His parents are deceased and we dont' have much money in the bank. My parents are pretty well off and have no problem paying for the entire wedding. However I want a huge over the top wedding I always dreamed of a huge wedding. However due to the fact that my soon to be spouce has no parents to help cover the cost an we dont' have much money, should I downgrade my dream wedding? Or should we wait a few years and save money so I can have that huge wedding? Or should I put some stuff on a credit card? Or should i have my parents pay for every thing and we will cover the cost of the honeymoon. By Fiance wants a small wedding because he feels bad because he won't be paying for harldy any thing, and does not want my parents paying for every thing. Yet we have no money to pay for stuff.HELP!!
The wedding will be in MN !
2007-02-21 07:51:04 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well since you and your fiance do not have a lot of money I would go middle ground. Let your parents pay for the wedding if they are so willing, but scale back the grandiose notion you have. Weddings aren't important, marriages are. You want a house right? If your soon-to-be husband can't afford one, then instead of spending 20+ grand on a wedding, let your parents give you the down payment on the house and have a small wedding and a nice honeymoon instead. We all have dreams and desires that we want - and that's okay - but being an adult means making choices that are not easy and doing what's best because just getting what you want is for babies. Congrats and good luck.
2007-02-21 08:02:44 · answer #1 · answered by Brandy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The reality is that the wedding isn't about the party (although, unfortunately that's what it seems like these days)--it's about committing to spend your life with the person you love.
Be it a big wedding or a small wedding, it will be the best day of your life.
Let me put it in perspective--it is a five hour event. Why break the bank on five hours?
Scale your wedding back. Think about what it is about the big over the top wedding that you really want, and then see what it is you can do without. Have you always imagined a designer dress or is it always the flowers that stand out in your mind? Do you want a breathtaking reception venue or do you want a show-stopping food selection? Think about your dream wedding and realize what it is that you really want--then choose that one thing to spend a lot of money on and scale back on the rest.
If it's flowers that you are crazy about, spend a lot on flowers and cut back on the other things--like find a reasonably priced band, photographer, reception hall & dress.
If it's a designer wedding dress you want, then put your money there. (Although, I can tell you from first-hand experience that you can get an AMAZING, beautiful dress for less than $1000--and it really will look designer. I have looked at A LOT of dresses and to be quite honest, there is nothing that clearly sets apart a $5000 dress from a $1000 dress. Yes, there are some less expensive dresses that look cheap, but there are a lot of less expensive dresses that look beautiful, regal and expensive!)
Choose what matters most to you and then scale down the rest.
Remember, the wedding is about the marriage, not about wowing the neighbors or showing up your friends who already got married. Don't blow your inheritance on a 5 hour party!
Good luck and congrats on your impending wedding!
2007-02-21 20:10:36 · answer #2 · answered by ms. teacher ft 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bride and groom are responsible for paying for the entire wedding and honeymoon, unless financial assistance is offered. If your parents haven't offered to pay for anything, then don't count on them to, and most certainly don't ask them.
I personally think you really need to scale down your plans. It's one thing to go overboard when you're paying, but when someone else is footing the bill it's just downright rude. But whatever you do, don't use credit! Debt is not a good foundation for marriage.
Also, remember that marriage is a compromise, and that this wedding is NOT just your day. It's your groom's too. If he wants a small wedding, you need to respect those wishes. There is a middle ground between his small wedding and your grand one.
2007-02-21 15:59:05 · answer #3 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe if your parents did pay for the whole thing, you can offer to pay them back over time since you don't have a lot of money at the moment. Then your fiance will probably feel better about having a big wedding.
2007-02-21 16:39:45 · answer #4 · answered by Beffy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe it is customary for the bride's family to ante up for the wedding festivities. The groom's family usually foots the bill for the after rehearsal dinner, but since it is a party of friends, you could just ask them over to his house and have a party instead. The bride's maids could bring the food. Talk to him about this and come to an agreement together that suits you both. You could always renew your vows later and put on a really fantastic event when you have more reliable finances, but don't cut your special day too short. It is still supposed to be special!
2007-02-21 16:04:55 · answer #5 · answered by froggsfriend 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't downgrade your dream wedding... you would end up regretting it later in life. I saved a lot on my wedding by doing some things myself. I went to Craft stores (like Michael's) and checked out their wedding isle. I ended up getting a bunch of good ideas that saved money. Also, I attended a few Bridal shows. Most bridal shows will have contests to win free services or products... they also have vendors competing for your business (so it is a good place to get great deals).
2007-02-21 16:07:57 · answer #6 · answered by xoclipox 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but I've never dreamed of a wedding. I've dreamed about the perfect guy to wed, but not about the wedding. I would prefer something simple, yet sweet that's under $5,000. You sound a little spoiled, considering your parents are rich. The wedding is important, but it's not everything.
And yes, I am about to start planning my own wedding. I want it to be special, but I also want it to be practical. Just as long as we get married under God with our family and friends, it's fine by me.
2007-02-21 18:57:54 · answer #7 · answered by New mommy 2010! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a good relationship with your parents, and they don't mind paying for your "dream wedding" - go for it. They are your parents, and will be delighted to see you happy. If they are not planning to pay for your wedding - do what you can, have a smaller ceremony. I wouldn't recommend postponing the wedding for *too* long - smith the iron while it's hot.
2007-02-21 16:15:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not put your wedding on a credit card!
downgrade your plans, you can have a wonderful wedding on a budget. let your parents pay for the wedding and you and your fiance pay for the honeymoon.
2007-02-21 16:00:08 · answer #9 · answered by TN girl 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your parents want to pay for it let them and have a wonderful time at the wedding....
2007-02-21 16:36:57 · answer #10 · answered by JenS12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋