i'm christian, fiance is agnostic?

Question

honest answers only, please.

when i met my fiance two years ago, he claimed to be a christian. over these two years, i just found out, he's lost his faith and now considers himself agnostic - he believes in A deity, but not necessarily a certain one. he just believes there's something out there.

i am hurt by this. my faith and beliefs are very important to me, and i would like some advice. do i leave him alone about this? i don't want to 'preach' to him and irritate him. should i try and take him with me to church? i want to share this with him, since it is a big factor in my life, and hopefuly help him regain his faith.

Serious answers from all faiths are welcomed. thanks.

Answer 1

I am agnostic. My wife is Christian. We LOVE each other so very much. We also actively have to be tolerant of others beliefs ( or lack of ) in order to stay compatible. When it was just us getting along was easy. After we had our 2 children there has been much more stress. I feel that teaching Faith in the form of Facts to children is the biggest evil in the world. She has the Christian view ( and I must admit , I don't get it ) and like taking the children to church. We agreed that she could take the children to church and she would say nothing while I taught them the scientific view of the world around us , and where my morals come from. So far things are still just awesome. If your not willing to compromise when it comes to your Future children ( if you have any ) then I would advise you to spend a lot of time with your fiance talking about these hot-button issues before marriage.

I hope this helps.

Answer 2

You should sort things out before committing into marriage..
You say that you're a Christian, Marriage is a sacred thing.. If he don't believe in it as you do I don't think that the future ahead would be brighter, not for you nor to him.

I don't think that you can just "leave" a matter like this in the shade and accept it as a matter of personal beliefs, think of the matter when you would be making up a family, how do you want things to be going for them ? You shouldn't "preach" him but you have to fix this issue as it's serious enough. If he has changed his faith in a critical matter like that, why has it happened, and moreover, wouldn't he do that in other aspects later on ?..
It is His and Your choice, that's what's all about marriage after all.
You should be more open on this matter.. if you really can't do that much then you need more time to know each other.

Answer 3

You are very fortunate to have found out Before marriage. The Bible speak against UNYOKED marriiages, relationships, and for a very good reason. You cannot force your faith on him. He may never pull the blinders off his eyes, which will have spiritual complications for you. You may never lose your faith, even if you do marry him and he remains agnostic, but why would you want that for your possible future childern or for yourself?. Love does not conquer all, contrary to popular belief. Only God's Love conquers sin, death etc!! Try to share your relationship with Jesus with him, go to a christian counselor together, if he is willing, but don't marry an unyoked partner.!! God knows what's best for you, is why the Bible speaks of specific sins, so we can know right from wrong. What matters in the end, as you know is your eternal destiny. Pray to God for this and read about the Unyoked marriages, relationships. God Bless!

Answer 4

I have been through this at one point and to be honest, it makes it a great deal harder on your relationship together if he is of different faith or belief.
However, part of that depends on how he handles all that as you remain active in your faith, going to church or whatever.

Best to do is really have close talk with him but maybe first write down the most important questions you would want to ask him. Of course this can affect your entire life in the future, children, etc. Then ask him the many things and really talk to find out. It may be best if you not continue the relationship but it really depends on how that talk works out.
Have an objective third party or family member there to talk to and give honest objective opinion to help you consider things you might not have thought of. - but that's just my opinion

Answer 5

The Bible speaks against a Christian marrying a non-believer. It will cause problems down the road. I married one and we have many problems.

I can't speak on this subject enough and I wish there were some words that I could say to make you change your mind about the marriage. Unfortunately, we often do things, thinking that it will be alright and "love" will get us through the hard times. But, that fluttery love feeling wears off and you may be left with unhappiness. I can't speak for all marriages of this sort, but I believe that those who are strong in their faith often clash with those who have no faith.

You will make your own decision, but I hope that you will at least consider it well, read scripture, and find a pastor who will counsel you pre-marriage.

Answer 6

you should never force religion on anybody, this is a mistake too many christians make.

however you do have a right to your beliefs yourself but you need to think about this and discuss your relationship and your future together.

For instance, how will you raise your children?

Will he be upset if you "force" them to go to church (by force I mean that in order to expose a child- it is certainly necessary to push them to do something, otherwise they will just have thier butt planted in front of pokemon or barney all day). You need to discuss what level of religion and christianity is acceptable when raising the kids. And stick to it.

I think you forcing him to go will destroy the relationship, unless he has no backbone, in which case he is not a man and you would then be engaging in conduct that christianity opposes.

All kidding aside. it is a serious issue and you need to decide how you feel about it, and if you still want to marry him.

Personally while I myself am agnostic/athiest, religion is a major factor in a relationship for some people both spiritually and culturally (anyone who ignores that fact is an idiot) and if the issue is such a crucial issue to you, and you both don't face it, come to a compromise and live with it, you will likely end up just getting divorced down the road anyway- or bieng miserable.

Answer 7

The best relations are not only physical, but they happen on three aspects: the physical, the intellectual and the spiritual. If one of these elements is missing from the relationship, then one must think about the importance of each aspect as it applies to yourself and to your fiance. Physical attraction often brings people together, respect of each other's intelligence contributes to the bond and there must also be a spiritual bonding in order for a couple to aspire to true harmony in their relationship.

Keep in mind that if we truly love someone, we do not seek to change them. We can share our feelings, our thoughts and our spiritual beliefs but we cannot force anyone to believe exactly as we do. This is the cause for many problems, not only in personal relationships, but throughout the world as well.

As your beliefs are very important to you, as they should be, it is equally important for you to establish that fact with your fiance. Although your fiance does not believe exactly as you do, he does believe in a deity, which does reveal that he has a good grasp on spirituality.

The Buddhists have a wonderful saying in that "everyone is on the path where they are meant to be in their lives." This does not necessarily mean that one's path is right or wrong; in fact, in this situation, there is no right nor wrong. Religious or theological beliefs are highly personal to the individual who studies them. As your belief system is personal to yourself, your fiance's beliefs are personal to him. If the two beliefs can come together on common ground, then so much the better. If not, then you both need to do some serious thinking about what each of you expects from the other in regard to spiritual matters.

Good luck to both of you and I hope this helps to some degree.

Answer 8

It makes it tough, my husband with whom I had children was agnostic. He did not interfer with my taking the children to church, getting them baptized and confirmed. He just did not attend church on any other occassions. Made it difficult to explain to the kids. Now my son is agnostic, but regularly attends mass with his wife and children. I think a solid Christian family will have a healtlhier marriage and not confuse the children.

It also makes it hard now when I pray for him, He was such a good man and I want him to be in heaven. He was agnostic to the end, from what I've seen in this long life, facing death is better with faith to hold on to

Answer 9

the undeniable fact which you 2 have made it this a techniques interior the dating -- previous the perplexing morals, limits, and raising little ones conversations -- is a testomony on your means to make this artwork. i became raised Catholic and fell in love with an atheist. We had those conversations, yet they continually ended up unresolved. He puzzled my ethical judgements, thinking why somebody might do some thing (or no longer do some thing) via fact "God instructed you to." He hated the belief of me taking our hypothetical toddlers to church till i became prepared to the two divulge them to the different faith, atheism, etc. (is that even available?). interior the top, i found out that, even nonetheless we've been attracted to a minimum of one yet another bodily and emotionally, this became no longer this variety of affection that should final. there'll continually be some variety or disagreements in a dating. as long as you admire one yet another's ideals and are open to discussing them with one yet another (and open to questions from the youngsters), it seems such as you 2 could have an enduring dating. solid luck!

Answer 10

I think you need to check out the "equally yoked" sites (not the dating services, lol!) . Then, think long and hard. Issues like this are usually covered in pre-marital sessions. Perhaps it is time to start that process so you all can define what you both expect further down the road... Of course everyone changes with time, but you all at least need to be on the same page at the starting point....