Recently found out my Dad has Cancer.?

Question

I'm in my mid-20's and I just found out my father (mid-50's) has cancer. I don't know how to handle this situation. I have known people whom have had cancer, but that was either when I was very young or they were not relatives of me.

I feel like at my age, I should be able to handle this situation, but I don't know what to do. I'm scared. I've had a pit in my stomach for days. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, and I can't even tell him what's going on. I can't bring myself to do it. I also don't know how to talk about it. Do I tell my friends? my boss? my professors (i'm in grad school) So that they know, I will be dealing with some pretty serious issue and maybe absent or pre-occupied?

Right now, I want to go out with my boyfriend and tell him in person. But, I feel as though I should be spending time with my dad, even though I feel somewhat uncomfortable in his presences.

Is this a normal way to feel? Am i acting immature for my age?

Answer 1

you are going through what every one else (with the same thing) goes through. im sure you are not alone and you should pray for him.
i am (^_^)
hope this helped luv,
Yui

Answer 2

I know (a little bit) about what you're going through... I lost my mom to cancer when I was 6 and I just lost my great aunt in January (I'm 17 now...) to double lung cancer... so you're not alone. To help you remember that even more you should tell your boyfriend probably sooner than later. He may be able to help you through it a little better if he knows what is going on. Also tell your professors and boss, that way (God forbid) anything happens and you need to miss work or classes to be with your dad, you will have already explained and you'll have more time to spend with your dad. I cried like a baby when my aunt passed away so don't worry about seeming immature, just deal with it however it helps you. Coping with a loved one being diagnosed is a lot for someone to handle no matter what age they are. If it helps, talk to a relative about it since they'll already know what's going on. (If you're religious) Just pray for him and hope for the best. It does help to have faith ;) Hope this helped in any way...

Answer 3

No you are not acting immature. I was 22 when I found out my dad had cancer. My dad had just had his 50th b-day. My dad didn't make it to my 23rd b-day. I felt the same way you did. I wanted to tell friends, my boyfriend. But then again all I wanted to do was spend time with my dad. but like you I felt uncomfortable around him.


Don't make the same mistake I made. I did NOT as much time as I should have with my father. I have been kicking myself since the day my dad died. I was right near the hospital he was in and I didn't go see him. I assumed I had more time with him. this was about a year ago.


Now I have my grandpa (dad's dad) Who has had cancer for almost 4 years now. he has been on chemo for about 3 years but has never been able to complet a whole round of chemo. He ended up with phenomonia or his sugar levels dropped and they had to stop till he was better. Well the chemo isn't helping him any so I get to go through this same thing again.

Answer 4

First off you are perfectly normal and the emotions you are feeling are both sane and realistic. Last year my dad received the same information and when he told each of us kids (5 of us total) we each reacted a bit differently. But all of the feelings that you have described are natural and I went through them too. I was really lucky to have a great friend and family support group. Everyone I know prayed and sent well wishes. My father was able to go through surgery and although chemo and radiation were very hard, he survived. He was just given a clean bill of health last month!
First I would tell your boyfriend, I know it is scary to vocalize your fears, but you have to, and if he is a good bf he will be supportive. Tell a few friends and I would tell your teachers as well. This may end up affecting your grades.
Although it doesn't happen with everyone the outlook of surviving cancer with a strong support group and if it is caught early enough is pretty good. I can't say for sure as I don't know what type of cancer your father has, but even in the worst case scenario you will carry on. It may be hard to deal with all the emotions at first, but talk to family and friends. You are going through a form of grief right now. If you don't feel like you are getting enough support at home, find a counselor, possibly through the school they can refer you.
I will keep you in my prayers and if you just want someone to talk to who has been there, email me. God bless.

Answer 5

You're not acting immature at all. I am also in my mid-twenties with a father (mid-fifties) who has cancer. It has cleared one area of his body, and come back in a different location, three time. If there is one thing that I have learned in all of this it is that you cannot possibly predict how you are going to feel, and there is no right way to feel.

I would say tell people as needed, and as much as you feel comfortable telling them. There are certain times when I've had to tell a professor "My dad is ill", but didn't feel like going in depth. Other times I've laid the whole thing on the line, just depending on the situation. You should definitely tell your boyfriend as much as you can though. You are going to need support. There will be times when you literally feel like you're losing your mind, and he needs to know why.

Remember overall to just be there for your dad, and take care of yourself. Hang in there!

Answer 6

Go get some cesium chloride with rubidium. There is one with DMSO. Its on a nutrition website in 2000. I cannot say the website on yahoo answers. Um, also buy some oxygen drops. This kills cancer cells. And get IP6 pills. they are also vitamin pills that kill cancer. Stay away from beef, red beets, broccoli, and other things that contain iron. In the morning, eat some bran for breakfast. This takes the iron out of your system so that cancer has nothing to continue growing on. Eat a clove of garlic a day. Dont get the pills. They may have lost their cancer fighting power after being turned into a pill. Eat lots of green veggies. The more the better. Eat brown rice, not white rice, and eat some fish so that you keep off the iron. Good luck.

Answer 7

The situation of having a sick loved one, especially with something as serious as cancer is never easy at any age. You find it hard to tell your boy friend because that would acknowledge it, and would give the illness a life of it's own. You should confide in the friends that will be supportive and that can handle it. Keep you hopes up, there have been many advances in the treatment of many different forms of cancer. Cry and let it out before you see your dad. It will be hard enough as it is on him without the burden of feeling guilty because of the way it is affecting his family and loved ones. But tears are inevitable. My rayers go out to your dad, you and your family. Try to be strong.

Answer 8

i dont think you are being immature. It dosent matter how old you are. When you find out something like that especially about a close family member, it is really hard to hear. You should talk to someone about it maybe a sibling or your boyfriend cuz its better to let things out. If you cry its not a sign of immaturity. Its just a normal way to react. Being with your boyfriend isnt a bad thing just go out for a few hours and then spend some more time with your dad. Your teachers should know so if you get off track somehow they can understand whats going on with you and they will understand. I hope this helps.

Answer 9

What you are going through is normal. Don't give up yet, though--

Five hundred years ago, people said the world was flat. Today, people say that if the FDA and AMA haven't blessed something, it can't be real good. Well, here's something I know to be real AND good. It's a little different take on cancer treatment--

In 1990, I had Hodgkin's Lymphoma, stage 3-B, but I've survived. My doctors were great people, but they were limited to surgery, chemo and radiation by profitable AMA treatment policy. During the year in treatment, I started learning about alternative medicine. I'm a retired engineer, and this is what I've pieced together--our IMMUNE SYSTEMS become weakened by poor nutrition, lack of exercise and reduced oxygen. Once that happens, our body becomes vulnerable to common STRESSORS. Stressors can be environmental, like viruses, heavy metals, pesticides, food additives, electromagnetic waves or pollution. They can be internal things like emotional or job stress, or poisonous people in our lives. Aging is also a contributing factor. So this means:

WEAK IMMUNE SYSTEM + STRESSORS = DISEASE (cancer, diabetes, heart disease, etc.)

Our bodies have 60 trillion--yes, trillion--cells, and there are always some mutating into cancer cells, but a healthy immune system kills them before they have a chance to get a foothold in the body.

It takes a LONG time, usually, or a high level of stressors, to weaken the immune system to the point where it won't do its job, but once cancer has formed, it will generally spread rapidly.

THIS IS IMPORTANT! There are ways to BEAT cancer that are currently being used in Europe and around the world, and there are some great books on the subject. I know because I've read about 50 of them from cover to cover. Here's a list of the best ones. Some are out of print and getting hard to find--

"The Cure for All Cancers", ISBN 0963632825
"The Cure for All Advanced Cancers", ISBN 1890035165
"A Cancer Therapy", ISBN 0882681052
"Oxygen Therapies", ISBN 0962052701
"Hydrogen Peroxide--Medical Miracle", ISBN 1885236077
"The Natural Cure for Cancer--Germanium", ISBN 0533071410
"Killing Cancer", ISBN 0705000966
"Natural Cures 'They' Don't Want You to Know About", ISBN 0975599518

I know of people whose cancer has 'spontaneously remitted' (WENT AWAY for no known reason) AFTER they went on programs of herbs and nutrition to restart their immune systems.

You and your family must look out for yourselves to stand a chance of being healthy. This is not a joke, and I'm not selling anything--just trying to help.
I am using the things I learned in those books right now to fight off a second infestation of cancer. I've been at it for over a year now, and think I'm going to make it. Use what works for you, and pass on your success. Best of luck.

By the way, I'm 55 now, and my youngest daughter--19--is the only one of the litter that gives a damn about me. So I can relate to you and your dad.

Answer 10

Sounds normal to me. I lost both parents to cancer and am a cancer survivor myself so I know it is a very difficult and tragic illness. I would like to recommend a book, available also in cassette or CD I think. It is called the power of love and laughter in healing by Dr. Bernard Segal (not sure of spelling) It helped me in so many ways in dealing with sickness, and the loss of someone you love.
I'm sorry you have to deal with this, but, as difficult as it is, life holds many difficult things as we travel through it and this is one book everyone should read or listen to. One other piece of advice, spend as much time with your Dad as you can, no matter how uncomfortable it may be. If you don't, you will be haunted for the rest of your life for the things that should or could have been said that were not.

Answer 11

well i can't say they i've been through what you have been through considering it was my aunt and then my grandma that had cancer. but anyways yea thats pretty normal and you should tell your professors and your boss and your boyfriend b/c he would want to know if something like that has happened and be there for you and if anything you might be able to spend time with your father and boyfriend together. it doesn't have to be a solemn time as long as you have fun and knowing that you have made your father a happy person just by being there. it's up to you if you want to tell your friends. and if you don't know how to bring it up then just blurt it out.

and no you're not acting immature for your age b/c a person very close to you is going to die so it's only natural to become distant with everyone. and if you think you're taking it pretty bad everyone in my family cried when my grandma blubbering like a bunch of babies but yea hope you get through his death well.