OK I have a wife at home and a daughter, our marriage is going to hell, my daughter hasnt seen me in a year, i have a batchelors degree and i plan on opening my own business when i get home. I just needed ideas to get me home as fast as possible, gay is not an option they do not care about that much anymore. Right now I will not be out for another 2 years. My wife and I can not handle all the medical issues and problems with our marriage with me being away. Need some real advice. Not people telling me to act gay, or man up. Navy is not going to be my LIfe My family is! Please real advice here.
2007-02-21 08:13:44 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Think navy wife covered it.
Advise: the basics:
1. if medical issues: yours or hers?
2. no bs, work hard at you job, impress your superior Chiefs and officers.
3. read the above again: I would do anything for a troop who tried and was honest with me. Anything.
4. ask a Chaplain first, then ask him to set up your seeing a counselor: whatever they offer a corpsman, a CPO corpsman, a PA, or a psychologist or such like me.
5. the above is important: attitude: be honest, they are human, trust me a CPO mental health specialist can do amazing things.
Simple: no way. Based upon: been there done it.
Joe Doc
If you wife lives near a naval base: she can talk with a variety of folks, your duty station or ship will have a "spouses support" system. I was army but took all calls from the "Sgt Major's" wife: day or night.
2007-02-21 09:14:46 · answer #1 · answered by cruisingyeti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok you should have given a little more info the first time, we thought you were still in basic. I think you should try to finish out the contract. Getting busted on the pee test is the only other way and you may do time unless its a legal prohibited substance, like steroids, or androgens if you do take the illegal substance route. Do it than seek help before you are busted, than you are sick and seeking help, not a druggie you may get out then as an option.
This is a last horrible option I would go with some of the above first. The Marrage is probably doomed and you will have given up a career in the navy, happens alot.
Good luck
2007-02-21 08:28:22 · answer #2 · answered by usamedic420 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a navy wife and your wife needs to accept that your in the navy and the sacrifices that come with it. I know it is stressful on all involved, my husband has been on three 8 month deployments in 3 years. It was upsetting but you have to accept that is your husband's job and move on from there. If she is having major issues with you being gone, then you need to contact the chaplain, to cousel her. Also, Fleet and Family services offers couseling, military wives groups for wives of men who are deployed so they can support and lean on eachother. The Navy and Marines Relief Society will offer help financially, as well as medically, and other aspects. Also, her joining a yahoo group or hotmail group of navy wives is also a great way for her to vent her frustation and get support from other wives going through the same situation. Right now your under obligation, and your not in a position to take care of your family, the only thing you should be worrying about is your job. You can't resolve most issues and conflicts while your away. Also, you can't make her feel better about you being gone so you need to show her there are alot of options out there to support her since your not in a position to do it yourself. The only other option to get out of the navy is if your in an extention, then you can contact the navy reserves to see if you can cancel the extention to join the navy reserves. This is a long shot. Good luck.
2007-02-21 08:47:40 · answer #3 · answered by breannejk 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get your wife and family WITH YOU THEN. No marriage or child can handle being apart even for a Master Chief. Whatever the reason was to stay apart needs to be reevaluated. If she is at home with her family she needs to get back with you, you are her family now. I have seen this situation a million times and it never ever works. Families that choose to stay behind at home while people like you go do your job on your own never survive. This is the real advice. You should have asked a real question the first time. Take some leave, go home and get your family back together at your duty station. Get an apartment close to base, don't get on base housing because base housing steals your money now that it is privatized. If you are stationed in San Diego, Norfolk or WA state you have the best medical care out there so whatever your medical issues are can be handled quicker and easier if you live near a Naval hospital. IF you are overseas and this stuff is going on back in the states without you, get your stuff together as far as evidence of a medical situation that needs you in person and put in a hardship chit that will get back to the closest command to wherever your family is so your family can rejoin you and get the help you need. Again, this is something you need to find a good senior person to talk to about. If your departmental chain of command sucks and your command has a Chaplain, get to the Chaplain and ask for their help getting you the attention you need to get the help you need. If you don't have a command Chaplain and your departmental chain of command still won't help you out, than put in a chit to talk to your CMC. If that doesn't work request Captains Mast. If the CO hears your needs and still nothing happens to fix your situation than you are in between a rock and a hard place. All families that are separated have a very hard time of it. MAKE SURE whatever your medical issues are are big enough to warrant such actions. IF your wife and daughter are just at home so she can be close to her family to make things easier on her day to day, get your wife squared away and with you where she needs to be. The military or any civilian job is impossible to do when the people you love are not with you regardless of the reasons. Find your situation in this answer and fix things. Getting out early will not help your family too much especially since you will be losing all of your great medical benefits. I'm a veteran myself married to my active duty husband, we just got bills for over one million dollars for the birth and delivery of our twin sons. Can you say owning your own business and buying your own medical insurance for about $1000 a month will take care of your needs if you have bad medical issues in your family as you are implying? It is a lot to deal with, but make the Navy work until you are done. Once you get to the right person to help you guys, you will find life to be much easier that what you are going through. The Navy doesn't have to be your life, but if what you are saying is true, it can be the help you need in the time being.
2007-02-21 08:38:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If things are that bad go to your LPO, CPO or even CO whoever you think would be the most receptive. Explain your situation and see if it may warrant a Hardship Discharge. I know someone who due to family problem was able to get all paperwork done in a matter of days. With the surge of enlistments post 9/11 there is a serious overmanning of a lot of rates and if you just so happen to fall in one of those you might be in luck and you can get an early release.
2007-02-21 08:24:16 · answer #5 · answered by jcnvybbe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kicked out of the Navy? That's not a question. What are you asking? If your asking how to get kicked out, you should forget it. You joined, fill your obligation. You say you have a bachelors degree, but you can't spell it. Your statement has several grammatical errors. Your marriage isn't working. You want to start a business? It's time you started doing things right. It all starts with you.
2007-02-21 08:30:25 · answer #6 · answered by rhymingron 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is someone at home really sick... if so try and get a harship assignment close to home! if not well, i think you have been in to long to receive a failure to adapt... thats how my sister got out, she just did the opposite of everything she was told, and wrote letters to her congressmen about anything wrong she saw that happened... and wala failure to adapt, and she got to go home! but you have to realize that on every job app when you get out they will ask about military service and your discharge... be prepared to explain why you got kicked out, many jobs will view it as a felony conviction! I would read your handbook with all the military laws and see what gets you kicked out, the Navy is overmanned so you might just get lucky!! start sucking at your job, and maybe they will tell you retrain or discharge... i really don't know much about the Navy, my sister was only in shortly the rest of my fam was air force or marines... you can always pose for playgirl in uniform that worked for that air force lady lol.. I know a lady that got out of the air force because she could never make weight! get fat, and make it seem like you can't loose.... and then they should let you out! its worth a try, and you don't have to be gay to do it!
2007-02-21 08:22:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a valid reason go to your chain of command. They may give you **** but stick to your guns. Other then that the only other way is disciplinary and you dont want to go that route. These medical reason you stated if they are valid enough get a physician to send you a letter stating your presence is necessary.
2007-02-21 08:30:21 · answer #8 · answered by epaq27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just smoke some weed. You'll enjoy it, and you'll be out in 30 days!
2015-09-28 05:57:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you it wont last anyway,2 years is nothing ,you can try talking to one of the chaplins see if he can help you find a way.sometime they are helpful.
2007-02-21 08:24:15 · answer #10 · answered by bruce j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋