my 13 y.o.white daughter talks and "acts" black at school but not at home????

Answer 1

I have read all the other comments and there is some good advice on this page. But lets get real. Everyone knows what is meant by acting black. If someone lables something black or white and it offends you then maybe you need to look in the mirror and see how you act. Now to the Parent of the 13 y.o daughter, My guess is that most of her friends in school are black and she is fitting in. Some people are born leaders it sounds she may be a follower. Try to biuld her confidence up and she will be herself and will hold her head up high and people will try to be like her.

Answer 2

Every kid her age goes through some crazy phases, it could be worse, and we, as parents, have to sort of grin and bear it, hoping they'll decide to stop trying to look as ridiculous as they do.

The thing we have to remember is this: EVERY OTHER 13 YEAR OLD AT HER SCHOOL IS DOING THE EXACT SAME THING in some way or another, whether they're latching onto the emo look, the goth look, the thug look, etc.

I would most definitely NOT choose to tell her anything about acting her race as others have suggested thus far, as it may plant a seed in her that makes her differentiate races according to their behaviors instead of what they are... simply races. It also may upset her and in turn... get her to act out more with her appearance, and I'm sure you wouldn't want to do either of those things to your child.

I think that honestly, you may want to consider letting this slide for a while. If she isnt dressing or "acting" the same way at home as she is at school, then she obviously hasnt decided that this is who she is, and will most likely move on to the next big thing her friends and her decide is hot. She also, obviously respects you as her parent greatly, by not bringing her silliness into your home. I would try to focus on that :)

Answer 3

Probably just to fit in. You know this is becoming cool to act as you call it "black", white kids and black kids even call each other the N word without a problem. She probably will grow out of it soon, but then again you might just have to be prepared for a black son-in-law in the future, and beautiful little mixed black grandbabies.

Answer 4

Maybe she thinks it's cool to act that way & she knows she won't be able to get away with it at home. You need to tell her it's not cool & it's not who she is & she needs to be herself, because people will like her for who she is & not who she isn't. Give her a big hug after you talk to her!!! The teen years are not so easy for kids today.

Answer 5

If she's acting differently at home than she is at school, it means she's trying to fit in, that's all. It's perfectly normal at her age and I think we've all been guilty of that at one time or another. Just be sure to remind her that she's just fine the way she is and she'll be happier with herself in the long run if she's true to herself.

Answer 6

I am curious as to what your definition of "acting black" is. A lot of people make the assumption that acing a certain way is based in race when it is based on environment. She is acting the way she deems as being "cool" around her peers. Instead of the following the advise of the last poster and tell your daughter that she is not black and tell her to act the way her race dictates, maybe you should sit her down and let her know she needs to be herself. As a parent, you should already know that what is portrayed in the media is not reality and to label her as acting "black" buys into that prejudice that we really should be trying to eradicate.

Answer 7

Being a black woman, I would love to know how one "acts" black. In ay event she is trying to fit in or obviously be something she isn't with the thought she will be more popular. Let her know that she will go much farther in life if she would be herself. When you act fake....you get fake!! Its not worth it.

Answer 8

First of all, what is acting "Black" ? I am offended by that because you cannot act a race. If you mean "gangsta" or "thug" or "street" then use those terms. She probably just is so she can fit in and be cool.

Answer 9

Peer pressure. She wants to confrom to other students, either her friends or the popular ones, so she acts this way to gain acceptance. There's no need for this at home, though, so she drops the act.

Answer 10

Sit down with her and calmly explain to her she is not black therefore she needs to stop acting that way. It only makes her look like an idiot. One day she will understand.