Why do I have so much trouble getting dates?

Question

I am 21 years old and have never had a date. I have asked out many girls but all of them have turned me down. I wonder if part of the problem is that I am a decent guy, who wants a relationship and not just to get into a girls pants. I have several female friends but they all say the same thing that I am a wonderful guy and I will find her eventually, but I have been searching the past 8 years with no luck whatsoever. It may seem like they don't want to date me because I am unsure of myself which may seem true but I did not start out that way. Over two dozen "Nos" is what turned me somewhat depressed when it comes to dating. I think it could be that I am not that attractive. I think I look good, I'm not an Abacrombie and Fitch model by any means but I don't think I am hideously ugly. Here is a picture of me, obviously I am the guy. (the girl is my cousin and I am not from Arkansas)
http://s169.photobucket.com/albums/u211/actorboy89119/?action=view¤t=10-9-2006-08-1.jpg

I don't go after shallow girls. I know for a fact that the preppy cheerleaders are not my tpe. I normally go after normal wholesome girls. Because realisticlly I need a little geek in my girl.

Answer 1

What type of girls are you asking out? Do they seem out of your league? Confidence and character have a lot to do with if a person wants to be with you. Also, chemistry and attractiveness come into play. You are not ugly, but to be honest the glasses look a bit on the "nerdy" side and I would change them to one that accentuates your features more...dark rims...square shaped...more intellectual look..or refined? I don't know..or try wearing contacts. I don't really care for the hair too much either. I like a guy who has more of a shorter hair cut and styled more...It all depends on the girl though. Having a sense of humor and having a good time is equally important as good looks, but if there is no attraction there..it's kind of hard. Ask your friends to be honest and help you out. Find clothes that fit you well and show your personality. Once you get your confidence level up with a change then you can get any girl you want! Looks are not everything, but how people view you and first impressions are a killer. You have to attract them first and then blow them away with your killer personality. Don't give up!

Answer 2

You sound a lot like me. For the longest time I never really dated. I was so shy that I really never even asked any girls out. But trust me, it WILL happen for you as long as you don't give up.

If you look around for dating advice, even right here on Yahoo Answers, you will find that probably the number one thing women respond to is confidence.

If a man can give off an aura of confidence, he goes a long ways towards getting her to say yes. At the same time, if the man is very unsure, the girl is likely to say no. It has very little to do with YOU and almost everything to do with your PRESENTATION.

So my advice to you, if you want to start getting some dates, is to work on your confidence. This can be a hard thing to do, though, especially if you are shy like I am.

The best thing you can do for yourself is exercise. Excercise is probably the best thing you can do for yourself to boost your self-esteem and your confidence. People who exercise regularly feel better about themselves, it's a proven fact. Plus, you have the extra bonus of just being that much more physically attractive. Girls will notice this, and YOU will notice it also, which will give you that confidence you need.

The type of exercise you do depends on you. If you're overweight, jog. If you're under-muscled, lift weight. If you hate exercise, just try walking everywhere you go. If you already do that, walk more. Find something that works for you and try to get an extra 30 minutes of physical activity per day.

Work on your delivery. If you have a girl in mind, figure out how you want to approach her and what you want to say. Rehearse it even, enough to where you don't have to think about how you're going to ask her out when the time comes.

Depending on the girl, figure out a specific type of date, preferrably one that is "safe". For example, if a girl enjoys jazz, ask her if she wants to go watch some jazz at a coffee shop on such-and-such day. Appealing to a girl's specific interests shows that you've been paying attention and also shows that you have similar interests - both very good.

Switch up your style. Buy some new clothes. Be sure you're dressed well when you ask a girl out. Make sure your shoes are clean (women have a tendency to notice shoes). If you have a car, keep it clean. Try a different hairstyle. If you wear contacts, try some stylish glasses. If you wear glasses, get some contacts. Variety can help you boost your confidence and may also help girls you already know see you in a different light.

Be prepared for rejection. Like anything, practice makes perfect. You will probably get rejected a few more times. That's OK... sometimes a girl just isn't into you. Hey, that's life. Keep asking and you'll find one that is, trust me.

Answer 3

Perhaps you are being a little picky (it's a good thing, actually) but you will eventually find someone. Perhaps try some of the dating sites and list what you're looking for in a woman and read other girls' profiles to see if you're what they're looking for. Then why not contact each other and see where things go from there. You obviously seem like a nice guy and deserve a nice girl who will treat you right. Just be patient. Someone will come along.

Answer 4

OK...Here it is straight. Listen it will happen for you but you gotta get off this wants a relationship thing. You will end up falling in "love" with the first girl who lets you have "it" and she will treat you like ****. Just date girls as they come, some may be for a week some for a year. You need to get experience dating whoever you can. If you have several chick friends you should be comfortable talking to girls....just talk to them about the same **** you talk to your friends about. Don't worry about the 12 no's.....the guys who get the most chicks are the ones who ask out the most chicks. Who cares how many NO's you get when you get 1 yes.

Listen to Tom Leykis at blowmeuptom.com he will take it from there. There is a book about "the game".....I can't remember what the title is but you don't need to want to be a"player" to learn some stuff that will help you meet women. But search on that i think it will come up.

Good luck

Answer 5

Maybe it's not you. Maybe it's the type of girl you go after. Try picking a female that isn't shallow.