It pains me to be around people I don't know really really really well. I don't know how to talk to other people, I expect that they won't like me, and feel very nervous in any kind of social gathering. I would like to have friends, but am not good at making them at all.
2007-02-21 13:56:59 · 9 answers · asked by ME 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
You most likely have a social anxiety. Take some quiet time to look at you, as if you were someone else. Be honest, not critical. List good points, positive aspects, successes, accomplishments, etc. See that you have value, are interesting, are worthy. What other people think of you is not really important. What is important is what YOU think of you. Are you a good person? Do you live your life from a good moral and ethical view point? If yes, then you will most likely be accepted and liked.
I find that people like to be asked about themselves, ask some questions; what do you do for a living, what are your hobbies, what book have you read lately? Not prying questions, but ones that will give you something to talk about. Listen carefully. Then you can ask more questions; about their job and what they enjoy about it, what brought them to their favorite hobby, what books they usually read or their favorite author and why?
You may find that you have something in common with this person and strike up a friendship from that. Be friendly, just like you'd like to be treated. Smile. Have a sense of humor. People who are serious, never smile, never laugh are not fun to be around.
Gain confidence in yourself. Love yourself for who you are. This will assist you in interaction with others. If you can't love yourself no one else will.
2007-02-21 14:37:12 · answer #1 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 33⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how old you are or whether you HAVE to be around people. Are you a loner, and do you keep to yourself? You sound like you WOULD like friends, but the idea of MAKING them seems so hard for you.
Are there any volunteer positions you could get interested in? How about cooking meals for the homeless, or visiting children or older adults in hospitals, or working in a thrift shop sponsored by a church or other organization? If you do any of these things, you would be going to these places to work and volunteer your time and do something nice like that.
And, then, by being at these places, you would be running into people who would be there and doing the same things that you were doing. There would be no pressure about "making friends," but maybe there would be moments to say, "Hi" or to talk about the weather or some safe topic like that.
Pretty soon you might get to chatting with these people, and if you volunteer at the same places often enough, you might be running into the same people over and over. Presto! Before you know it, you'll be surrounded by "acquaintances," and who knows, some of them might turn into "friends."
Just take it slow and easy and don't pressure yourself. Good luck!
2007-02-21 14:13:48 · answer #2 · answered by The Author 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The problem I see is that the people around you are perhaps not your good friends.
It is good that you are trying to open your surrounding for something new, but I don't see politicians(very socialable people) much happier than someone who trust only a select few people.
As you grow older, you will realize if someone wants to be your friends, it doesn't matter if you are mentally challenged or if you are not social compable in large crowds.
If you have money, you will have million friends, but do you want to make friends with all of these shameless individuals? I rather be "sad" and "antisocial" wth just a few very trustworthy people and my family, than be babysitting a bunch of leaches.
Best Regards
2007-02-21 14:05:20 · answer #3 · answered by andy f 2 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Make an effort to show a real interest in each person you meet. Ask questions about their likes, their dislikes, their hobbies, sports, their family, what they do for a living. Most people like to talk about themselves. Just don't get too personal. Trust me. They'll love you.
2007-02-21 14:08:50 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
One book that has worked for me is "People Skills" by Robert Bolton, PH.d.
This describes practical skills that help you communicate more effectively with other people. If you can learn these skill and consequently maintain a consciousness of the communication process, you will gain confidence.
I'd practice these skill first with less threatening environments and then build up to more complex environments. You should be able to check out this book from your local library.
Good luck. Practice make perfect...
2007-02-21 14:07:26 · answer #5 · answered by Skeptic 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
i know what you mean, i have won this battle....just be yourself but at the same time be understanding of other peoples feelings and concerns......try smiling and speaking to people and just asking a question or two even if its a stupid one....you have to be comfortable with yourself first before you can interact successfully with others....try taking a class of your interest (i.e, dance, yoga, etc.) it will definately feel awkward in the beginning but if you wanna change this trait, the funny feelings will pass.....i know your struggles and whatever god you believe in pray to it and ask for guidance......good luck!!!
2007-02-21 14:16:40 · answer #6 · answered by mimi 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i) Force yourself to participate in social occasions - start from small family gatherings & reach out to the immediate neighbourhood, the institution where you work / study, reach out to others too.
ii) DO NOT worry about what people think about you; believe me, they don't have the time to worry about you because they are sufficiently engrossed with their own troubles.
2007-02-21 14:06:15 · answer #7 · answered by Sabya 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
HI,
Im am the complete opp of you so i should be able to help you. What i do is wait for eye contact and smile at people. If you smile at them first, its a good chance that they will smile at you back and might even start talking to you first. Then you just reply to them or make a comment about what they said and go from there. They then might introduce you to their friends.
Remember it all starts with a smile.
2007-02-21 14:31:41 · answer #8 · answered by tiana75 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
don't worry. you can join activities or clubs that interest you and you can meet people like you. get to know others, whether you start off slowly, just saying hi or bye or have a good day. you will build up your relationship with others and people will know who you are. good luck! remember it's never too late to start being friendly with others.
2007-02-21 14:03:50 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Senior@Carrick♥ 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋