I have been thinking a lot about a long past relationship.
I was the one doing the breaking up, and I have this "pit of my stomach" feeling that it was the wrong thing to do.
It has been several years (actually a pretty long time), but I wonder if anyone can suggest a good way to make things right. I know it's a long shot to even get forgivness, let alone maybe a second chance, but I would be very happy with at least letting him know I'm sorry. (I was pretty cold when we broke up, It wasn't pretty).
I don't have contact with the guy any more, not even a current address or phone number, so it's making it difficult to even think of a way.
What I do know is that his parents (we dated in High school) have not moved. That is all I really know.
I've tried looking at myspace, facebook, classmates etc. No go.
Another question, Is it fair to bring up the past? I mean, for all I know he could be married. I don't want to stir a negative pot. Strong Opinions either way?
2007-02-21 10:12:24 · 10 answers · asked by Melissa B 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
wow you brave people who say I should CALL his parents.. My goodness i would die (I'm a pretty shy person). The letter sounds like I good idea. I'd love to hear some other answers
2007-02-21 10:30:31 · update #1
I think you should start by forgiving yourself. We all make mistakes, and no one is perfect. Then move on with your life. Learn from what you did wrong.
If you think it will help you can write a letter to him and just apologize for your behavior and that you wish him well. You could always seal it in a envelope and mail it to his parents address. good luck.
2007-02-21 10:27:50 · answer #1 · answered by hopefloats 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't right a wrong but the past is the past and now is now.
Do what your gut tells you to do. What's the worst thing that can happen? He's married and oh well, you tried. Don't worry about being fair, remember that all is fair in love and war!
Call his parents and ask about him. They will be able to inform you of his status and then you can make a decision of what to do.
Just call and say that you have been thinking really hard of him lately and are wondering if he is ok.
Sound good?
2007-02-21 18:20:06 · answer #2 · answered by Keenu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to find him is just to call his parents and ask. You don't have to explain why you're looking for him, just say you're an old friend who lost touch.
I think the best way to go about it is just to apologise. Tell him it's preyed on your mind ever since, and you just wanted to apologise for the way you broke up with him. If he wants to forgive you, he will. Don't ask him for it, or ask if he does. Your apology should be enough to relieve your conscience, because at that point you've done everything you can. If he chooses not to forgive, that's his problem. If he's not married and he wants to revive a relationship with you, he'll let you know. Otherwise, get your apology out and then drop it. You don't have to feel guilty anymore.
2007-02-21 18:20:15 · answer #3 · answered by aerin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go. If he's gotten over it, you risk raising bad thoughts. If he hasn't, it'll be even worse.
The only reasonable way to proceed with this is for you to attend high school reunions, and see if he shows up. That will answer your questions as to whether he's married and has forgotten all about you (most likely) or has joined a group of Tibetan monks (unlikely). It still won't give you 'permission' to dredge up historical drama.
I have a feeling that idle mind/idle hands are at play here. Perhaps it's time to take up a new hobby or adopt a pet to use up some of that extra energy.
2007-02-21 18:19:46 · answer #4 · answered by nora22000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What not right a letter of apology. State exactly what is that you are sorry for. Ask for forgiveness. Tell him you've been thinking of him and you hope he is doing well. Send the letter addressed to him in care of his parents. They likely can forward it. If he is remotely interested or available he'll contact you. Just include your return address on the envelope. Address to:
Old Boyfriend
% Mom and Dad Jones
123 Main
City, State, Zip.
2007-02-21 18:18:52 · answer #5 · answered by ME 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take your thoughts and feelings and compose them in a letter. Provide relevant contact information in the letter, should he choose to contact you. Mail the letter, addressed to his name, the address of his parents' house. They will be able to deliver it to him somehow. If he contacts you, go from there. If not, know you've done what you could to make amends and be satisfied. Good luck!
2007-02-21 18:16:54 · answer #6 · answered by peersignal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happened in the past, move on. You are probably experiencing guilty remorse. Forgive yourself, time will heal the ache. The other person probably has forgotten and moved on - let it go for your own well being.
2007-02-21 18:16:28 · answer #7 · answered by pinaykezzes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are u crazy?that guy had to undergo alot of pain at your hands already,do u want to ruin it for him all over again.
my advice to u would b that go to his parents and ask abt him.if he has a lovelife then leave ur idea.if however,he is single,then send him a sorry card and make ur intentions perfectly clear,tell him that all u want is to apologise and nothing else,gudluk
2007-02-21 18:30:27 · answer #8 · answered by kiran k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just leave it alone.
No need in dredging up those past feelings.
Obviously this guy has moved on.
And so should you.
2007-02-21 18:17:10 · answer #9 · answered by Guess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
suck her toes
2007-02-21 18:16:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋