Is it time to let my relationship go?

Question

I have been in a serious relationship for two years now. We both have caused each other some very serious pain, but both love each other enough to keep holding on. Lately it seems as though all we do is fight. The hardest thing to deal with is the cruelty...I know we love each other, but we are still just down right cruel to one another...saying things we know will cause pain to the other. I cannot imagine my future without him, but at the same time I cannot imagine a future like this. I am so confused and have no idea what to do...walk away or hope we can figure it out...

Answer 1

Sounds like it is time to call it quits. I heard a quote once that says "People show you who they are". It is up to you to just see it. It will be very hard at first and you will wonder if you did the right thing, but in time you will know that this wasn't the person for you. A loving relationship should make you feel good and lift you up, he should be your "soft place to fall". A great guy is out there for you, you need to forget about this one and allow a new person to come into your life. Good Luck.

Answer 2

Being cruel and mean in a relationship will not get you anywhere. Why would you hurt the one you love? Most people who are in love do things to make that person happy not sad! If all you do is fight then where do you have time to be happy? Are you happy? I understand you have been with this person for two years and you feel that you don't want to start over and that you love this person. You know them and they know you. However, this relationship seems unhealthy and I think it is time to move on to something better. You love him, but sometimes love is not enough..respect, honesty, and being trusted has a lot to do with the building blocks of a good relationship. If you don't have that then you don't have anything. You probably don't want to leave him because you'd be alone. There's nothing wrong with feeling like that, but there is something wrong in staying in a relationship that is destructive. Sometimes, when you love someone you have to let them go and find someone else. You don't seem happy about the relationship and how things are going. You have to leave and find something better. A person who loves you will not treat you that way and vice versa. I hope this helps.

Answer 3

I have been in a very similar position before. Particularly the part where you say you can't imagine a future without him and can't imagine it with him. That is your first clue. I know you love him, but if you can't imagine a future like this, how can it possibly work? Being cruel to one another is a horrible way to continue a relationship. It is simply not healthy and I would suggest either sitting down and having a serious conversation about this or call it quits. It can't be healthy for either one of you. Best of luck!

Answer 4

Take time off then. Probably you both have been seeing too much of each other and that break (not break up) will do you both good, i believe. The best thing is, no contacts whatsoever during this period and time will tell if you both are meant to be. After a while, when you both really miss each other and feel that there is still plenty of hope in this relationship, decide what you wanna do then. Mind you, its not easy coz your hands will itch like hell to call or text one another. Good luck to you both!

Answer 5

You need to get out of this relationship. It doesn't sound healthy. If it is meant to be, then maybe you to will take a break from each other and be able to start fresh without all the hostility in the future.
Otherwise, you need to work on you. Find some hobbies and interests that will keep you busy when you go through the break-up.

Answer 6

Why on earth would you want to be in a relationship where you have caused each other "very serious pain"? Being in a real relationship means showing respect to your partner -- not saying things to hurt that person. People forget that love isn't supposed to be complicated and that really, and I know it's cliche, sometimes love just isn't enough. Love can be a weak reason to stay together.

Answer 7

I would have to say that it is time to take a break. Love is not supposed to hurt. I am not sure how old you are but take time to find out who you are, what you like, and what goals you want in your life. Then, you will be able to find a relationship with someone who has similar interests and goals. Sometimes we tend to think that it is better to be in an unhealthy relationship than none at all but believe me, the opposite is true. It will hurt for awhile but it will hurt less than if you stick in there and try to make it work. Hope this helps.

Answer 8

perhaps you could both agree to arrange to have time away from each other say for 2 weeks, carry on life as normal but without any contact to each other so no texts emails phone calls meeting up etc, after say 2 weeks get together and chat and see how you both feel and take it from there.
good luck

Answer 9

DANGGG
a lil break shall do you two some good i think.
you both need time to see how life would be without the other. like if you do take a break from him and you do find out that you NEED him in your everyday life, then well hook up with him again

oh perhaps go with another approach: talk to him. and try not to cuss him out while your at it ;]

Answer 10

Maybe it is time for the two of you to have a mutual break-up
start seeing other people if you want but really it is not worth all the fighting if you guys are just BF/GF maybe he is not the one for you and you need to find a new guy.