Need some advice... me and my girl of 8 years have had a great relationship up until about 3 weeks ago when I was suspecting she was cheating on me, when she needed some help from a guy to get on the police department. She said all it was, was him helping her and nothing else. Yet, she was hiding text messages, calls, and emails.
Well everything went back to normal and I am fine. But I brought it up tonight, I told her just to tell me. I guess we took a "break" about 2 weeks ago and thats when I was suspecting maybe she messed around with him. She swore up and down she didn't.
Tonight, I said jokingly, "if we broke up, after 9 years, and the next day I had sex with another woman, would you be mad?" She said, "no, I would have no right to be, we weren't together." Keep in mind the few day break we took about 2 weeks ago.
Anyway, I know it comes down to trust, but she's done this before.
What do you all think??
2007-02-21 07:16:23 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you meant she's cheated before, then you have every reason to doubt her this time.
2007-02-21 07:22:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you still with her if there is no trust? If she has done this before why are you still with her? Don't allow yourself to be used as a doormat. You don't need this, eventually you will find someone who will have all that you need and want. Don't settle for the mind games. Yes 8 years is a long time but not having trust in the relationship is even worse.
2007-02-21 15:25:05 · answer #2 · answered by uneekqamar2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two have been together for 8 years and you haven't married her. To me that says you're not commited and are just in it for 'while it's fun'. Maybe it seems that way to her too.
Also how do you know shes hiding emails,texts etc? Do you have her email passwords and do you look into her phone messages?
It's very posible that when you two 'took a break' she slept with someone else. But you didn't exactly put a ring on her finger-commiting her Just to You.
I say propose or move on.
2007-02-21 15:31:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok..hiding text messages, calls, and e-mails. If that's not a RED FLAG I don't know what is.
And hey, personally I think she slept with him. Or had some kind of intimate encounter. I've been THAT girl. BUT on the other hand I do believe people can change. Not as often as we would like but people do change. What it boils down to is trust. If you don't have it for her then you can kiss your relationship BUH BYE! I would hate to be with someone and constantly be thinking about what if she did this? What if she did that? And play out scenarios in my mind of what could have happened. I know it's a ton of years invested in eachother but you have to seriously weigh out pros and cons. And ask yourself, can I see myself dealing with this for the rest of my life??? (or for however long you plan on staying together)
2007-02-21 15:24:40 · answer #4 · answered by glittereyedg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to move on. 8 years and you don't sound like you trust her. Maybe she'd ready to move on and just wants to find a way out of the relationship.
2007-02-21 15:30:06 · answer #5 · answered by preppy624 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you hae been together or 8 or 9 years and you still have not married her than I don't think you really trust her.
Go find someone!!!
2007-02-21 15:20:33 · answer #6 · answered by bookworm87 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Communication could be the key(Ask her advice and telle her that you are worried for both(or only for you?) and explain her why).
Respect, trust should be present and don't forget love (each other) ;-)
2007-02-24 04:20:26 · answer #7 · answered by Marco 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go to conclusions too quick. If you love her, you should be able to trust her. Keep your eyes open, just in case.
2007-02-21 15:22:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're micro analyzing I think. If you're happy and she's happy and you trust her, there's nothing to worry about. Don't worry too much about it.
2007-02-21 15:20:29 · answer #9 · answered by Jesus Christ Track Starrr 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think any grl or guy ur with that ur serious with them and their not commited then u might as well give up
2007-02-21 15:21:33 · answer #10 · answered by valeri 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋