:25:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
why is six afraid of seven?
because 7 8 9
how come three cant hear two?
because 3 is def
2007-02-21 23:42:44 · answer #5 · answered by phatso 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Four nuns died simultaneously in a car crash and arrived at the pearly gates. St. Peter asked the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?"
"Yes, father," she replied, "I once touched a man's penis with the very tip of my finger." "Swish that offending finger in holy water," St. Peter instructed, "say a prayer begging forgiveness, and cross over into the promised land."
The second nun said, "Yes, father, I once touched a man's penis with my whole hand." St. Peter instructed this second offending girl to douse her entire hand in the holy water, say two prayers begging mercy, and proceed to heaven.
As nun #3 approached, nun #4 shoved her aside, "Father," she shouted, "if you expect me to gargle with that water AFTER she dunks her heiny in there, you've got another think coming!"
2007-02-21 23:05:42 · answer #6 · answered by codiane99 4 · 6⤊ 2⤋
Pinnochio is upset because whenever he has sex, his girlfriend gets splinters. Gapetto notices that Pinnochio is upset and asks him what his problem is. Pinnochio tells him. Gapetto thinks about this for a moment and comes up with a solution. He gives Pinnochio some sandpaper. The next time Gapetto sees Pinnochio he asks him how its going with his girlfriend.
"Girlfriend? Who needs a girlfriend?" replies Pinnochio.
2007-02-21 23:03:37 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Now im not racist but i thought this was pretty funny, it can be used for all races...
Q:What's the difference between a pothole and a black person?
A:You'd swerve to avoid a pothole, wouldn't you?
2007-02-21 23:33:11 · answer #8 · answered by Matt 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
The chicken & the egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smiling & smoking a cigarette, but the egg is upset. She mutters to herself, "Well, I guess we answered that question."
or
What do you say to a hitchhiker with one leg?
"Hop In!!"
2007-02-21 23:15:24 · answer #9 · answered by MuZzZ 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
natural jokes are funnier than the ussual jokes...
2007-02-21 23:29:43 · answer #10 · answered by maria 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋