How can I tell if my 11 year old daughter is depressed?

Question

my daughter lives 2 hours away with her father. due to the school she attends, a very good private school in which she excels in academically, and we chose not to move her. She doesnt want to move, so I am moving back to the town I where they are living. But recently, she has been acting really depressed and giving me hints that shes missing me alot. I talk to her everyday, several times, and see her often. Yesterday, she asked me to look at a video on google images that was about a little girl who lost her dad on 9/11. The girl was talking to her dads grave and telling him how much she missed him and all the things they used to do. I lost it emotionally. I asked her if she felt like the little girl and she said she did. I told her that she hadnt lost her mom like the girl in the video and she will always have me. What do i say to her

Answer 1

it sound slike she is depressed.. its difficult for an 11 year old to lose her mother even though you aren't gone she is goign through a difficult period, and not having her mom there is really stressful. Maybe once you move and she lives with you she'll be better but you shoudl really take her to a psychiatrist who can better tell whether its teenage moodiness or depression...

As someone who went throgh this when iI was like 11, her admitting that she feels lost is a huge cry for help becuase most depressed pre teens won't talk to their parents about it. She might be more willing to talk to an impartial therpaist about it becuase its less embarrasing. She might feel like by being depressed she's letting youdown when she's supposed to being strong.
this is not something you or her father can handle purely by yourself

Answer 2

behaviour At any age, people seem some what different, when depressed. People don't alway know or realize that someone is depressed, even though it's obvious, but the signs are there-
A change in attitude about something, a resistence to going to church, sunday school, school, to work or to whatever, sad at the thought of someone or of something. If you know how a person (your daughter, for example) normally is, and tat someone seems
different some way, perhaps more distant or resentful, tryto noyice the signs, because depression is present. What do you say to her? Tell her (if it's true) that she's your daughter, that she'll always be your little girl, even when she grows up, that you will never stop caring about her. Also remind her, she can talk to you about anything. While you're at it, ask her if she'd like for you to move in with her and her father, and if it's ok with him, if you make that suggested move.

Answer 3

Hi Anngeez--I am a father of 3 sons--my wife and I were divorced when my youngest son was 10--the other boys were 13 and 16. I think that the kids are hurt in a divorce and need special love and visits from both parents--I think somehow the kid or kids think they have some part in the divorce--They love both parents and should have equal opportunities to be with them--not I don't think your daughter is depressed --she is hurt and it isn't her fault. Make sure you let her know that the divorce isn't anything she has done --Kids do feel guilty for some reason when a divorce happens--love her and be honest with her and she will understand better --look for a change in attitude and grades. That will be a sign of depression --right now I think she is hurt. God Bless all of you

Answer 4

You're on the right track by moving back there. She misses you, so go to her. This will improve.

As for clinical depression, I don't see signs of that in your posting. It just sounds like she really, really misses you. And possibly her father too (does she live at the school?)

Answer 5

This is very serious, it can be a begining of something else, if you both have custody of the child I suggest to take her to a child therapist, and if you have it the same in school coment this with the Social worker or caunselor of the school so they can sugest a therapist, suggest this to the father if theres a open relation, if not make the sugestion get to him by other means.

Answer 6

Have you told her that you plan on moving to where she is?She is a pre-teen and girls have a lot of things going on with their bodies at around that age.Talk to the counselor at the school so they can help her to stay focused and not think she has no Mother that cares.Let her into your plans, she's just missing the day to day she had with you.Hope everything works out quickly.

Answer 7

Sorry to hear this. Is there a way you , her dad and she could talk about your situation and find a great solution? like if you move back into their town...could she come and visit you after school and go home to her dad in the evening? Or something similar...you know what I mean.
And keep talking to her! That is important too.

Answer 8

well, I'm 14 and my lil bro's 11 so I hope I'm still in that range. Tell her that if she ever has to talk to you about ANYTHING you are always there for her. (yes, this does include boys. My mother still has to grasp this fact and I'm in High School now!=;) I was very depressed from 11-13. I can assure you though, If you can help her survive middle school, She is less likley to be bee-otchy to you in High School (worked for my mom!)

Answer 9

I would ask her, why she feels sad, if she feels sad. Then I probably would have a talk with her father and see if he has noticed anything. You may also want to consider speaking with her guidance counselor or requesting information about depression in children. Contact her family doctor and briefly discuss it with him, and she if he has any suggestions. I pray everything works out well

Answer 10

i don't think she is depressed cuz she is excelling academically. maybe, she is just confused. she is only 11 and can not really fathom the separation. being in touch with her most of the time is good. you are a good mom. maybe explaining to her everything will help. she is bright and smart, she will understand.