How many light bulbs does it take to change a Christian?

Answer 1

I think you're dyslexic, but here goes:

Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air. Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.


Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb or tulip bulb. Churchwide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy. Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish: What's a light bulb

Answer 2

There is no light in darkness!! Therefore, it wouldn't be light bulbs trying to change the Christian, it would be darkness trying to turn off the (light of the world, which is the Christian). But that will NEVER happen to a born-again christian who would never want the darkness that covers the unsaved eyes to the light of the world. This is why Jesus called on us to be the light of the world to the dying, the unsaved. How many light bulbs (christians) will it take to witness to you The Truth which is in Christ Jesus?? That should be your question to yourself. When the lights go out towards the end of the Tribulation, it will be Jesus in His Glorious coming that will LIGHT up the world with all His Glory!!

Answer 3

How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?Five. One to change the bulb and four to bind the spirit of darkness in the room.How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?None. God has predestined when the lights will be on.How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?Only one because any more would be compromise and ecumenical standards of light would slip.How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?At least ten, as they need to hold a debate on whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb, they still may not change it to keep from alienating those who might use other forms of light.How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?None. They use candles.How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?Four. One to change the bulb. One to bless the elements. One to pour the sherry. And one to offer a toast to the old light bulb.How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?CHANGE ? How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?About 16,000,000. However, they are badly divided over whether changing the bulb is a fundamental need or not.How many Nazarenes does it take to change a light bulb?Six. One to replace the bulb while the others review the church lighting policy.How many United Church of Christ members does it take to change a light bulb?Eleven. One to change the light bulb. And ten more to organize a covered dish supper that will follow the changing of the bulb service.How many Lutherans does it take to change a light bulb?We read that we are to fear and love God and we cannot by our own effort or understanding comprehend the replacement of an electromagnetic photon source. It is, rather by faith, NOT by our efforts (effected toward the failed worldly incandescence), that we truly see, and that our own works cannot fully justify us in the presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Of course, it is still dark.How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?What's a light bulb?

Answer 4

Is that Yankee Christians or Southern Christians.?
The Yankee ones would converse about it.and argue about it.and tell everyone they they knew better how to do it, the southerner would simple change the Christian to a true Christian.and be done with it.as the Southerner sees the light.the Yankees see the light bulb.I am sure your a Yankee.A Southerner wouldnt come up with a weird question like that.I fell sorry for you. if I were You. a Yankee. I'd would do myself in as quickly as possible to avoid the pain of being a Yankee weirdo.

Answer 5

I think it takes some reprogramming and a few lightbulbs to go off in there head that a book is not the way.You can believe in God,I do,But dont be brainwashed by the people or the book.Let God talk to you inside and use a little common sense and dont follow the crowd

Answer 6

The light of the universe

Answer 7

One day I'll see the glorious light of Jesus in heaven.

Hell has no light bulbs,btw.

Answer 8

An impossible number, a true christian can not be changed, they are to strong in there faith to even consider being an aithiest

Answer 9

100. They'll sprinke holy water on the first one, and when you sprinkle water on a lightbulb, it explodes. The second one, you smash over their head. Same with the others. Convert them like they tried to convert us. With pain. (just kidding about all that btw.)

Answer 10

None. But how many watts did it take to illuminate your avatar? You look like you have a touch of yellow fever.