Well. I am going out with this guy who is 16, and I am 14. Well. he just came over over the weekend. and we did some stuff. well nothing really serious. like we touched each other, but through clothing. and we kissed of course. but thats a given cause we are teens and that is what we do... anyway. I got a hickey on my neck, and my mom saw it last night and like FREAKED OUT. and now she like doesn't trust us, and I told her some of the stuff, but not all of it. Like i didn't lie when she asked me about stuff, but I didn't just come out and tell her everything. Some stuff I did. but whatever.
now I don't think she will let us go out, or see each other.. cause it is a long distance thing. And I really really love him. And he loves me. I know he does. But now my mom is like flipping out and doesn't trust us at all. and she thinks that i have no self respect cause he gave me a hickey, and I told her that I am not ready and that I know that... But anyway, my question is, what can I do to ear
2007-02-21 08:13:04 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
what i was saying is my question is what can i do to earn her trust back? without breaking up with him?
because I really am in love with him.. and I don't want us to break up.. and I mean we haven't been dating that long.. but I have known him for a while, and we fell in love before we started dating.. and I just don't want this whole thing to ruin my relationship with him... and and I just want my mom to trust me again...
2007-02-21 08:15:27 · update #1
What you should do is to go up to your mom and tell her that you're really sorry that you upset her. You should also tell her that you really love him and that you want her to be able to trust you. Also mention that you're 14 and that you're old enough to know when you have gone too far. You're mom should give you another chance. Try to tell her that you are really in love. It should work. Usually it's the mothers that keep and eye on you with boys to date and which ones are cute and nice.
2007-02-21 08:24:05 · answer #1 · answered by Krystiana K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In England, these are called Love Bites, or 'Shag Tags', because a hickey is given and accepted in the throes of passion, (when else would you willingly allow for you blood vessels to be bitten and burst?)
As a parent it is very worrying, because (and you might not like to hear this) your parents have obviously been in a similar situation (they have a daughter!).
The reason I mention this is so you can get a perspective as to the concern your mum has, what you need to do is find a mutual time and place where you can talk, tell your Mum you understand her concerns, tell her how you feel about your boyfriend, tell her how much knowledge you have in matters of sex education, (if you haven't much then ask her to tell you more at another time) how you feel about sex, how you feel about this particular incident, basically talk, a lot!
BUT you also must prepare yourself to listen to what your Mum has to say (some things you will definately not agree with), and the way she feels about the whole thing, don't loose your temper, if you don't understand then tell her that, spend time talking, and make sure you end with a hug!
The thing is Your Mum is protecting you and you really need to understand how she feels about the situation, she loves you hun, keep that in your thoughts all the time.
BTW, if you can also think of a compromise so that you can see your boyfriend again, then put that on the table too, she may not agree, but you can try.
All the best.
2007-02-21 08:34:45 · answer #2 · answered by Sobchak 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. Coming from a teen (considering the fact that I am one...) mom's and parents can be tough sometimes when it comes to boys. they know and tell you that "they're only doing thats best for you" when half of the time, you really feel like they don't understand you at all. I think you're basically old enough to tell whether you really like this boy or not, and when you're going out with someone older than you, you tend to do stuff that's more mature (like kissing, feeling, etc.) and any parent would be worried about that.
I think the best thing you can do is try talking to her again. explain everything you can on your side of the story, but also listen to what she has to say. you might not want to hear it, you might not understand it, but try to comprehend because it might be pretty important.
you have a right to see your boyfriend, and you know what is right and wrong. if you know what you were doing is wrong, maybe you should think about it.
at age 14 and a long distance relationship, there are plenty of other guys out there. but i know what it's like to FEEL like you're in love. and you want nothing to do with any other boy but the one..... i know exactly.
i guess the best thing to do is probably try talking to her, and explaining everything you can from your point of veiw. she should understand, and if she doesn't the best thing you could do is listen to her because you don't want to get into more trouble.
hope i helped atleast a little bit. ♥
hope all works out.
RESPONSE TO YOUR DETAILS--
i think earning someone's trust back takes time. show her that you and your boyfriend can have a good time without touching eachother and stuff (for a little while).. do some stuff around the house, show her that you're responsible.
also, when i was 13 i went out with someone a YEAR older than me. they all make you think they're in love with you... and make you fall in love with them.. when all they want to do is "make out" and that kind of stuff. im not saying that to be mean, im just speaking the truth. that's how it ALWAYS happpens. and all though you probably don't want to hear it, in time you will realize it's true. so just be careful
2007-02-21 08:20:40 · answer #3 · answered by ♥ aaalex. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uhm sweet imma teen 2 and im 14 and i had a 16 year old boyfriend and im going tell u rite now u need 2 watch out because if he was over your house doin this...that means he has no respect 4 ya mom or you he may lik you now but you really want 2 watch out because i have been in the same situation and the out come was noe to good NOW IM NOT SAYIN HE'S A BAD PERSON but i am sayin watch ya back and when it comes to your mom just give it time and she'll lightin up.....i had a hickey b4 from my 16yr old boys friend it was fun making it but now i regreat i even let him do it because that lowered me as a person......even though he was super cute
2007-02-21 08:21:31 · answer #4 · answered by mocha-fava 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have a no hickey rule, to begin with, Then next time there won't be too much of a fuss. She just wants her daughter to grow up to be the proper young lady, and if you act like one (not saying that you arn't) she'll probably regain your trust.
2007-02-21 08:18:15 · answer #5 · answered by Blanca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is probable having a nasty day, if she is like this each of the time perhaps you would possibly want to attempt helping her out some around the homestead you know do a load of cloths and fold them,sweep the floor,vacume or dirt merely take 10 min out of the day to do something efficient she will be able to be grateful i know im a mom and a spouse my youngsters are youthful so as that dont worry me that they dont help out reason they cant yet my hubby is lazy i might want to like it if he might want to easily bypass do the dishes and sweep the floor and do a sturdy job at it you know no longer 1/2 a*s! sturdy luck consisting of your mom
2016-10-17 08:26:00 · answer #6 · answered by pellenz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mom, I'm sorry I lost your trust in me. I promise that I won't get another hickey, and I won't sneak around behind your back.
Seriously, honey, you don't have to break up with this guy. Just be more adult about your actions with him, and she'll treat you like more of an adult.
2007-02-21 08:18:15 · answer #7 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good question,
not trying to turn you into a rebel, anyway, just dont talk to your mom about your boyfriend... kind of keep him out of her life. you and your boyfriend seem to have an awesome relationship... and you should keep it that way!!!
your mom was 14 once, she should know what its like to have a boyfriend and kiss and have fun. you should have a chance. i'm not making this up cuz i am 13 and my boyfriend is 15. so i have some experience. pleeease take my advice. trust me it works. good luck :-)
2007-02-21 08:25:05 · answer #8 · answered by Kaitlynn :] 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
14? sorry I agree with mom.. even thought you feel like you really really love this boy, there are many years ahead of you yet and real love is nothing like waht you think it is right now.
All mom is seeing right now is her little girl acting like a woman and no matter how you try to tell her that you know what you are doing...at 14 and letting a boy feel you up is one step short of teenage pregnany and your mother has a right NOT to trust you
and him being 16? girl (and YES...that IS what you are) you letting him do that is "ASKING and TELLING" him that you want more!!!!!!!!
2007-02-21 08:22:01 · answer #9 · answered by mom tree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well in my opinion your still too young to date so I'm not really helping you lol =P
you still have a long time for love. you guys can keep in contact and still talk, there's no way you'll be able to convince your mom to let you date if she said no already.
2007-02-21 08:18:36 · answer #10 · answered by kiki Dee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋