me and my both want to move to the next level of our realtionship but he doesnt want to hurt me and i dont want to take the chances of ppl finding out if we did it or not. should we wait?
2007-02-21 08:51:03 · 26 answers · asked by sec_cogley 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you feel that you have to ask this question, you probably need to wait. You didn't say how old you were. Don't have sex unless you are in love and don't have sex if you are too young.
2007-02-21 08:55:37 · answer #1 · answered by melani 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's willing to wait, then you guys should wait until you're comfortable, because if he loves you, he should be able to because love isn't based on sex. If you're ready, you guys feel completely comfortable with one another, it's your choice, but be sure to use condoms, and if you can, get birth control.
I'm on the Nuva Ring the once a month birth control and I highly recommend it out of all the other birth control options. If you guys think about being more active in the future sex life, and you can't get access to birth control, ask around, look in the phone book, there may be a clinic that'll offer you some for free if you qualify. You just have to be a student under 18, or if someone's over the age of 18 and jobless, they can also get it for free.
If you can't find anything, you can always come back here, ask about free birth control, and leave the closest major you live near, someone should be able to answer or look it up for you.
But remember it's both of your guys' choice, and think wisely, go with your instincts. Your boyfriend should be the one you can be most personal with, so be open to him, you guys can just explore each other more until you are comfortable with him, the you can enjoy home run. ^_~*
Good Website to Consider!
http://www.plannedparenthood.org
2007-02-21 17:29:16 · answer #2 · answered by Chi ^_~* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he wants to have sex wit hyou then apparently he loves you alot. Being a christian,(please don't think that i'm acting like an over protective adult) the bible says that we shouldn't have sex and kids unless we are married. Now,if you're under the age of 20 then you should wait until atleast 21 or 20 and then you can get married and have kids. My big brother was born when my mom was 21 so that's not a bad age.
2007-02-21 16:58:20 · answer #3 · answered by Krystiana K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should wait if you are concerned about other people finding out. This doesn't indicate a high level maturity in either of you, and people knowing shouldn't matter if you truly loved someone since then you won't feel the need to keep any part of your relationship secret. (Notice I am saying secret, not discrete).
Also, having sex does not "move you to the next level" of your relationship. While it certainly changes the relationship, it does not result in a more committed one. In other words, if either of you are using intercourse as an attempt to artificially increase the intimacy of the relationship, it will backfire.
Please wait.
2007-02-21 17:00:29 · answer #4 · answered by HallamFoe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sara, So young, leyt me just say that delayed gratification is always THE best policy. Look, think of it like a cake. Sex is merely the icing on the cake for truly commitment based love. Waiting to have sex is a way to show true love. If he truly and deeply loves you, he will wait and be patient for you untill marriage. The message being to you that you are his presious jewel, his finest treasure that he would do anything for. Greater love has no one than he lay his life down for his friends. True love lays down its life for others. I ,mean what about your reputation? What about your family and friends. Your father especially. What about the far greater important heart issues at steak here. Your hopes, dreams , ambitions, the house and white fence and a cat or dog, I mean the future. If you have sex now, it will raise expectations and you will find out the hard way that without the wonderful protection and covering marriage brings to the relationship, it can prove rather disasterous.
Some say "If you love me then prove it by sleeping with me." Yet in another case "If you love me then be patient and wait for me." No which one do you think is an expresion of deep and true commitment based love that will last an entire lifetime?
The first option requires compromise and surrendering your virtue, reputation, integrity and purity. Its like playing russian roulette with your life. What about issues of family and what if you have a child? Is he ready to be a father and raise the child with you? I am not telling you what to do, I am only expressing that in your relationship, there are far greater things at risk here and issues that need to be addressed. If he wants you then he needs a strong dose of reality. Is his love for you that strong. I mean once all the make up is off and you don't do your hair up every time you see him, will he accept you when its not so nice. Reality sometimes sucks, but it can test us, all of us and show whats really deep down in the heart. Do you truly know his heart and is he truly committed to you for life. The proof is in the pooding and a ring symbelizes that commitment. If he will do that then yes, after the ceremony and he wholeheartedly sais "I DO" then yes, the covering of the covanent of marriages is so freeing and liberating. You can then fully give yourself over to him in the passions and throws of love because then it is protected and you know you are well worth the wait. It is not about sex, it is all about relationship and knowing true love.
2007-02-21 17:08:32 · answer #5 · answered by John S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have to agree with others on this one, if you're not sure, then you're not ready. Even those that are sure aren't ready most times. Try to wait until you're at least 18 and have been together for a long time. I don't advocate waiting until marriage but I also don't believe in giving it up for casual puppy love. And as much as you may think you are mature, teenagers have a long way to go. And boy did I hate that statement when I was a teen but I do understand now.
2007-02-21 16:59:26 · answer #6 · answered by armus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea, go ahead and put out. What have you REALLY got to lose, you'd make the man happy, and who knows....you might actually like it and have a good time. Whoa! there's a shocker...... If you're worried about reputation.....to hell with what people think. You can't go your whole life, or even a day of it, worrying about whether Joan or Jane approves of you. Worry about your future hubby. Would you rather have a miserable boyfriend to have two happy(and spiteful) girlfriends? They just wish they could get some too, but they've been too hard wired into thinking their poop don't stink and their genitals are made of gold. Get real. Have some good, hot, sloppy sex and enjoy yourselves. These times have made sexual worry-warts of us. Sure there's diseases and stuff going on, but you know whether you're chancing it or not. I know I did. If all woman, especially the hot ones, put out......imagine the peace and tranquility.......Maybe that's what they've been needing over in the middle-east, with them poor sex-starved terrorists running around. They just need love, and some booty. Have a nice day.
Oh, I just had to add one more thing for all the goody-two-shoes out there all worried about marriage. Marriage is dead!! If you wait till you're married to figure out the most intimate of details about your partner, you're not only foolish, but asking for a divorce. Seriously, gallop polls and everyone and their mother can tell you that marriage is on the decline and is no longer a true affirmation of love or commitment. No marriage, no divorce. Be smart, have sex, live together, eat breakfast in bed together, wake-up puking your guts out on one another, etc. See yourselves through many highs and lows, THEN, and only THEN will you TRULY KNOW that you're made for one another. Those old couples you see either got lucky or lived in misery for years. Which one are you?
2007-02-22 12:52:28 · answer #7 · answered by joshnya68 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
any hint of uncomfortable feeling should be taken as a sign to wait a little bit when you are completely comfortable with any of the outcomes then go ahead and move on to the next level
2007-02-21 16:54:32 · answer #8 · answered by BehindThisSmileIStillLoveHim.... 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious? Even asking this question means you are way too young. And being worried about people finding out? Again, another big strike out. You need to quit dating and concentrate on school, friends, and hobbies or you will find yourself pregnant by some pimple-faced boy.
.
2007-02-21 16:59:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how old r u and ur boyfriend? im going to wait till im 16 before i have sex with someone and if u r 16 go ahead have fun!! lol and don't worry bout what other people say almost everyone has sex in there life soo what if u have it sooner then other people
2007-02-21 16:55:08 · answer #10 · answered by christine ann 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋