Men who are old enough to be my dad aproach me all the time wanting to be my "friend". The want to talk to me, take me out, etc.
I am never interested, and I don't have the nerve to just tell them. I ask them for their #s, and say I will call them, and I never do.
If I tell them I'm too busy to go out, have a jealous boyfriend, or another polite excuse, they never get it. They continue to flirt with me.
How do I let a guy know I'm not interested in their "friendship" without sounding harsh? I don't want to resort to, "Look dude, I don't want to talk to you or go anywhere with you. You are soooooo not my type. Get away from me!"
Help.
2007-02-21 08:48:17 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It doesn't make you a "b**ch" to refuse a man's attentions or his offers. If they try and make you feel that way, then they are just being manipulative. You have every right to say "No Thank You" to ANY offer that is made to you, whether it is a date or a job offer or your granny trying to give you another cookie. It doesn't matter - just because they offer it doesn't mean you have to take it. So go ahead and refuse, politely but firmly.
These men will keep asking you again and again until you give them a clear message that you aren't interested. Offering to take their number, giving tired excuses, hemming and hawing, only encourages them... men like this take anything that's not a "NO" as a "yes" or a "keep trying." So you have to make it clear to them. If you keep acting like such a doormat, eventually one of them will corner you into a bad situation. You have to have the courage to set your foot down.
Try using these responses, delivered in a firm but polite tone:
-No, thank you.
-No, thank you, I don't want any.
-No thank you, I don't want to date you, and I consider the question highly inappropriate.
-I don't date older men.
-I'm busy right now, please leave me alone.
-Sir, I'm not interested in dating you, now or ever. Please go away now.
-You're old enough to be my father, and I am NOT the sort of girl who dates older men. You're barking up the wrong tree.
-Leave me alone. Now.
-If you don't leave me alone, I'm calling security.
2007-02-21 09:07:30 · answer #1 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will have to be totally honest, but that doesn't mean cruel. Just simply tell them, Thank you for the offer, but I am just not interested. If after being completely honest, they persist (after all the idea of a guy not taking no for an answer is not that far off the mark) then sometimes you do have to get a little rude. Like, "What part of not interested are you having a problem with?"
2007-02-21 17:00:57 · answer #2 · answered by colorados_lost_rose 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, mistake #1: Don't ask for their numbers. This will lead to a feeling of seeming to begin friendship with them, and you're only letting them down in a BIG WAY 'cuz now they expect you to call them. =)
Advice #2: Wear a t-shirt that saids: "Look dude, I don't want to talk to you or go anywhere with you. You are soooooo not my type. Get away from me!" or something along those lines... XD
Good Luck!
2007-02-21 16:54:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to politely but firmly tell them that you appreciate the compliment, however you are not interested.Those guys are probably in the middle of a mid-life crisis and trying to proove they can date a younger woman... you owe them nothing.
Do not take their number from them and be sure to use body language to say, "no" as welll. After making your statement, turn away and resume whatever you were doing. Do not talk to them any more. If they insist on talking to you, and you have no companion to talk to, pull your cell phone out and make a phone call or pretend to be getting one. That should be a hint enough.....
2007-02-21 18:05:00 · answer #4 · answered by dedum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Us men usually won't pick up on clues or hints. Come out and say it: "I am not interested in getting to know you, no offense." I know that personally I would rather be rejected rudely than misled.
If he cannot handle rejection, it's not your problem. He is the one who initiated it. If he takes rejection well, he will politely dismiss himself and you won't have to worry about him anymore.
2007-02-21 16:54:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mistake is asking them for their phone number. That could earn you the label you want to avoid. The best approach is the open and frank approach. "I'm sorry, I'm really not interested in going out with older men". Or: "I'm sorry, but I'm really not interested in going out with you". The worst thing you can do is lead them on.
2007-02-21 16:53:02 · answer #6 · answered by Mr Ed 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, you have to take a stand and be firm. Because if you aren't, people will walk all over you.
Next time an elder approaches, just tell them "I already have a dad, why would I need you?"
2007-02-21 16:53:23 · answer #7 · answered by germaine_87313 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If they're old enough to be your dad, then don't worry about hurting their feeling. They should know better. Tell them to f*ck off and keep walking. Why are you worried about not hurting their feeling. They're perverts. They don't deserve any sympathy. Get a backbone and tell them to take their Social Security checks and buy a clue.
2007-02-21 16:52:46 · answer #8 · answered by bodinibold 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
you don't have to sound like or act like a **tch, but you have to be honest and firm in conveying your message, and stop taking their numbers. you get their hopes up that you'd call and you don't.
when they approach, don't stand there and engage them in conversation, you're giving them false hope. excuse yourself and walk away.
2007-02-21 17:00:01 · answer #9 · answered by loving 40+ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Basically what you do is say that you are not wanting a boyfriend right now and that it would just be better if you guys remained fiends.
2007-02-21 16:56:07 · answer #10 · answered by rafdaman15 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋