I have been with my boyfriend for a while now and I have spent all of my time and nights with him. I have stayed with him through cheating once, and 2 relapses. I think the guilt of the cheating helped play a part in the relapse. The thing is he has a great heart, I know it doesn't sound like it, but he is. I don't know what to do. We are not together anymore, but why then do I want to be with him. I know I can't b/c I don't trust him, but I can't stop wanting to be with him. Which sounds crazy I know. What can I do?? Why do I want to be with him so bad. I know there are plenty of other guys out there, etc. But it's soo hard when you meet someone that you really love and have great times together. There will never be another him. Help!!
2007-02-21 11:27:33 · 12 answers · asked by pink 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanks to everyone who answered. The relapse was not cheating it was a AA relapse.
2007-02-21 11:42:10 · update #1
my guess is .. you're an insecure person who's afraid of change and despite his lapses in monogamy, you feel more secure with his cheating than you do in moving on with your life and these self induced fears you have of starting over... in part this may also be due to a lack of self esteem on your part which is not uncommon in young women who have been in serious relationships for several years with the same man and have come to believe only their opinions of you as ones that count
2007-02-21 11:30:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
And thank god there will never be anotherone like him. Why would you want a guy so cheats?? There really is no excuse for a person in a relationship to cheat. And if he has had relapses dump him.. all your doing is teaching him it's ok to cheat on you and you'll forgive him.
2007-02-21 19:32:28 · answer #2 · answered by angel48wings 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully, you're right - there'll never be another man in your life who cheats on you repeatedly. Because you're smart now and gained some experience and wisdom. Sounds to me like you're afraid of being alone. Been there, done that. Thought I'd die without him, didn't, and learned that no matter how much it hurts, you can live without him. Don't never let a man disrespect you like that again, because you deserve better than that. Don't be so afraid of being alone; it's not that bad and won't last that long. Good luck!
2007-02-21 19:36:05 · answer #3 · answered by telaine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
True, there will never be another one like him. I was married for 4 years and still miss her, but she cheated as well so that I don't miss. If someone cheats once they will do it again because they now know that they can get around it. Light of the story, no kids. Hit me back.
2007-02-21 19:32:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You took him back --more than once...You had hope. That hope didn't die when the relationship moved on. That hope still longs for something good to come of that relationship. It's really hard to let go of hope. But you don't need that old stale hope anymore. Let it go and begin building new hope for a new RIGHT relationship with someone new in which he values you, doesn't cheat on you, doesn't lie to you--on in which you can build trust together.
2007-02-21 19:37:02 · answer #5 · answered by CHos3n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most everybody feels like you at some time or another. Think about something else. Do something that will distract you from thinking of him. Don't try to go to the same old places. Change things up a little. The busier you are, the happier you wil be.
2007-02-21 19:34:22 · answer #6 · answered by Konswayla 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know it seems like that at the beginning but trust me ...once you start dating again or seeing other people it becomes much easier... On the other hand you could learn to trust your ex and consider the circumstances under which he did cheat...if you really love him and he loves you...i would learn to trust him.
2007-02-21 19:34:38 · answer #7 · answered by n1cyndy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's simple logic, or mind over matter. If you can't trust him, don't be with him, in time your heart WILL get over him, and there WILL be others. If you choose to follow your heart, expect sadness and hurt.
2007-02-21 19:32:24 · answer #8 · answered by Life after 45 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so could this guy be your sole mate? u have been through alot with him at your age u stil have time to sit back and see what happens now dont put up with anything u deserve better
2007-02-21 19:45:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't care for you they way that you do him
he cheatd on you
it all depends if he apologized and you knew that he was truely sorry I am old enough to answer your question(25)
2007-02-21 19:32:03 · answer #10 · answered by tisdale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋