I am so concerned about my lack of self esteem affecting my relationship. Now, I have been around through thick and thin for my girlfriend. I take her places, treat her like a queen, and take care of her and her daughter many times. My gf has a disability, so I do a lot of "little" things for her that she really appreciates. The BIG problem is that I really only have one close friend that I rarely see. I don't have much interaction with people at work, and I've had a hard life. It is so HARD for me to open up with her. I want to so badly, but there are times where we just sit in silence. I talked to her about this and she says she loves me and doesn't mind that I'm a "private" person. I keep thinking that this is going to turn into a problem eventually. I work full time and go to school part time, so it's difficult to take up hobbies. She talks about work a lot, but I usually don't have much commentary. Has anyone been through this problem and overcame? I love her.
2007-02-21 08:51:44 · 6 answers · asked by mspideyman2007 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
4 hours ago
PS: I know about all this good listener stuff, etc. Eventually, a woman does a person wants to feel intimate with their partner. There can be no intimacy if one of the partners is always holding back, or has nothing to say. I have always been the quiet type. I have always been somewhat insecure. I just wish I knew how to break out of my shell.
2007-02-21 08:52:25 · update #1
Jon-N, 3 wives and counting, sounds like you need the advice.
2007-02-21 09:08:12 · update #2
Do you have things in common besides being together and stuff? I don't have a lot of things in common with my girlfriend, but you can always find subjects and small talk. The clue is to make her laugh; now, you don't have to be a stand-up comedian or anything, but I'm sure you can find a way to make her giggle. Good luck.
2007-02-21 09:12:37 · answer #1 · answered by Gonzo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right about one thing , this could turn into a problem eventually and so i suggest to u that u start little by little. You dont have to come out and tell everything all at once as it may be a liittle emotional for you.
If you had the guts to talk to her about your 'conversation' problems then you've already made a good start .
If you dont get these things off your chest fom now , one day you may just have a complete breakdown. Also what i find that works is, if you write down all the things you want to tell her, maybe in a journal or on a piece of paper , whatever it may be , that could also be a good start.
Good luck!
2007-02-21 09:05:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard, but you have to find things that make you laugh or bring happiness to both of you. Like, things that you enjoy doing. Find things to talk about like news, work, or everyday things. Find a way to build up your self esteem. Is it your looks that are making you feel so down? What can you change about yourself to make things better? Be positive and happy. People gravitate towards that no one wants to be around someone who is always down on themselves. You seem like a good person..you just need to find some joy in something. Joking around...helps a lot. My family is filled with jokesters. One time I woke up and my front door to my room had toilet paper taped all over it...I could not get out. It was a pretty funny sight! Tease her...tickle her..find ways to make her laugh. Don't be too serious! Go to a Comedy Club, Karoake bar...watch people make fun of themselves. Laughter is great in any realtionship and it will make you think happy thoughts. Try it.
2007-02-21 08:59:59 · answer #3 · answered by asiansmile 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all no one can break out of your shell but you adn when i asked for advice from my mother on the same subject she told me "it will be hard so realize it now. so if you are gonna do it then just do it! worrying is why you have this problem in the first place." if you want to tell your girlfriend, TELL HER she would love it! and then you can kiss her after she tries to make it better. show affection when you feel like she is the best!
2007-02-21 09:00:49 · answer #4 · answered by summer girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH MY GOD DUDE - STOP TAKING THE ESTROGEN PILLS.
Women have enough conversation for both partners by themselves.
A real man only talks when something is really bothering him. Otherwise, you should stay cold, silent and strong like one of those bouncers who guards nightclub doors.
2007-02-21 08:53:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
be yourself..... that all i have to say.
good luck
2007-02-21 08:54:56 · answer #6 · answered by SUNNY 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋