what do you do when you are the only one trying to save your relationship ,and its hard to let go?

Question

What i mean by that is you have been with this person for a good little while and instead of letting the the relationship fall apart you want to save it but the other person does not and you know it but by you loving this person its hard to let go.what should i do?

Answer 1

Hi, I know what you're going through and honestly, I'm giving you this advice as much as I am giving it to myself.

1. Know and accept that there is a reason for everything, even when you don't understand or believe it could be differently than what you had planned for.
2. Fill the gap in your life with friends, church or synagogue, prayer, or even meditation and relaxation. Try to find peace and balance in your life.
3. Write him/her a letter. Tell them everything you always wanted to say to them. Do with the letter what you think is right. Mail it, Burn it, make it into a paper airplane.. just let those feelings OUT.
4. Concentrate (hard as it may be) on the down side of the relationship. Their quirky snoring, their constant bickering, etc. Sooner than later you will realize that the person you're pining over wasn't so perfect after all...
5. Take a journal and write down all your memories of that person inside it. Then hide it away so that your fresh wounds can heal, knowing you've taken steps to preserve special moments in your life.. with or without that person being there for you.
6. Call your Mom or Sister, or someone close to you.. and have a sobfest. Moms and sisters always seem to be right on track with your pain.
7. Fill your day (usual time you would spend together) with NEW things... take up bike riding, judo, reading Hebrew.. just LEARN something new
8. Give yourself a hug. Be patient. Remember, getting over it takes just as long as getting into it. :)

Hope this helps you
Keep in Touch if you Want To...

HUGGGGGGGGGGGG

Answer 2

I know exactly how you felt i was in that situation. As painful as this sounds and really not easy to do your going have to let them go. You cant save what the other person just as equally wants to give up. thye have been honest on thery'e feelings and if you keep trying they are going to hate you and eventually it will end just wrose because of everything that you would been going threw. It hurts alot worse draging something out that just giving it a quick yank. I know what i'm saying really doesnt help since you love this person vey much and it will eb very hard to let go but for you own heart sweetie just let go be alot les painful in the end even though it might not seem that way at first.

Answer 3

The first question I had to ask myself was "what is it that I am getting out of this? Why do I want to be with someone who doesn't or is not capable of being in this relationship? Next is what am I so afraid of? Being alone? Not thinking/feeling I am good enough and deserve better? Good questions to ask yourself. It is tough letting go. But don't settle. Look inside you and know that you deserve better....and if you don't feel you do, then make those changes about yourself so that you do feel like you deserve better. Good things will come if our hands our open up...but not if they are closed tight holding on to things that don't belong. Best of luck.

Answer 4

I feel for you all...

Love hurts doesn't it?
For those who have been in it will know love not only brings joy, but also pain... if we were willing to fall in love at the beginning, then expect the pain at the end... but hey, it doesn't mean that the world is all over, it doesn't mean this world will stop turning...

You need to say and ask everything you have in your mind and in your heart to him and be prepared to accept what ever answers he may give you.

I know it's hard for you girl, but these are the emotions in life... and it kills to love someone and knowing that they don't love you in return, but do appreciate that the love grew in you...

you know what is the greatest gift we can give?
it's our hearts...
you know what is the hardest thing we can ever do?
letting the one we love go...
and you know what makes us a better person?
accepting and appreciating all these emotions and learning each and every single one of them.

you are going through a phase and no, no one can lift you up, we can only cheer you, be there on the side line, it is you who have to get up and walk that road...

stay strong girl and all the best.

Answer 5

Let it go, the worst thing is trying to keep someone who does not want to be kept!! You will just be making it harder for yourself, sometimes we have to let the people that we love go to make room for other people, or maybe sometimes we grow a part and then come back to that person if it is meant!! Give this time, but if he wants to go, let him!! It'll hurt even more knowing that he is there (your "boyfriend") and has no feelings for you the way that you would like him to.

Answer 6

Girl, sometimes... it is better to just let thing fall how they must.... I was in a relationship for four years... and I just had to let go. It was the best thing for me... even though it was hard.

things will get better... do not worry at all.
He might come back after a few months, but by then, you might be a different person. Just breath.

Answer 7

Unfortunately, let go. Perhaps he is reluctant to save the relationship because he doesn't know how he'll feel when you're gone, in which case you must go, and see how he reacts.

Second case is he's just not that into you, in which case you deserve better. In either case, you must let go for now. If it's meant to be in the end, then it will work out.

Answer 8

You have already done all that you can do! Love that is not returned will not be so hard to let go when you learn to love yourself, and what you have to offer to the right person that will return and nurture that love. Dump this loser, and recognize the difference between loving, and mothering.

Answer 9

Been there. You cannot make someone love you or care about you the way you love or care about them. Period. If they don't want to work at it, then it's not going to work out. Relationships take effort, and in order to put the effort in to it, you have to WANT to put the effort into it. If he doesn't want to, then you can't really force him to, and why would you want to?
You deserve someone who will work things out because he thinks you're worth it and wants to be with you. Tell him you love him and you're sorry to see him go.....but let him go.
Maybe after some space he'll change his mind, maybe he won't.
But for now, you have to honor his decision.

Answer 10

C'mon Quinn........you know that you can't save a relationship that's over and you sure as hell can't make someone love you. It takes two people working together to make any relationship work.
I know it's hard but give it up, pick yourself up and start again....you CAN do it! If ya need help, I will help ya. Stop wasting your life and start living it. Big HUG to ya!!!!