before you slowly back away towards the door? What number basically freaks you out?
For example, I dated this one guy who reluctantly admitted to having slept with around 40 women, most being one night stands. We were both 23 or 24 at the time and that was a red flag to me, causing me to run for the hills.
2007-02-21 07:01:48 · 32 answers · asked by kj 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
People you don't have to be rude, we had dated for about a month before I asked him. To me, it's important to know how many people the person has slept with...for your own protection.
Needless to say that he also admitted to having a disease and committment issues (that's the reason for the high number of one night stands)
The past can tell you alot about a person, so I think it's important. Sorry.
2007-02-21 07:10:17 · update #1
It only takes 1 person to infect you with an STD or HIV/AIDS virus. You are right to be concerned with the numbers, especially if unprotected sex is involved.Whether you wait for a few months to have sex or not, diseases to not fade with age. A person may look healthy enough, you don't know what evil is lurking underneath that facade. "Minding Your Own Business" will not protect you. Be smart and look after numero uno! There'd be a lot less disease in the world to worry about if people were more concerned... stay on the right track and have a safe, healthy life.
2007-02-21 07:11:40 · answer #1 · answered by nuttin'fancy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well, i think peoples past mistakes make them the person they are today. the thing is that they learn from their mistakes and become a better person for it. as for your question and example, he was honest to you so why should it matter how many people he's slept with. honesty in my book is the best quality in a person. why should it matter to you who he slept with when he was younger. he was probably too immature to understand what it meant. the real question is why would you ask something if you didn't want an honest answer? i'm sure you were expecting him to lie and say 3 or 4, but he told you the truth and you turned him away because of it. if he would have lied to you about it and you found out about it later you would still have run for the hills. your standards are way too high for any man. theres no pleasing you huh? if he had slept with 10 girls multiple times would you have still run for the hills? probably. now he'll be thinking that the truth is bad and probably never tell anyone the truth. also men have a tendency to lie about how many people they sleep with too make them seem more experienced or more inexperienced. it's typical of them to not want to seem like a player or a person who uses people. or to their friends they say more to make them seem more manly. you judge way too hard... give them a chance to prove to you what kind of person they are. he may have been a really nice guy who was used a lot by women in his younger years. would you hold it against a a man who was forced into prostitution during his teens by a family member? i think not. lower your standards and good luck later on in life.
2007-02-21 07:18:23 · answer #2 · answered by demonswt88 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the person's age. I'd accept a person having around 1 relationship per year from the age of 16. i.e. If the guy is 30 now, I can accept that he had 14 ex-girlfriends max.
One night stand is always no-no for me. New studies show that STD makes people more promiscuous. You "run for the hills" was probably the right thing to do.
2007-02-21 07:13:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
These days it is hard to find a virgin good luck on that..... For me i would have to say no more then 10 if a guy or women has been with more then that number i would have to guess that i would be the next mark on he's bed post. When i was 19 i dated a guy for a long time before having sex with him after i did i found out that i was number 75 good thing i used protection with him. After that i watch my p&Q with anybody i dated, Now i am married to a great person he told me he has only been with 4 people in his life he is 33
2007-02-21 07:13:27 · answer #4 · answered by ebabybrown 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't think you can judge a person by how many partners they have had. It is a judgment on the person they are. Some men and women make mistakes along the way though 40 is a lot and probably not a good basis for the question no one is perfect. Now if they have not learned the error of there ways and think that sleeping around is acceptable than that's a problem but as long as they are hones committed to you and only you then this is a question that when asked is only going to lead to trouble
2007-02-21 07:07:23 · answer #5 · answered by d_ponter 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I really don't think that it matters. Now, on the other hand, you should at least make sure the person is clean before you sleep with them even if you are using a condom or other means of protection. There are so many STD's out there and you don't want to take any chances. Once you have one it is there and doesn't go away!
2007-02-21 07:13:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were so right to run for the hills. I would be scared to even kiss a guy who has slept with that many people. The number that freaks me out the most is anything over 10.
2007-02-21 07:08:50 · answer #7 · answered by beyondthelimit 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is more of a personal question, you have to figure that out on your own. however the more people he's slept with the great risk you have of getting an STD. You will even increase your risk of getting cervical cancer. I'm a medical student, trust me...i know what I'm talking about. I'm just saying be careful. I can't tell you how many partners your boyfriend had, I can just tell you that you have to make this desicion on your own.
Good Luck
2007-02-21 07:14:18 · answer #8 · answered by sugar & spice 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You were right to run. I mean someone has to be pretty unstable to go out with so many people for such a short period of time. Not even thinking the "user of women" factor or problem of STDs here.
Anyway, I think about 3-4 significant dating relationships is about my limit. Anything more tells me he is either inmature or doesn't know what he wants in a relationship. Good luck.
2007-02-21 07:09:56 · answer #9 · answered by fenhongjiatu1 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
basically i would get to know the guy personally before i slept with him. i did make the mistake asking my ex how many he has been with and i always had a bad opinion about him just based on how many girls he was with. so as far as my fiance now i will not ever ask b/c i just don't want to know and i never want to judge him in that way...
2007-02-21 07:08:38 · answer #10 · answered by mmh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋