I had my bachelor party last weekend and my best friend showed up the next day with a camera in hand and showed all the photos to my fiance while explaining the nights events. Though most of the night was uneventful, there were four photos where the best man had arranged for a waitress or random girls to sit on my lap or sit next to me while a picture was taken. In the last photo, as we stood up to leave, the waitress gave me a kiss on the cheek and a hug. These photos were not well received by my fiance' and she is now threatening to postpone the wedding. I had no intention of hurting her and have been surprised with how much my actions have caused her grief. I have apologized to her for hurting her but it hasn't helped. Her father was at the bachelor party and from confirmed to her that the photos were innocent fun. Any advice on how to convince my fiance' that it was innocent bachelor party fun and not what to expect in the future?
2007-02-21 07:28:32 · 18 answers · asked by In Hot Water 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
1. I think everyone is being tough on the friend.
2. You didnt do anything wrong. If she doesnt even take her fathers word for it then theres not much hope.
3. She obviously doesnt trust you at all.
4. Give her time. Youve done all you can do. Shell either get over it or she wont. What you did isnt that big of a deal so if she postpones the wedding then she is probably using it to cover up the real reason she wants to postpone it.
Good luck.. sounds like youll need it.
2007-02-21 08:36:29 · answer #1 · answered by PenguinsWife 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but she sounds like a selfish, jealous nut. You didn't hurt her, she hurst herself by overreacting to a completely innocent moment. If one of her bridesmaids hugs you at the wedding, is she going to lose it then and want an annullment? For pete's sake, her own FATHER confirmed it was innocent.
If she doesn't come around (and quick), I would say a postponement or cancellation would be the best thing that could happen to you. She obviously doesn't trust you in the least and that is absolutely no way to start a marriage or live for the rest of your life. Good luck.
2007-02-21 07:52:56 · answer #2 · answered by stseukn 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry, but she is being ridiculous. If she can't trust you then why is she marrying you? Trust is a HUGE part of a relationship. Guys flirt with girls at bachelor parties--who cares?
I honestly don't know how you can convince her that it was all in good fun and completely innocent. She has to get over it and trust you herself.
Maybe she's stressed out b/c your wedding is soon, maybe she's having cold feet, maybe she's just being jealous. I don't know what the reasoning is behind the freak out, but that's what you need to figure out.
Good luck.
2007-02-21 12:23:19 · answer #3 · answered by ms. teacher ft 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why is your fiancee so insecure? Have you given her reason before?
A marriage is built on trust, plain & simple. You marry a person because you have faith in them. When that isn't there, you don't have much of a relationship. Maybe you've had 'red flags' in the past but have been blinded to them. This might be a r-e-a-l eye opener.
I have had to deal with that feeling of insecurity. I am with a musician; well a drummer. :)
But I trust him more than I would trust my own father!
You'd better give this some careful & prayerful consideration.
2007-02-21 08:11:20 · answer #4 · answered by weddrev 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dude first rules of bachelor parties - NO CAMERAS
Nothing good can come from it
Just give it time. With her Dad to back you up she will come to here senses. This is a power play on her part. I'm sure here Dad wouldn't be to happy with a postponement especially if her only reason is those photos.
2007-02-21 07:36:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Right before the wedding is not the time for your best man to be making your fiancee feel insecure. She's likely on pins and needles with last minute arrangements, and the last thing she wanted to see was you with other females. Bachelor parties with women attendees have extraordinarily bad reputations attached to them, so she was likely nervous about the party even before the pictures were presented to her.
Poor judgement on your part to participate in pictures that could upset her, poorer judgement on your best man's part for making a point to show them to her before the wedding. Many thanks should go from you to your future father in law for helping you out and sticking up for you with his daughter.
Just keep a calm head, give her reassurance that you love her and only her, etc. The stress of the wedding can blow things all out of proportion in no time flat, so try to let it blow over a bit. Talk it over and make her feel better, but don't dwell too much on it if you can help it.
2007-02-21 07:36:06 · answer #6 · answered by Jarien 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately, I think you have done the right thing up to now. Considering it was a bachelor party and that is ALL that happened - she should consider herself lucky to have found such a loving and devoted man! If you have been honest with her and she still doesn't believe you then you may want to have a heart-to-heart with her... if you can't trust your spouse (or they can't trust you) then that is something you should know before the marriage. Good luck working things out.
2007-02-21 07:42:31 · answer #7 · answered by Leah 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First, get rid of the "best friend", no real friend would have done that to you. He should have known that your fiance wouldn't take to kindly to the pictures (I wonder if he secretly wants her or he wants you to fail). Second, all you can do is explain to your fiancee that it was a bachelor party, intended for your last night of "freedom" and that nothing that happened the night before has affected how you feel about her. It was all clean fun. Really, I don't know why women get upset about what happens at the bachelor party. Even if my fiance did another woman (with protection of course) I wouldn't be mad, I wouldn't necessarily want to know the details, but it's his last night to fling. A lot of women would call me crazy or whatever, but that is how I seriously feel. Good luck.
2007-02-21 07:54:18 · answer #8 · answered by Brandy 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I think that what you did was honorable. Some women are totally fine with their husbands going to strip clubs, your fiance's sister MIGHT be one of them. Still, I would tell your fiance to mention it to her. Honestly, she has a right to know. Don't make her look like a fool.
2016-05-24 03:46:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll play along.
Your bride-to-be obviously doesn't trust you AT ALL. It's good that she's postponing the wedding, or you'd have a hard life of her constant distrust. Why would you want to marry that?
2007-02-21 07:36:01 · answer #10 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋