Ok, You all have missed the point. However I don't think the children should have to suffer either. But there are other ways to support the children than give her the money. Such as: making it a law for the innocent parent to provide full coverage insurance for the children as far as dental and medical. And if the parent has any sense they should be buying their children school school clothes, supplies and the extras that child needs. As for all your ugly comments I didn't steal anyones husband. I am a child of a dead beat father who I didn't see or know. But rather than my mother get money to help support her other husband and family, cause theres no guarantee I would of got a penny of it, as so many other children will agree paying the phone bill didn't buy me a pair of shoes.......oh but that was to help pay for your support.... Ok .. I just think things need to be done differently. How many children out there actually even see or even know about the child support? I didn't.
2007-02-21 06:42:55 · 9 answers · asked by gizzmo 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Parents shouldn't discuss their specific finances with their children. Nor should one parent ever put down the other to the child. No matter what either parent did that may have ended the relationship, children should not be told the circumstances--they're CHILDREN! And parents shouldn't play games like "well, I might have had enough money to get you _______ if your no good mom/dad would have paid child support this month."
And yes, there are parents who misappropriate child support money. But the money should not be given directly to the child. That money also goes to pay the mortgage for the house the child lives in, the car the child is driven around in, the sports the child plays, the clothes the child wears. To give it to the child would also be a misappropriation.
Do you think married parents that both work would tell their kids "mommy's pay check bought your clothes, but daddy's paycheck bought your food?" No, and it should be the same with any money gathered through child support.
My parents had 50/50 custody of the kids after their divorce. We lived one month with dad, then one month with mom. My dad still had to pay child support to my mom to help even out their incomes. When we were with my dad, if we asked for anything like new shoes or new clothes we had to hear: "that's what I pay child support for, have your mom get you that stuff." My mom never said an unkind word about my dad. And guess what? 20 years later all 3 of us kids think my mom did a far better job at parenting than my dad, even though he wasn't a "dead beat" per se because he always paid his support on time.
Children should neither "know about" nor "see" the support, that's for the adults to worry about.
2007-02-21 07:04:40 · answer #1 · answered by Heather Y 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Im going through a situation now with a dead beat dad. I am 5 weeks pregnant and he doesnt want to hear anything about the baby he deosnt want me to even have it. So a dead beat dad is someone who isnt taking care of their responsibility. They are not men and eventually will find out that their missing out on something special. If that child doesnt see the dad at least twice a week thats a dead beat dad to me. If hee doesnt let his self be known to the child and show the child love and let them know that they will always be there for them and do not treat the mother wrong in the process then hes a good dad. Take heed.
2016-05-24 03:21:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope your right, paying the phone bill didnt buy you a pair of shoes, but i bet you used the phone :) and i bet you had shoes, doesnt matter where the money comes form you were supported, Your father ran off, and you were HIS responsibility he decided not to step up to the plate, your mother on the other hand stepped up and raised you. Who cares if she pockets the money, at least she provided you with food, heat, a bed, clothes, shoes, and even some of the things you wanted and didnt need. Its just the way it is. Kids cost alot more than you obviously know!!! I get 600$ a month for one child, and you know what, that still doesnt cover the expenses of what it costs to raise a 7 year old child. If he wants to be in activities through school, i pay for those, if he has a medical problem, i pay for those, his food costs between 200-300 a month right there, that doesnt include the expenses of taking him to school everyday, picking him up from school, money for this and that at school, Clothes that he outgrows each month, shoes, snow gear. Your not thinking clear enough to see the bigger picture
2007-02-21 06:54:47 · answer #3 · answered by jess_n_flip 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It simply highlights that no system is perfect. What you're asking for is a directed system, where they are required to supply identified objects and benefits. An interesting idea, but one that is even harder to police than the current system. I think you'd end up with even less money going to the children because they don't want to go shopping for shoes, and don't want to go through the trouble of setting up insurance coverage. As it is a judge can order the money directly withdrawn from the paycheque of the father(at least in the court system where I'm from). I don't think that the system you're asking for would be practical without a large supervising body that would drain even more money away. It's tough, but I don't think there is a clear solution.
2007-02-21 06:54:21 · answer #4 · answered by misha0 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Child support is not designed to be money handed to the child to go spend as they want to. It is designed and intended so that you have a roof over your head and food on your table. Whether or not you got a new expensive pair of shoes doesn't matter, and as for you previous question, it really doesn't matter who cheated or why the marriage broke up. It matters who has custody of the children.
I will bet that the whole time you were growing up you had a roof, and clothes, and food to eat, and I willing to be that you probably got a lot stuff that you didn't need but that you wanted. Its not the system's fault that your father couldn't accept his responsibility as a parent and walked away.
When my parents divorced (due to my dad cheating) he was ordered to pay child support and keep medical insurance on both me and my brother. Guess what it never happened. My mom paid for every bit of it, housing and food, clothes, school activities, medical bills.
2007-02-21 07:10:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not sure what you are asking but......I'm married to a man with 4 kids and we have custody of them all. Their mom is court ordered to pay child support but she pays only when threatened of going to court. Were lawyers free and this a perfect world, she would be in jail now for not paying, trying to sabotage the relationship I have with her kids, and basically not being a mother to them. Being a step-parent is hard, very hard...we also have a child together and I have one from a previous marriage. Anyway, I guess my point is......not all dead-beat parents are dads. Sometimes the best parent IS the dad.
2007-02-21 15:13:13 · answer #6 · answered by booger0819 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you mean your father paid regularly for your up keep - or he didn't that means you mother was a terrible mother for not letting you know or miss spending you money. or have i got it wrong.
2007-02-21 06:51:26 · answer #7 · answered by twinsters 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i tell my son that his dad does not pay his child support, that is why i can't give him everything he needs. granted i do give him all that i can. sooner or later he'll figure it out on his own what a deadbeat his father is.
2007-02-21 06:49:36 · answer #8 · answered by pwrgrlmanda 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I don't get what you are asking?
2007-02-21 06:53:52 · answer #9 · answered by Holly 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋