Brother problems! How can you change it?

Question

I have a 22 year old brother who does not work or go to school. Anyways my question is he is VERY impatient and yells at my mom constantly and says does not care even in public. How the hell can this stupid kid change? PLEASE HELP!!!!! I want serious answers nor dumb ones cause I am honestly fed up with this kid.

I meant I want serious answers not dumb ones

Answer 1

Your mother is really probably the only one who can get the help your brother may need. It sounds as if she needs to sit down with him and help him make some goals for himself. Did he finish high school, if not, how about working on getting his GED. If he isn't interested in that he would need to discuss working and career options. Your brother may also be suffering from depression or another mental illness (most of which are very treatable, so don't worry). They should start by having him evaluated by the family doctor or a good counselor or therapist. You could even make an appointment with your family doctor to discuss your brother and see if they have any suggestions. If you are in school speaking to your guidance counselor/officer may help. They may have access to other options that you could explore. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 2

he's youthful and he probable would not see your authentic worth for now. he will realize it sometime at the same time as he receives older. For the advise time, on the different hand, supply him area. you would possibly want to be asking somewhat extra interest that you're meant to be getting because you imagine you're his brother and that brotherhood is "higher" than his relationship consisting of his female friend. yet in time, you'll see that a relationship with a conceivable lifetime mate will grow to be a precedence, yet that does no longer advise you do not love your brother, or that all you've exceeded by contained in the previous were thrown out the window. no longer everybody replace. From my perspective, that is how we sense in the route of a individual that transformations, no longer because we opt for to or that something went incorrect, yet because priorities have replaced. supply him some area, and he will attain out to you. that is the cue once you could tell him the way you sense. Do ask him on occasion although how he's doing once you note him somewhat off.

Answer 3

By calling him kid i surmise that you are his older brother, right? At 22 he is old en ought to fend for himself . I am 51 and have been doing so since I was 14, age when I left home. If you both still live at home, shame on you! If you live together, shame on you. You are not his keeper. You are only accountable for your own actions.. I understand your concern but believe,me, you're beating a dead horse!

It is your mother's obligation to stand up for herself! As a son you can admonish your brother and protect your mom but in the long run she is the only one who can make it stop.

I don't want to sound crass, caustic or sarcastic but I know you've tried countless times and with countless techniques just to come up empty, doesn't that tell you something? Quit wasting your time trying to straighten others' lives and work on your own. You have to be strong, have resolve,discipline and patience and you will have great results.

Answer 4

You can't change your brother. He has to do it himself. Your mom needs to kick him out of the house and not allow him in the home if he is going to be abusive. It really is the only possible solution.

My sister in law has not been in my mother in laws house now for 15 years because of issues like this. In her case it is a mental illness. You may need to check into whether your brother is mentally ill.

Answer 5

Seriously, you cannot change someone else's behavior for them. They have to want to change. The only person in the whole universe whose behavior you can surely change is your own.

This means giving up on trying to change your brother's behavior (or anyone else's) and concentrating on changing your own behavior.

You can tell your parents that you refuse to go anywhere in public with your brother, and follow through with that. You can tell your mom that if your brother yells at her and she won't try to stop him, you will not stay around her when your brother is around. You can refuse to be complicit in allowing your brother to not work or attend school by not responding to any requests for help by your brother or your parents if you believe that to help them would be to enable your brother to continue your behavior.

Something else you ought to do is start reading up on behavioral disorders, including personality disorders (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/personality-disorders/DS00562, http://mentalhelp.net/poc/center_index.php?id=8, http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/personalitydisorders.html). It seems to me likely that your brother may have a personality disorder. This is a form of mental illness. My younger brother has a personality disorder (schizoid personality disorder) to an extent that is disabling.

People who have personality disorders are effectively hard-wired to behave in specific, very circumscribed ways, and the disorders are very resistant to treatment. However, counseling and therapy that includes the person with the disorder, as well as family members that interact with them, can be helpful in changing the family behavior dynamic from something that is toxic and ineffective to something that is healthier and more effective.

You need to read up on the personality disorders, and if you find that your brother's behavior sounds similar to one or more of the disorders, you might want to go see a psychiatrist to discuss what can be done. The psychiatrist will probably suggest a complete physical and psyche evaluation. Depending on the severity of the personality disorder, counseling or therapy might be recommended.

Please recognize that if your brother does have mental problems, he did not choose to have them. Personality disorders are hell to deal with and are as yet poorly understood by the psychiatric medical community. But if your brother does indeed have a mental disorder, and it sounds like he might, recognition that he is a sick kid, not a stupid kid, might help you to understand what is necessary to change things.

Good luck.

Answer 6

not being mean but your mom needs to step in and take care of the situation. If he is being a loser then your mom has to step up and do something like kick him out of something. I have a friend who her brother is not working and her mom keeps paying his rent. that is not teaching him anything because he knows that if hes not working then mommy will just come and pick up the pieces. its up to your mom to be storng and take care of this not you.

Answer 7

I think your mom needs to step up and refuse to be treated like that by your brother. Maybe its time she makes him move out and become responsible.

Answer 8

Ok, I think you have two options: 1) Tell him to stop acting like an immature baby to your mom and in public! 2) Tell him he better stop acting like that or you and your mom will kick his sorry butt out!!

Answer 9

ur mom could try to punish him if he does something wrong. if ur mom is fed up with him and she's angry he might not fight back. try having another relative talk to him and teach him a lesson. hope this works for ur bro.

Answer 10

Tell him to get off his *** and do something with his life. Go to school get a job do something. He has no right to disrespect your mom like that.