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HI out there!! Right brief history after the break up was left without the house and all the debts save for the beloved credit card and three hours a wk with daughter !! Love her deeply only reason gave up house was so she had roof over head!! Spent a year feelin sorry for self then started to get self back on feet... Two years later finally can see a light at end of tunnel YAY.... but what's this turns out to be CSA gettin my details and sayin pay up We agreed to me payin as and when because of lack of income self employed but not fiddlin!!! started business and just gettin it going!! Now the difficult bit she's a benefit fraud big time but to report her will hurt daughter to pay what want to will mean never havin a place of my own and livin with mum for forseeable future.. bought stuf and hen can but apparently they been classed as presents so don't count guess who said they were presents.... only now get more time with daughter as she got new chap suddenly for more time wonder why

2007-02-21 08:06:21 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Family

10 answers

First of all i'm glad you got yourself back on your feet, why don't you see if you can have more time then 3 hours a week with your daughter if you pay maintenance then you are entitled to see her more. The CSA are twats but if they wasn't there then i wouldn't have had any money from my ex for our daughter, i find that the CSA are better then they were a few years ago. I have two children with different partners and one of them agrees to pay me money every week himself so we have nothing to do with the CSA what we do is when he gives me money we both sign a book and he agrees to whatever i want and provides money for school trips and things. It sounds to me that your wife has forwarded your name to the CSA jealously over you having your own business, If you don't want to grass on your misses about her being a fraud let her carry on its her problem not yours you worry about yourself and daughter now not her(she will get caught ). As for the bit where you say that you buying things for her were classed as presents i'm afraid your right but never mind its nice to think you care for your daughter. The CSA should send you a form to fill in so you can wright down all your living exspenses and they will calculate from there how much you are due to pay and if you don't agree with it appeal against. I hope you get this sorted out and be happy and enjoy your time with your little one as they don't stay small forever :)

2007-02-22 01:57:37 · answer #1 · answered by ANNE G 2 · 0 0

If your ex is fiddling then I would suggest you tell the apprpriate people. Your daughter wont be losing out. If your ex receives what she should receive she will be doing no worse than other people that manage on wht they should manage on their own.

I worked full time, bought my own house and car and received £15.00 per week fro my ex and I managed!

P.S. The chap who stated the CSA have no authority - he is wrong. I had my payments deducted from my ex's wages as he would not pay properly. Just pay! YOur duaghter will be hurt when she finds out if you dont and that is what matters at the end of theday - not the fued with your ex!

As long as you play your part and pay for your daughter too! And i think 3 hours a week is no where near enough. Also just as a note to mention, you do get an allowance from the CSA if you have your daughter overnight, which i would have thought would be in yours and duaghters interest but I am not talking financially!

2007-02-21 08:28:21 · answer #2 · answered by peachy 3 · 0 0

for a start it does not matter what your ex partner is doing with her life the thing you have to remember is that she is bringing your daughter up so you should be supporting her. I have a six year old daughter and been fighting for maintenance for the last 6 years have not received a penny. He is in debt for 13,500 pound with the csa and still not willing to pay. And now they are on about with the new csa system about wiping some of the debt off so dont worry you most probably will get away with it but you still have the knowledge of knowing that as a father you are not doing what you suppose to do and i will let your conscience deal with that

2007-02-22 22:16:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

An EXCELLENT tip from someone who knows and has been through it.
The CSA cant do jack.
They have no legal empowerment to do anything to MAKE you pay at all. They are there as a mediator between parties effectively.
Tell 'em your gonna do things your way and that you dont need or want there advice.
You hear of stories of people who have had there salary garnished etc, yea, that's true, IF THEY OWE 10'S OF1000's and have never made any effort, and even then it takes years for the court system to get involved, through her solicitor i might add, not the CSA.
So, summarising, tell the CSA to get knotted, and do things the way you want.
And on the matter of her being a benefit fraud. If you tell, she'll be getting no money, no house and you'll find it easier to get your daughter. I'm sure she'd do it to you. GOOD LUCK MATE !!!!

2007-02-21 08:19:50 · answer #4 · answered by trickyrick32 4 · 1 1

Sorry, but 3 hours ain't enough. You say you are back on your feet now so go for shared care. This way you have more time with your daughter n she can't do you for support. If she don't agree with this, grass her for the benefit fraud, cos she is going to get found out eventually and then your daughter will lose out more when her mother has to pay all the money back or even go to prison.

2007-02-21 08:13:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

Mmm, way I see it is that she is already on the fiddle getting more than she's entitled to.... it's win, win for her, eh? CSA have probably set the amount you have to pay based on the income they think she has, rather than what she is actually enjoying. So unfair.

Can't you appeal the CSA decision? Go to a lawyer and get some advice, maybe he'll be able to lend some weight to your negotiations with them.

2007-02-21 08:16:18 · answer #6 · answered by GoldieMeg 3 · 0 0

Hi,i see your point from both sides,my ex has never paid a thing towards my 8 year old,and he works. My husband gets letters too from the csa, he has a son who's mother is on benefits, and we cant afford to pay anything cos he's paying out of his wages towards my sons upkeep.We just been ignoring the letters and hoping for the best. The CSA is a compleate sham,bit like tax credits,people should be allowed to make good lives for themselves if they're work,like yourself.

2007-02-21 08:16:16 · answer #7 · answered by heebygeeby 4 · 0 2

the CSA do not have the capacity to listen, the fail to get the dosh off the wasters but harras the stuggling. Get advice from citizens advice!

2007-02-21 08:29:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

problem with the csa is it puts the thumbscrews on people that cant afford to pay and gloss over the ones that can

2007-02-21 10:25:43 · answer #9 · answered by arniesmum 5 · 0 0

Don't be a dead-beat dad. Pay the child support!

2007-02-21 08:10:41 · answer #10 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1 3

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