My parents are wonderful, don't get me wrong. But growing up my mother (who is stick thin) was constantly harping on my sister and I about our weight. My sister had bulemia and I'm not the thinnest girl around. I had two girls and I just try to tell them how beautiful they are. My oldest is a little chunky, but I never say anything to her about it because I know how it made me feel. But did you ever say to yourself, "There is no way I am going to do that with my child."
2007-02-21 14:31:49 · 21 answers · asked by Melissa R 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
My mom stopped caring for us when she got a job I was 11 years old never had a lunch to bring to school or money to buy lunch, no breakfast eitherwe had to fend for ourselves. Plus she went to bingo every nite after work, one nite i had a concert at my school and she told me she couldn't go because she had bingo it hurt so bad that bingo was more important to her then me. My dad however drove straight from work and caught the last 15 minutes of my concert which made me feel so happy because he always had to work to pay the bills.
I am always there for my boys and I will never miss a game they play at their sports ever, they are my world and I will never ignore them.
2007-02-21 14:41:12 · answer #1 · answered by cutiepie81289 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
theres a few things that WILL not do to my daughter. First, I was in the same situation as you about the weight thing, except I got it from my step father. Growing up with him wasn't fun. He was an alcoholic who lost his temper the second things didn't go his way. He never hit us or anything but he verbally abused all my sisters, my mother and me. My mom stayed with him for some reason. They are still together now, but he has cut back on his drinking and is a much more pleasant person (I can forgive, but never forget his behavour in the past, and my kids will not be left at my moms house with out me) although he still has a tantrum occasionally.
Also, I will put my child into sports and recreational things to keep them from "hanging around". Yes, kids will hang around with their friends but they also need to know that there is life outside of boys (I have a daughter). I want my child to grow up confident (my stepfather took my confidence away) and independant!
2007-02-22 09:01:07 · answer #2 · answered by Newmomofone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents were great and now at age 35 I can admit that. The one thing about them though is they both had very powerful demanding jobs and my father as a result was not around much because of it. usually he was off in Europe somewhere and it wasn't until I was 34 that I found out what he really did for a living until I was 13 yrs of age {and boy was I shocked but it explained alot about his actions and things he'd tell us}. And I don't have very many memories of him as a child. So the only thing I am doing different with my daughter who will be 14 next month and my son who just turned 9months is I'm always there for them.
2007-02-21 23:28:01 · answer #3 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents were overly protective. This led to me being a bit of a wild child for a little while when I finally got some freedom. My parents didnt give me freedom I just went out and pretty much did whatever I wanted and ignored them yelling at me whenever I came home. I never even wanted to go home because I knew as soon as I walked in the door they would be yelling and lecturing at me. They eventually started laying off when they saw that they were wasting their breath and I guess I grew out of it. We have a great relationship now but I'm never gonna harp on my kid the way they harped on me. It led to a lot of arguments, a lot of tears, and a lot of lost time.
2007-02-21 22:40:03 · answer #4 · answered by Amanda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately children don't come with instruction books, manuals and we all say or do things like our parents they were our role models. There are a lot of things I did and do different with my kids who are now 20,17,14 and 12. We talk about everything I could never do that with my parents. My kids have learnt that I find out things anyway (as other people and their friends tell me) so they may as well tell me what's going on in their life and we have a great relationship. Another thing is we have always told our kids they are special each in their own way we never compare them with anyone else something both our parents did. And we are super positive with our kids we say and do positive things. I always tell my girls and their friends they are exactly as they were made to be and that's just super.
2007-02-21 22:46:23 · answer #5 · answered by ang_23el 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 things.
I don't ever recall my parents saying to me or my sisters "I love you". I tell my kids every day that I love them and they say it back.
My parents treated us very differently. The two youngest got everything they wanted where me and my older sister had to buy whatever we wanted. We paid for our own weddings, our own cars, down payments on houses, didn't have an option of going to college, whereas the younger two got all that from them and still continue to. They are both pregnant and my parents have bought all kinds of stuff for them. It has been tough to think about and I always say to my husband " We will never be like that with our kids".
I try to treat my kids the same. I do not do for one that I don't do for the other. They will remember and it is tough to feel that one was favored over another.
2007-02-21 22:44:51 · answer #6 · answered by dj_jonesd 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My parents (mostly dad) did drugs and was an alcoholic which led to endless bad parenting choices. I learned so many "what not to do's" from them. It was strange but as curiousity grew for my peers to try drugs, it didnt really spark an interest for me. My parents fought constantly and both had low esteem. They put themselves before thier children and taught me to never be a selfish parent. Having immature parents helped me to become independent early on and showed me that everyone weighs happiness/success differently. The best thing I can try to do differently as a parent is to be supportive and loving towards my spouse and children and always put them first even if I dont always agree with thier choices.
2007-02-22 16:44:02 · answer #7 · answered by jessBcuz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh boy, everything my mother did i said that. right in her face. and really i will be different. i didn't like the way my mother parented, i always thought it was because she was too young to be a parent (i don't have room to talk i'm only a year older than she was when she had me) but i won't do the things she did. like she got mad at me (yes i did something very very wrong) and wouldn't let me go to my graduation. my own high school graduation. i didn't talk to her for a long long time after that. and because of the way i felt when that happened, i will never EVER do that to my son no matter what he does. i will think of something else to do to him. (and that was only one example there are many more.)
2007-02-21 22:37:38 · answer #8 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad was awesome (of course I was his 5th and last kid). My mom on the other hand, well I am her only child. The thing that I swore to do different is not hit or spank, either by hand or by belt, my children out of anger. My mom had very little patience when I was growing up. Unfortunately, I've inherited her temper and have slipped and spanked my oldest with my hand. But I have always apologized and hugged her when I do. I hope I never progress to the level of hitting my mom did when I was younger.
2007-02-21 22:38:28 · answer #9 · answered by canderson85635 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have a 4 year old, and I catch myself saying things that remind me of my parents. It scares me. I didn't have a "happy" childhood, and I want things different for my child. The biggest thing, and I haven't done it yet, is that common phrase "because I said so, that's why". I try hard to explain things to my daughter, but I know there will be a day when that sentence comes out of my mouth. That used to frustrate me to no end!
2007-02-21 22:36:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋