When my grandad died i kind of blamed my self, no one in my family knows this (or t least they didnt until now) but i was the last person in the family to see him that day. I knew there was something wrong, his voice wasn't the same, he was pailer than he was usually and this is going to sound really weird but his smile wasnt the same, as meaningful as it normally was. I knew he was going to the hospital and at the time i thought it ws just him worrying about what the doctor was going to say because he was supposed to be giving up smoking (it didnt work that well) but when i was told instead of feeling sorrow (i felt that too) i felt guilty like i could have done something or i should have realised that there was something wrong.
2007-02-21 07:41:22 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
There is absolutely nothing you could have done, aside from anything else, he was already going to the hospital, if there was anything that could have been done they would have found it. Please don't blame yourself, guilt is a natural reaction to death, but don't believe it. Think of it this way: Would your Grandad WANT you to blame yourself? I doubt it very much. Don't allow guilt to spoil your great memories.
Grieve by all means, but comfort yourself with the good memories, not this last one. I know its easier said than done, but you will get through this, ok? All the Best to you and your family.
2007-02-21 07:49:17 · answer #1 · answered by lululaluau 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello iam sorry your grandad died you cannot blame yourself ,sometimes when people are near to the end there facial expressions react different some smile funny some are sad some think nice things or actually see people who they are going to join. your grandad was going to give up smoking but didnt manage to do it well look at it this way at least he passed away doing the thing he like doing having a smoke and he had you close by before he passed away you was the last person he saw so he will have waited until you had gone then passed away piecefully dont blame yourself if your grandad was here today he would say the same to you he wouldnt want you to be sad think of the good times smile and keep your chin up that is what your grandad would have wanted i hope this may have helped you .you could always ring a breavement councillor to chat good luck chin up and smile
2007-02-21 20:00:15 · answer #2 · answered by dawn l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, there's no way you could have known or done anything differently. It sounds like your Granddad didn't even know for sure. So be kind to yourself and allow yourself to see that you have no reason at all to blame yourself. It's just how things happen sometimes. Just remember the love you had for one another, and be glad of it.
2007-02-21 16:07:03 · answer #3 · answered by Jann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may feel bad, but you should also feel relieved that he did not die in a lot of pain. After all, he smiled at you and you got to see and talk to him one last time. Do not feel guilt for something that is inevitable. Just be glad that he is in a better place, looking down on you.
2007-02-21 15:48:52 · answer #4 · answered by Meredith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is now way you could have helped him with his medical condition but you did help him in another way you were there visiting him, this would have meant a lot to him.
Stop blaming yourself, think of the good times you had with your grandfather, and that now he has to suffer no more, and is at peace.
If you miss him talk to him when you visit his grave.
2007-02-23 11:58:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't blame yourself the doctors knew what they were doing but sometimes there's just a persons time to go and theres nothing you can do.
2007-02-21 19:13:10 · answer #6 · answered by 1.2..3...Boo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you couldnt have done anything, if it was his time it was his time, but i can see where you are coming from, when my mum in law passed suddenly i kept thinking if only i had called her that morning like i normally did but somthing said leave it til later, of course there was no later i dont feel like that now but i did at the time, hope you feel better soon. xx
2007-02-21 15:51:07 · answer #7 · answered by yecart19710 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he was going to the hospital anyway it was the medics job to sort him out. So yes , you could have done something but no more than get him to the hospital - which is where he was going anyway - so no.
2007-02-21 15:47:31 · answer #8 · answered by D B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please dont blame yourself, he wouldnt hey? we all think there is something more we could of done or said, but it was meant to be and theres nothing on earth you could of done to change that. just have your happy memories, and he will always be in your heart. i send a hug !!!!!!!!!
2007-02-21 17:18:14 · answer #9 · answered by lynette_shaw2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋