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I am with this guy, and we are engaged... my parents dont know yet because they dont like him. My step mom told me if i married him id be disowned... (she doesnt know we are engaged) its heartbreaking, and they havent even gotten to know him. he is the sweetest guy ive ever met and ive never had anyone treat me so well. i know without any doubt in my mind that he is the one. the only reason my parents dont like him is because he is a little bit older than me. i plan on moving out in a few weeks and have trouble telling my parents because i know they will freak out. how do i move out with the least amount of tension between me and my parents?

2007-02-21 09:19:38 · 11 answers · asked by Aura 1 in Family & Relationships Family

11 answers

hmmm.. it is a quite a difficult question...i think you should have an adult conversation with your parents and try to tell them how you feel and tell them to give him a chance to prove that hes a good guy and partner...make him prove to them that hes a good partner.... but if they still don't agree then i think you need to take a big decision and a big step... if you really love him and are attached and attracted to him then i don't think you should lose him coz true love only happens once and there is no better emotion than love... you should go with him and slowly after your married they will become alright with it... but try and tell you parents to give him a chance to prove that he is a good man...i understand that your family is important too coz they have been with yuo since you were very little... but you need to think really deeply and do what your inner inner inner feeling tells you to do, do what you feel is right..

anyway best of luck with your life... take care.. :-)

2007-02-21 10:50:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

I wish you had said how old you are and how old he is. Believe it or not parents do know best. Your parents only want what is best for you. They have been around alot longer then you have and have made several mistakes on there own to learn from. Put yourself in there place. How would you be acting if it was your daughter, and how would you want her to react. There is no one in this world that will love you like your parents. Dont move out and tell your parents its going to be a long engagement and go from there. You will be engaged and living at home, maybe your parents will see your serious about him and get to know him. Dont rush into a marrige. If he is right for you there should be no problem in waiting a little while to get married. Good Luck!

2007-02-21 09:29:26 · answer #2 · answered by Mom 5 · 0 0

First of all, how much is "a little bit older?" Sometimes outside, unbiased, sources can see things that maybe you can't. Is it just your parents that don't like him? What about your friends? Now, I don't thing you have to find someone that makes everybody else happy but do at least consider what they have to say. Also, take a step back for a second... what would you say to a friend if she were dating someone LIKE him? Everybody knows the saying that "love is blind" and it is so true. Many times when you are in a relationship you don't see things that others do. No matter what, in the end it is your choice. If you have truly decided that this is what you want to do, then do it. One thing my mom always said was that, before marriage, you have to have your eyes wide open,... after marriage, you have your eyes wide shut. Lol. Marriage is a big deal. My husband and I have been married for almost two years and our parents didn't want us to get married either. [We got married at 19] Weddings are a lot easier with parents support though. I would talk to them. One word of advice, if you are moving out.. to move in with him, I would be careful. Make him marry you first. Lol. I had a friend that was "going to get married" and moved in with him, she ended up wanting to breaking up with him and was stuck in lease. Make sure it is what you want to do. Hope some of this helps.

2007-02-21 09:44:39 · answer #3 · answered by sweet_roxy349 2 · 2 0

Depending on your age, I would say that you just need to leave and let the chips fall where they may. It's your life and you need to live it as you see fit... and sometimes that means that our parents won't agree. This could be the biggest mistake of your life..but it's yours to make. Some parents just have a hard time letting go. Do what you feel is the best thing.. the relationship between you and your fiance really doesn't have any bearing on the relationship with your parents, or it shouldn't. Do the adult thing and let them know your intentions and follow thru. Let them know that you love them and want them to be a part of your life, but not at the expense of losing the man that you want to spend your life with. I hope everything works out for you, and just try and remember that to your parents you are their child and they are only doing what they feel is their only option... talk with them and help them accept your decision. Peace.

2007-02-21 09:30:19 · answer #4 · answered by julianna76301 5 · 0 0

Follow your heart. If you can't live without him and can not face the future without him in it, then go for it. Your parents while they have your best interest at heart don't always know what is best, despite what MOM said. At some point, if you are at least 18 and it is legal, you have to start living your own life and making your own decisions. Tell your parents, let them freak. Don't get into any arguements with them but simply tell them how it is going to be. If they don't like it, their loss. My parents hated my hubby at first and they didn't even know him. Now, they know him and love him. Give them time to adjust and prove them wrong. They will come around in time. Especially since they love you and want you to be happy.

2007-02-21 10:25:12 · answer #5 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 0 0

Since you're an adult, tell them at the last minute. It will make the last few days that you're spending at home more pleasant.
You are an adult aren't you?
Also, tell them that you plan to marry him and they will be invited to the wedding and that it's their choice whether to attend or not. Also, be prepared for them not to attend. Realize that you have the right to be happy and tell them that if they respected you as an adult, they would support your choices.
Don't fight them, why waste that energy on converting some one or some ones over to your side that isn't willing to budge. Talk about a colassal waste of time!
Enjoy your life. Enjoy your love. No regrets!
In the long run, your parents will lose. They will lose because they choose to play hard ball when that may not be the best way to go.
Sometimes we have to distance ourselves from the people who love us especially when their love is unbearable, overcontrolling and selfish.

2007-02-21 09:26:38 · answer #6 · answered by TygerLily 4 · 0 1

on a similar time because it rather is often an outstanding gesture for the bride to have the groom's sisters interior the marriage party as bridesmaids, that is no longer the common etiquette neither is it required. you mustn't take it for my area in case you at the instant are not close together with her, which it seems such as you quite are not. in the adventure that your loved ones is paying for an element of the marriage they could definitely be lined interior the countless making plans, yet while they at the instant are not, then they might in all risk basically be asked to take part interior the making plans tiers as a courtesy. It sounds as though Jessica and her mom have confident concepts approximately what they like to have ensue so that is in all risk that your loved ones (your brother lined!) will only could sit down returned and desire for the excellent. whats up, a minimum of you at the instant are not marrying her.

2016-11-24 22:35:51 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

Are you over the age of 18? If you are don't worry about what your parents think, they'll come around in time.

How much older is this guy? If he's like 50 years old, than I understand fyour parents concern, I'd be concerned too.

2007-02-21 09:27:32 · answer #8 · answered by Aunt Henny Penny 5 · 1 1

well tell your parents that your old enough to move out. and dudet if u truley "love" this dude then you wouldntb afraid to tell your parents that "he's the one" and that your engaged to him. riskin bein apart of ur family is a great sacrifice, and it mite just be good enough to let your parents live your life and get to know this dude.

2007-02-21 10:10:47 · answer #9 · answered by ~ Cutie with Anwsers ~ 2 · 0 0

If you are under 18 you pick your family. If you are over 18 and you have to ask then it makes me wonder how committed to this guy you really are. If it was me I wouldnt have to ask someone else. It sounds to me like you dont really know what you want.

2007-02-21 09:31:02 · answer #10 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 2 0

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