My fiance' doesnt want to talk about our wedding plans?

Question

why doesn't he want to help me i told him that its important to me...the wedding however is quit a while away

Answer 1

Mine was the same way! He said whatever I decided would be fine with him and to just tell him what to wear and where to be. My husband claims, that most men are not interested in such things and if they had their way they'd head to city hall. He said it wasn't the wedding that he was excited about, it was the afterwards of being my husband. Awww isn't that sweet? :)

Answer 2

He is dragging his feet for a reason, and I doubt it is money. It costs less than $100 to go to the justice of the peace, and get a license. And in my state, still have $40 left for a bouquet and dinner. So much for that excuse. I would tell him that planning a wedding with all of his family and friends can take over a year, with both people helping, and both people trying to hold down jobs. That planning a wedding does not equal paying for one. Rivers thinks he does not want to marry, ever. That the engagement ring has some purpose, like shutting his family up about living with you, or shutting you up about it. He's tired. Who isn't these days? Does he find the time to fool around with you? then he can find the time to talk. Up to you, but you have shown way more patience that Rivers would have. You need to set a time and date beyond which you will be frustrated to the point of kicking him out, and finding a good man. You get the patience in a relationship award, that is for sure. I could not live with someone who would not talk to me about something dear to my heart. And dear, two can live cheaper than one in a relationship. Utilities, the rent, the phone, everything is being shared by two, except food of course. So that need to save money idea still does not hold water.

Answer 3

Oh honey... I have four words that you need not ever forget: He Is A Guy!!!! My fiance did the same thing. I think its because they honestly dont know what to do and figure you will do what you what (since traditionally the bride does the planning). My suggestion (and what worked for me) was to ask him if there is anything he really wants or doesnt want at the wedding.. then try to include or exclude his suggestions. Then give him direct things to do like: "Here is the number to the DJ, can you call him and set up an time we can meet him?" or "We need to here at such and such time to meet the DJ/Caterer/Cake Person etc." While there ask his opinion on things. Good Luck and Congrats!

Answer 4

You don't need to worry about wedding plans until 9-12 months before the wedding.


If you are within that time you two need to sit down and talk and not while he watching the game. If you told him it was important to you and he's acting like he doesn't care then that's a sign of what part of your marriage will be like. You need to know if he still wants to get married. Be prepared if he says "no". Better a NO now than a messy divorce later

Answer 5

you are not alone, i had very much the same problem, i made my hubby 2 b sit down and talk to me, it turns out he was worried he might upset me if he expressed his likes and dislikes about anything and spoiling the day, after all girls start planning their weddings the day they realise that girls get married.
for example because we hadn't talked about it i started to plan a big family evening reception with all our friends, neighbours and relations, and i mean all. and because he had objected i didn'trealise there was a problem. anyway after our chat we talked about it and we are now having a much smaller more intimate wedding. and to be honest i feel that a lot of the pressure has been taken off me. we aren't inviting anyone we haven't seen or spoken too in 3 or more years, which is about 3/5 of the original guest list, wether they are family or not, after all they are not very much of a family if they can't pick up the phone and give us a call.
we have started over with our wedding planning and are doing it from scratch, together.
i would just give him tuime he will warm to the idea, after all men don't tend to worry about things until right before it is meant to happen.my father in law needs an annual reminder of his wedding anniversary, it is only 7 days after his wifes birthday,and they have been together for 28 years.
just wait for him to ask about the wedding stuff, you can start making the provisional plans now, and when he is ready you can make final bookings with everyone.
good luck and i wish you all the best withyour wedding plans.

Answer 6

Some men feel this whole wedding deal is for the bride. When you mention it he gets fidgety or irritable. He just wants to show up and say the vows.
Some men just aren't into choosing flowers or colors. Most have no idea what you're talking about when you ask them whether they prefer ecru, off-white, beige, or cream.
You should consider yourself lucky that he will help you pick out the tuxes.

On the other hand, this is VERY important to you, and since it is YOUR wedding, he should be MILDLY interested in helping. He does need to help you in picking out the venues for the ceremony & reception. He should be in on who officiates.
Don't concern him with whether you should have plain pew bows, bows with ribbon & tulle or bows with ribbon, tulle & flowers....unless he's footing the bill. Then he'd better get REAL interested.

Oh & tell him when it comes time to choose tuxes & he grimmaces, tell him you've found some absolutely gorgeous PINK ones. He'll help. :)

Good luck & Congratulation!

Answer 7

my husband was the same way at the time we well I was planning the wedding!!! you might be thinking he's getting cold feet?? NAW men just don't like planning this kind of stuff...its more for girls and when they put their ideas we knock them so they feel like they shouldn't help...cause everything my husband suggested at the time i always said no.....so maybe have him get his list of buddies together that will be attending the wedding, have him choose the limos they will be riding in,. have him choose what alcohol will be there unless you are having a open bar, just let him do the fun things....leave all the stressful stuff to us....but in the end all the stress was worth it..good luck on the wedding and a long happy life together =)

Answer 8

Men - especially when the weddings a little ways off - aren't into making plans. As the time gets closer, just stress the importance of talking about it.

In the meantime, start picking out your favorites that way you'll have some options for him.

Answer 9

okay so the Wedding is a Woman thing. If you asked him, he would probably being happy eloping and then having a low key party for your family and friends when you get back.

I wouldn't worry about it unless he is having doubts about getting married. Also many times women get crazy about their weddings, if you are acting crazy he may want to back off until it is over and you relax a little. Maybe you need to just be nicer to him and everyone else. Too many times women expect their man to be women, we expect them to care about all the little details, that they may not care about. He probably doesn't care about the color of the ribbons or what the bridesmaids dresses look like. Most time when it comes to these kinds of details, guys will tell you if the really don't like it, but other than that they could careless. Except when it comes to a wedding, most guys know better than to say they don't like it for fear of getting in trouble. He will just go along with what you want. Guys are just wired different, we would all get along better if we could understand this.

I am not dogging on guys, I am just saying that we are different. Just Chill a little, unless he is acting like he doesn't want to get married.

Answer 10

Some guys just aren't into the wedding planning thing - like some women are not into football. Ask him how involved he wants to be - if he's not too interested then you can probably go with whatever you want (which can also make things easier too). Good luck and congrats!

Answer 11

well for starters, you said the wedding is quite a while away. men for the most part, dont tend to plan things out for as long as we women do. they tend to be a lot more last minute in their planning. also, men a lot of times tend to be of the mindset that all they have to do is "show up" and they've done their part. if you would like more help from him, then once it gets closer to time, try explaining how much it would mean to you for him to give you opinions, help, etc.