make him understand that i have needs that need to be fulfilled and that he needs to open up with me. Tell me how he feels and how can make him tell me what is wrong in our relationship? i'm just tired of the same old thing over and over in our relationship. its time for a change. i need real answers
2007-02-21 08:42:30 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You should tell him exactly what you wrote on here...
2007-02-21 08:46:36 · answer #1 · answered by The Worrywart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men don't always like to talk about "feelings". That is a big turn-off for men. If you communicate simply what you need and want from your relationship, then that is fine. Just don't expect him to do the same. Most guys will let you know what they want in their own way. You could tell him that you have the need for him to communicate better with you so that you aren't left wondering what he is feeling. If he has difficulty with this, then you could ask him to please try. If he continues to have difficulty, then you could at least develop a signal or some other demonstration from him to show you when he is feeling upset or boxed in somehow. That way you will know to give him space. If he doesn't give you that "signal", then you can assume all is well between you. Some guys are very good communicators and will make communication a priority in their relationship. My fiance is like that. I had an ex-boyfriend however, that would barely talk. I never knew where I stood with him. That is part of why we broke up. Still, his personality was just more reserved & quiet when it came to talking about his feelings. Cut your guy some slack. Communicating openly about feelings is just not something that most guys do naturally. Good luck.
2007-02-21 16:50:32 · answer #2 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you guys been together? It sounds like it's been a while and you are fed up with things. Honestly, from the sound of your post, I'm not sure you can do anything. Men don't think the same way that women think - they are just wired differently. Communication is the best key - who knows, he might have some needs as well. But don't pester him too much - he'll just turn away. If you feel strongly that it's time for change - you might need to go with your instincts.
2007-02-21 16:47:50 · answer #3 · answered by MommaK 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down in a quiet place, with NO interruptions, and "put the cards on the table". Anything that bothers you, needs to be addressed. He might get mad, but if he does, so be it. You're NOT happy, and the only way to get the issues resolved, is to talk about them. Don't be accusatory, or he will get on the defensive....just be open and honest. Good Luck! The sooner you do this, the better!
2007-02-21 16:48:27 · answer #4 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him in a matter of fact and serious way. Guys hate when their girlfriends sound whiney or naggy. Let him know that if he dosn't listen and take you seriously then it's over. If he does not want to listen to you on a serious level during a serious conversation, then he's not the man for you.
If he really loves you, he'll care about how you feel.
2007-02-21 16:46:22 · answer #5 · answered by ☺SDgurl☺ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all you can do is be honest with your man and hope that he returns that honesty. im also currently in a situation such as yours and have just come to the conclusion that i need to take that first step. how will he know im unhappy if i dont speak up and let him know? he wont. and because i love him so much, i feel like talking to him about this is the best option. if i didnt' care - i would have dumped him by now:) Good luck with your man. if he doesn't reciprocate what you're giving to him or he just doesn't understand - he may not be the man for you. i know its hard to stomach that - but i too have just come to that conclusion myself and will be going through with my discussion tonite:) wish me luck:)
2007-02-21 16:46:59 · answer #6 · answered by msdrdn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I take it that ordinary conversation is not working? Here's an idea: try writing him a letter...not an email...and pour it out for him. He can read it privately without feeling pressured or watched and then it might create an opening for real discussion.
Good luck!
2007-02-21 16:47:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men just don't want to open up. It's not in them at all. Don't take this personally, they're just private.
If it's bugging you, it's time for counseling.
2007-02-21 16:45:48 · answer #8 · answered by tony1athome 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
One Two Three Four..I smell a dirty whore!
2007-02-21 16:45:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋