I have found that my boyfriend talks to his ex girlfriend...?

Question

I mean not often at all...its rare that they do talk and he doesnt try to conceal the fact that they speak every once in a while...but it still BOTHERS me...I mean everything i have seen (Texts) have been very innocent...and im posative (well almost posative) that he isnt interested in her at all..and yet i still cannot stand it..im not insecure with our relationship or anything but what do u guys think..should I be worried?...oh by the way i know for a fact that she is still interested in him...

also every time i bring it up and get mad at him for it...he gets mad at me for not trusting him..i do trust him i just dont trust her

Answer 1

Dont listen to the girl that says if you have a problem with this then you're not ready for the relationship, because that is not true. I have been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for over 4 years and I still feel that way about his ex's.

First of all, you just need to talk to him about this. Let him know that its not that you dont trust him, but its that you dont trust her. I'm sure, or almost positive he'll try and convince you that even if she is interested in him, he would never try anything with her or let her do anything with him. Just nicely let him know that you are very uncomfortable with this, and if it hurts you to read text messages from her, let him know that too. But dont bluntly say "You cant talk to your ex" because he will rebel against you and do it anyway. Because no guy likes to be told what to do (girls either for that matter) But if you say what I just said, then he will stop. If he doesnt stop, he doesnt care about your feelings. That sounds mean. But its true. My boyfriend and i have an agreement that we can talk to our ex's UNLESS they show signs of affection towards us or if we just know they still like us. Then, we put a stop to the contact with the ex. You and your boyfriend should do that.

I really hope this helps!
<3 Ashley

Oh and also! If he doesnt want to stop talking to her, or if he makes a big deal about it everytime you say something, then it means he is still into her. I promise, girl. Just take my advice. just DONT get mad at him when you talk to him about it. K? and if he still gets mad, then let him go .

Answer 2

Alot of people stay friends after they break up,there's nothing wrong with it as long as that's all it is.And since you say that his part in it seems to be innocent and he doesn't hide the fact from you that they talk to each other.Then I wouldn't worry about it,until you have something to worry about.The true test will be if she wants more from him than friendship And he stops talking to her completely,then you will know that's all he wanted and he's committed to you,then you have a good boyfriend.Alot of times people see their exs with someone new,they realize they might still have feelings for them,but if the feeling is not mutual then they tend to move on.Just watch the situation and you'll know if you need to worry about it.Let him know you trust him,and he will not feel the need to keep anything from you.

Answer 3

Don't worry. Definitely not, for two reasons. One: If he still liked her, he'd still be with her. If he doesn't give an excuse, he most likely doesnt need one. Don't act like you're clinging, but keep him close, just in case. Two: If you show insecurity, he won't be happy with you, or the relationship between the two of you, because he will immediately think that you don't trust him with the girls in his past. It's completely normal to feel like he is being taken away, but most chances he hasn't moved at all.

Answer 4

Listen to me......I am very good friends with my ex. We talk, and when I am in a relationship, i always tell them that he and i are still friends. If me and my bf are out somewhere, and i see my ex.....he usually comes up and talks to both of us and i do the same with him and his gf.
There is absolutely NOTHING going on between us.
I will assure u, that because your bf is not trying to hide the fact, u can just about count on it, that it is simply a friendship and they are friends only.
If he was trying to hide it, then u may have reason to worry. But me and my ex have been split for 6 years and we still communicate to this day.
However, if she was making it apparent that she wished to be with him again, or was hinting around flirting the idea of rekindling the relationship, then u would definately have reason to worry. But, it is his responsibility to set her straight. Give him time to do that if she makes an advance toward him. Most importantly, make him feel comfortable telling u if she does. Keep telling urself this "If he wanted to be with her, he would be and he wouldnt be with me". Deep breath everytime u wanna say something about it. lol

If u make an issue about it, he will resent it because he has been open with u. He will feel like u r being a ranting jealous gf, and not tell u things he thinks u may flip about.
Be calm, and trust him until he gives u reason not to. So far, he hasnt given u reason not to trust him. Just be with him and let it ride.
Good luck hun.

Answer 5

If he is open and honest, trust him. It might just be a sign that he is in relationships for more than fun if he still follows up with ex's once he finds out they don't work as a couple. I mean, don't you hope that he cares about you for a better reason than just that you are his friend. I still talk to several of ex friends, yet I feel nothing for any of them, I simply see no reason to be rude to them, since they are still very nice people.

Answer 6

I can't believe these responses. You cannot 'put a stop' to your boyfriend's choice of friends. You are asking for trouble if you try. He doesn't conceal it brcause he thinks there is no reason to. And there IS no reason to! There is nothing going on and you shoud be sure enough of him to know that there never will be. Don't worry - in time she will drift away but you really don't want it to be your doing, do you?

Answer 7

Tell him how you feel in light of the fact that she is still interested in him. You could also talk to her, tell her you don't appreciate her interest in him and she should take her business elsewhere. Keep your cool, if you communicate effectively you should be able to resolve the matter amicably. All the best.

Answer 8

Women can be really mean, really nasty, really crooked and really under-handed.

Watch her closely because if she is still interested in him, then she will definitely try to rip him away from you.

Let him know that you are uncomfortable with him talking to her. Let him know that you are happy and secure, but you just feel *uneasy* when they talk because the ex is still interested. He needs to know how you feel.

And YOU Need to be on your toes. Stay on guard and watch him like a hawk when he is on the phone with the b*tch, and when he gets texts messages.

If you get the chance to get ahold of his phone before he does, then erase all his text messages from her so he doesn't get them!

If she calls and leaves a message on the phone, erase them before he can listen to them.

The less contact they make with each other, the safer your relationship is!

Good Luck

Answer 9

well, if u know that she is interested in him then u need to speak with him and ask him to please stop speaking with her. don't fight about this, thats what she would like. instead try to make him see that u feel disrespected and if he values ur relationship at all , he will take it into consideration. and he doenst respect how u feel then , let him go because in a relationship there has to be respect!! again dont fight just have a conversation.

Answer 10

well, i dont think u should be TO worried. I mean if it starts getting serious then mabey u should start talkin to him, and asking him y he is still talkin to her. Is this texting stuff really bad. Or is it just like a "hi" "wats up" kinda thing cuz if it is. Then mabey it wont be that bad. BUT if he is saying "Hey Sexy" or "Love You" then yes defintally worry.