She is nice, but my husband and I are busy busy and we live out of town. She had the baby 3 weeks ago. I am a little torn on what to do? Should I urge my husband to go? When is the definate amount of time that we SHOULD go. Help??
2007-02-21 14:51:35 · 14 answers · asked by LJ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'd send a gift with a nice little letter. Tell her you are happy with the new arrival and you are thinking of her and you plan on visiting sometime in the near future.
You have become an Aunt besides, and you should honor this title. You don't have to drop everything and there is no rules engraved in stone of when to visit. However; sometimes people that are too busy don't take appropriate time to address the most meaningful things in life.
It is okay to be busy, but, it's more important to be Fruitful. Loyalty, respect, Family, and many other things that are often put behind worldly endeavors many people end up regretting down the road. It's not much different than the song "Cats in the Cradle".
Just use good judgement and apply sound discernment, and not only will you save face and preserve it, but, you will keep the doors wide open for extended family.
Besides, you never know,......you may become a significant role model or important as an Aunt. Do unto your Sister-in-Law the way you would like to be treated, just don't put too much pressure that if you don't show up in "x" amount of time, that you will somehow lose your integrity as a Sister-In-Law and as an Aunt.
2007-02-21 15:32:56 · answer #1 · answered by The Sylvan Wizard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say 3 weeks is the limit to go with no contact. I'd call her and say you knew she would be overwhelmed at first and are wondering if she's feeling up to a visit soon. That lets her decide when and keeps you from showing up when she hasn't been able to shower in 3 days and is still wearing the pajamas the baby spit up on at 2 am. :)
On the other hand, if you're not close, you don't like babies, your husband has no desire to go see his sister's child, and living out of town is more than 30 miles away; call her and tell her you'll wait for the next family gathering to admire the toothless wonder.
2007-02-21 23:05:43 · answer #2 · answered by Robin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not! There isn't really a given time frame when to or when not to go for a visit. I suggest you give the new family a chance to become familiar with the new addition. Also, a new mother wants time alone with her baby and immediate family members, i.e., father and siblings if any. Mom is already going through a very trying time termed "post-partem" blues and probably just wants to be left alone for a few days. After a few weeks, give the new family a call and ask if they're ready for outside company. When you go for the visit, be sure to take a gift for the new baby and something for the mother if you haven't already done so!
2007-02-21 23:11:00 · answer #3 · answered by lilbit48vmb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is rude at all. You can still send her a card or some flowers. She needs that time to bond with her new baby and she also needs the rest too. You can also call her to see how she is doing, she may just ask you guys to come over. Then you will know.
If when you two decide to visit her, call her first to make sure it is okay with them. Then go visit. Plan a head before visiting. That's the right thing to do.
2007-02-21 23:09:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on how close of a family you are... If close then to much time has passed and it would be hurtful, it however you are kinda close then you should be ok, IF you sent a card or called within the first 3 days or so...... If you have not then I strongley suggest you do so now, along with a small gift, and make time to go see the baby with in the next couple of wks with an even nicer and more personal baby gift..... God bless
2007-02-21 23:05:19 · answer #5 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you at least called and/or sent flowers or a gift for the baby. If you truely do not have time to see her and the baby immediately, then she probably will understand. But she won't understand why you can't pick up the phone and call for a few minutes.
2007-02-21 22:57:33 · answer #6 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 weeks ago... oh thats bad. its not rude, just insulting.
think of it this way, when your preggers that long, looking foward to it, then the baby finally comes...
you would be insulted if they did that to you.
anyone would be.everyone is busy in today world, but everyone takes the time for new babys.
just mend fences (make a nice meal, buy a gift [ok two or three], buy a card/gift certificate), and go visit. NBD.
2007-02-21 23:33:52 · answer #7 · answered by Yvette B yvetteb 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should have been at the hospital the day the child was born. Having a baby is a milestone in anyone's life, nothing in your busy life could be as important as meeting your new little family member.
2007-02-21 23:41:29 · answer #8 · answered by Your Mom 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Depends on how close you live.
Have you called or sent anything?
Reverse the role.......if it were you having a baby...
would you be hurt....or bothered by the lack of contact.
I would think twice about right now and think about the
impact this could have.......not saying it could....however there
is always that if.
The weekend is close...why not go this weekend...
bearing smiles and cooo's...:O)(again depending on how close you live)
Best wishes and Congrats on becoming a Aunt and Uncle.
2007-02-21 23:28:00 · answer #9 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation. My husband went alone about a month later and we sent a gift at the time of the birth. Sometimes, life just doesn't allow you time to do what you "should" do.
2007-02-22 00:04:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋