hot and cold signals from shy guy?

Question

i was recently talking to this guy for a month and a half now ..an things where really good between us.went on a couple of dates and kissed..problem is he is a shy guy ..round my friends he can talk but when with me he is jus quiet ..even when i call him ..conversation doesnt last long because i end up gettin nervous as well..we used to text each other on a daily basis but recently he has jus been givin me the cold shoulder and i dont know wats going on with him..and i really like him ....any advice about dealing with my shy guy people...

Answer 1

Be upfront and ask him how he feels about you. At least you'll know and not have to wonder. It seems that he may have lost interest... so to find out for sure, ask him Good luck!

Answer 2

Shyness is a very difficult thing to overcome. Some people are so shy that it's actually a measurable disease that can severely impact their lives.

It sounds like your guy is a little shy, but it also sounds like he suffers from being tongue-tied. Often times a less outgoing guy (or girl) will have a hard time keeping up their end of a conversation due to the excitement of being around their attraction. This happens to me still and I've been seeing the same girl for well over a year.

Also, if you talk a lot, he may have a hard time thinking of topics to discuss. Sometimes it can feel like you're talking about the same things over and over. Think of how your parents ask you "how was school today?". You're probably going to say the same thing you said yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that....

So to deal with the shyness, try to make sure he's comfortable. Respond positively to things that he says, and if he's not talkative, try to fill in the conversation by talking about something, that way he won't feel awkward. Try asking him about something he's interested in or passionate about to spur his end of the conversation. If all else fails, fill the silence by kissing him, that often works well.

If this doesn't seem to help, then you'll definitely need to ask him how he feels about you, and explain that it seems like he's distant. Do this carefully, though, or he might get defensive. Ask him if you talk too much, or if he doesn't find you interesting, things like that. Avoid coming right out and saying "you're giving me the cold shoulder", because if he's just really shy and nervous about pleasing you, this will really upset/hurt him.

Good luck!

Answer 3

That is what shy is, one foot on each side of the fence ready to flee the scene when they feel uncomfortable..... so may I suggest this, text the guy and ask him if he can or will meet you some place, like the mall, so as NOT to make him feel threatned in any way, and then buy him a coke or ice cream or what ever, then GENTLY ask him how he feels about you at this time ??? Try NOT to put to much preasure on him, be demanding or some such thing, just tell him how YOU feel and that you would realy like to hear what and how he is feeling about the 2 of you, as far as dating and such.......... God bless

Answer 4

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Answer 5

Nothing! He's just that way! Same with me! I have the same problem!

Answer 6

A good slap should sort him

Answer 7

thats my problem....but it doesn't mean nothing..just don't wanna talk too much....but we r cool...yeah we are cool

Answer 8

deal with your own shyness.

Answer 9

I use to be horribly shy. I guess when I joined the military, I sort of came out of it. I find that when you volunteer for places, you come out of your shyness as you help others. Here is a website I found with good insights that might help you. Don't be afraid to talk to others. Don't be afraid to smile and look them in the eye. You don't have to have a long drawn out conversation with someone, just a friendly hello, how are you doing, will get you started. It may lead to a freindship down the road. Remember, people who usually make fun of others is because they lack respect and they are usually jelous of that person for some reason. Don't pay them any attention. Just look at them in the eye and smile broadly and say "Good morning". then smile at the shocked look on their faces.
http://www.disability.vic.gov.au/dsonlin...
Friendship - how to make new friends

Friendships are an important part of life, but many of us find it difficult to find, make or keep friends. Life events, such as moving to another neighbourhood, starting a job or having a baby, can isolate us from our former support group and make forging new friendships more important than ever. In other cases, shyness or poor social skills can prevent us from taking the first step in forming a friendship. This article offers practical suggestions that may help you to expand your social circle or reinforce the relationships you already have.

Priming yourself for friendship
You may want friendship, but what kind of friend would you make? Factors to consider include:

Attitudes to others - we can drive potential friends away by demanding they share our attitudes, beliefs or behaviours. If you accept that other people have a right to be different from you, then you open yourself up to the possibility of experiencing relationships that bring a fresh perspective to your life.
Treatment of other people - think about how you like to be treated, then offer the same to the people in your life.
Don't expect instant results - good friends aren't made overnight. Sharing your deepest secrets in one night won't necessarily create a close friendship. It may even drive the other person away. Take it slowly. Divulge 'safe' secrets first, and allow the relationship to hold some weight before you share the meatier issues in your life.
Curb the urge to criticise - constantly griping about the failures and weaknesses of other people can make your listener feel wary of you. How do they know you aren't complaining about their flaws to other friends?
Don't gossip - potential friends aren't going to trust you if you constantly gossip to them about the trials and tribulations of other people in your life.
Don't compromise yourself - each one of us has standards of morality and behaviour. Don't allow yourself to compromise yourself for the sake of 'fitting in' with a group.
Places to meet friends
Suggestions include:
Many people make friends at work. Open yourself up to the possibilities by participating in social occasions, such as Friday night drinks or lunches to celebrate employee birthdays.
Follow your interests. For example, if you like walking, join a neighbourhood walking group.
If you don't work and have no particular hobbies, consider joining a volunteer group with a charity that interests you.
Use your existing network of family and friends to meet new people.
Don't turn down party invitations.
When making friends is difficult
Some people find it difficult to make friends. Perhaps they are shy, or feel they lack the social skills to start a conversation. Suggestions include:
Join groups that share your common interests. Talking about one of your passions, such as gardening or writing short stories, for example, can help give you confidence to talk about other things with potential new friends.
Watch and learn from gregarious people who make friends easily.
Practise looking people in the eye when you talk to them.
Listen to what others are saying, rather than focusing on your own self-consciousness.
Smile.
Look for anyone else in the room who seems socially awkward, and approach them for conversation.
When you talk to someone new, ask them questions about themselves or what they like to do; it's a good way to get started.
Social skills can be learned, so seek professional help if you feel you need it.
Keeping friendships
Suggestions include:
Appreciate your friends - don't take your friends for granted. Take the time to thank your friends for enhancing your life, in whichever way suits best - for example, inviting them over for dinner for no other reason than to have fun together.
Offer time and attention - friendships need to be nurtured. If you are consistently too busy to give time to your friends, they will one day move on without you. Ensure you make friendship an important priority. Actively listen to your friends, and show your interest and enthusiasm in their lives.
Be compassionate - people make mistakes. Sometimes, a friend may do something of which you don't approve. Put yourself in their shoes - would you want condemnation or forgiveness from those who are supposed to love and care for you?
Don't abuse trust - for example, if a friend tells you a secret, keep it to yourself. You might think you're building relationships with others by sharing gossip, but you're actually ensuring that others won't trust you enough to tell you anything. And if your friend finds out you abused their trust, your relationship with them is as good as over.
Control jealousy - you may want your best friend to be 'faithful' to you, which means you experience jealousy if they have other close relationships. Learn to appreciate that love for friends - like love for one's children - can be limitless.
Where to get help
Local councils (for information about local activities)
Local community centre or Neighbourhood House
Things to remember
Life events, such as moving to another neighbourhood, starting a job or having a baby, can isolate us from our former support group and make forging new friendships more important than ever.
Participate in work social functions, join a hobby group or volunteer for charity work.
Friendships need love, time, attention and trust if they are to survive.

Source(s):
http://www.disability.vic.gov.au/dsonlin...
Here is a relationships and communication article you might find helpful: http://www.disability.vic.gov.au/dsonlin...