don't answer my question by refering to ma age. I'm 18yrs old. i had this guyfriend when i was in the 11th grade, I had a crush on him and so did he but he is a kinda shy guy who always hides his feelings. now i'm in college and we started dating about 2months ago. i know he really luvs me from his actions but he thinks i don't luv him. He also acts like he doesn't care bout me somethimes. He gets mad when i talk about my guyfriends. He thinks i refuse to do thinks with him cuz i'll rather do them with some other guy. He wants me to have sex with him and i want to but my concience keeps telling me to wait. I luv him so much and i don't want to loose him but i also don't want to loose ma virginity now. I want to be proud of ma self till i'm really ready to do it. What if he does have sex with me and leaves me? i would be so depressed. Please i need help. Do u think i should wait or do u think i should do it. I know every one else does it but thats not the reason y i want to do it.
2007-02-21 11:48:38 · 18 answers · asked by hope 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are a very smart and I have to give you a credit that. Not all girls actually think of the consequences but instead of acting upon by the pressure of the society and their boyfriends. As for him to be mad at you having the guy friends or talking about the guy friends, that's because he feels threatened, insecured, and uncomfortable by their relationships with you, eventhough it's just a friendship. Why?? Well, it's just the guy thing, most guys think that other guys want to be friends with their girlfriends is because her guy friends probably want to have sex with their girlfriends.
As for him wanting to have sex with you, that's his way of saying to the other guys that he is the first person who gets your virginity. To most guys, the girl's virginity is same as the diamond to most women. Furthermore, it is his way of saying that you're taken because he has deposited his deeds into you, it's like when you want to rent an apartment, you make the deposit to reserve that unit.
Same here, I don't like guys get too close or too friendly to my girlfriends. Why do I say that? It's because a man and a woman can very easily develope feeling for each other if they spend a lot of time together, eventhough they don't intend it to happen. That's why we often hear every excuses in the book, e.g "Oh, it's just happened, I don't mean it to happen but it did".
I don't want to tell you what to do, but if you are not ready, meaning to have sex, baby, family (if accidently happens), then wait until you're ready to handle the unexpected outcome such as pregnant, money for the baby..etc..
As for your guy friends, I would suggest you keep a certain distance from them, I mean you can still be friends with them but not too friendly or too close and attached to them. Otherwise, you current boyfriend or any of your future boyfriend if in case two of you should ever break up.
Don't listen to avatar "Iwantsome", he is a guy but you are a girl. He's the loser and you're not. He is too desperated that's why he made such a comment.
I hope I have helped in some ways.
Good luck!
2007-02-21 12:15:18 · answer #1 · answered by Infinite 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well i was in ur situation only that the dude loves me.I had sex with him and about 5 months later i told him i dint want to have sex again because the bible does not permitted it and i wanna become a christian. From since then we stoped. I guess what i am trying to say is that if he loves you he would waite even if you tell him no.That's how i know my dude loves me because he is waiting and he does not forces me to.Even when i am in heat and wanna do it he tells me no. So my advice is not to do it because Gonorrhea and syphilis sometimes has no signs till months after. Maybe you will be the unlucky one and get it. Just tell him wait.Make him know it will be hard.Try avoid being alone but still go out and have fun cause sex does not make a relationship. If he leaves you or cheats on u he does not love u. That just means hes not d one if he leaves and soon ur knight in shinning armor will come rescue you.pls mail me and tell me if i helped or not.
2007-02-21 20:01:04 · answer #2 · answered by empressbebet 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love isn't about sex. Sex is something that two people who are completely in love share with each other in order to be more intimate. It is not a bargaining chip. You should not have sex with him just because he is guilting you and you are afraid to lose him. If you have sex with him now, you will regret it in the morning and the relationship will not last. Then when you do meet Mr. Right you will regret not having waited for him. He should not get upset with you or make you feel like you have to have sex with him to "prove that you are interested in him and not some other guy". Take my word for it. Do NOT have sex with this man.
2007-02-21 19:59:24 · answer #3 · answered by ill-informed 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems that deep down inside you have already made your decision... i think you should wait... im 16 and still a virgin so im not looking at your age but i am considering your situation and you being in college... your reasons not to are very good reasons and you should stick by them because those are your values... i also think that 2 months is still not alot of time of beings together even if you knew him or had a crush on him earlier... there are other ways of expression your love and he should know that.. dont be fooled because he seems shy, he is still a guy and thinks with his other head... if he wants pleasure like that then there other ways such as oral sex or touching each other w/e... frankly i dont think that is your answer but you should def. keep your ground and not do it... you said it yourself you're not ready....
2007-02-21 19:56:47 · answer #4 · answered by sprtzgrl380 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure. why not.
u got nothing to lose. trust me. virginity is no big deal.
im 28 now, and im still a virgin. excuse me, LOSER virgin.
so please, if u dont want to be a loser unwanted person like me who had some chances in the past but turned it down due to morales, then do it now while u still can. screw the morales. forget virginity. it's overrated to begin with. screw around and have fun. something i shoulda done when i could, now, i have no choice but to resort to escorts. what else can i do right? im too old now.
all these other people are wrong! why wait?
and by the way, 18 is a perfectly good age to start havign sex. as a matter of fact u shoulda started a coupla years ago. i know i had a chance to do it when i was 15. i have nothing but regrets now. regrets. u listen to me. sleep with him. heck, if he breaks up with u, then u sleep with the next guy u meet. u will like it.
its fun. u think people scream in ecstasy like that cause it's not fun? im a loser. virgin at 28. u wanna be like me? screw the guy already.
2007-02-21 19:53:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Waiting is very important when you're trying to build a strong relationship and it's especially important for the girl to hold to her convictions. I'm 20 and I've been dating my girlfriend for just over a year and we've never had sex, and while I get a lot of social flack for this, I'm very glad that I've waiting, just as she is. It allows us to build a stronger emotional relationship with one another without letting the physical get in the way. You can have sex with anyone, but a strong relationship is much harder to get.
As a guy, his body is telling him to have sex in a much stronger way than your's is. To him, the concept of waiting may be a symbol of his love for you, but that doesn't mean you have to have sex to prove it to him. If he really loves you and he knows you love him, then he won't doubt that you not wanting to have sex is not your way of saying you don't love him. It just means you have your morals and really, guys enjoy that.
So short answer, no, I wouldn't have sex with him. Wait for as long as you can. I know you may love him and he you, but love isn't about sex, love is about that connection you feel when you're with him, and you don't have to have sex to keep that strong.
2007-02-21 19:57:13 · answer #6 · answered by Zac 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If hes not willing to wait for you then hes not worth your time. Real love waits till both partners are comfortable and ready.
2007-02-21 19:53:53 · answer #7 · answered by Simple Love 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if this guy really loves you, and i mean really loves you, then he will wait for you. and thats all there is to say....
so if you are not ready, then you should wait, cuz if you have mixed fillings about if he is going to leave you then its not the right time, and any guy should respect that decision, or they are not the one for you. so i think that you should wait....
2007-02-21 19:56:02 · answer #8 · answered by rachbuzz12 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think u should wait, coz love is not about sex, he has to accept ur ideas about waiting, and if he really loves, he will be patient, and wait, till U tell him u wanna do it, then it won't be HAVING SEX, it will be MAKING LOVE, and there is ahuge diffrence here, hope i helped
MiDo47!
2007-02-21 19:54:56 · answer #9 · answered by daizy_man88 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He'll most likely do you and dump you. Be prepared to be used if you sleep with men without being in a committed, monogamous, serious relationship.
2007-02-21 19:51:59 · answer #10 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋