I have two children of 5 and 7. I am seriously broody but scared of what the effect of a third child might have on our lives. I suffer from anxiety and am worried that I may sink into depression and regret the loss of my much valued freedom and space that I now have.
Anyone who has 3 kids...what is it like? I know everyone's experience is different and it depends on a lot of factors, but I'd be really interested to hear honest opinions.
2007-02-21 06:04:37 · 34 answers · asked by flowerpot 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
First - who really wants #3? Are you really thinking about it or does the hubby want another?
With that said.... we have a 9 yr boy, 3 1/2 yr girl and 2 yr boy. As my hubby puts it we went from man to man coverage to zone defense. I also have anxiety/stress issues and had pretty bad post partum with #2 and #3, so I think I know some of your concerns. And I was older when we started having kids, starting at 31 and at 38 for the last. And I wouldn’t change a thing.
Each child has their own personalities and styles and they help and learn from each other and I learn from them too.
It also helps that our eldest wanted another sibling and is a tremendous help with both little ones. Do you have a feel for how your two would take a new baby? If they are excited you would have a great deal of help with them (and in-house baby-sitters not too far off). If not, don't let them rule your decision, but know you will have some convincing to do with them.
All I can say is really look at what you want and if you want another one seriously discuss it with the hubby and what could happen after the baby is born and the amount of help you may need. The both of you have to be on the same page so there are no (OK as few as possible) surprises.
Good luck!!!
2007-02-21 06:32:22 · answer #1 · answered by g-lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want honest? I have boys who are 19, 15, 13, 9, and 5 years old. All but one of my children were concieved using birth control. in two cases...I was using two forms at once! I am the quintisential fertil Myrtle!
Having more than two children is NOT as hard as it may feel at first. I learned to accomplish most things using an "assembly line" mentality. Organize everything that needs to be done and go with it.
Some days were hectic as hell ...but the older kids helped out a lot. They thought they were playing....Ah the innocence of youth! I did sort of make it seem that way. Challenging them to see who could grab the diaper stuff the quickest....How long could they play the 'silence' game (the person who's the quietest the longest wins!)
Having a new baby in the house while the others are a bit older is almost like having another 'first' child.....You have all the freedom to learn and love the new baby without having to stretch your lap to accomodate other toddlers too.
As for your anxiety? Honey...BREATH! I too suffer from anxiety and the stupid embarrassing attacts that can come with it. And my attacks would even come on without any outward reason at all! And I have survived having FIVE kids in my home at once!
There have been days when I am so damned tired and stressed that I don't want to do it anymore...but they're not very often and usually around the stressful times of the year like the holidays....
Sometimes....a cuddle with my youngest... or curling up with him to read a book and watch him fall asleep are all I need to drain the stress away.
If you are wanting another child or are all ready pregnant with your third...relax a little...and think of all the positives a new one will be bringing into your home. Cookie kisses, sticky fingers, bubbly giggles over dust motes, and the total admiration for you in their eyes. And? The new baby all ready has two older children to follow....emulate!
Good luck!
2007-02-21 06:35:49 · answer #2 · answered by Lynn D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i have 3 children under the age of 6 and im now 9 weeks away from giving birth to my 4th, if you are worried then i suggest you talk to someone it dosent have to be a problem if you really want another child , if you think that it is just a broody thing then i would seriously think about it but if you love the thought of another child then talk to your partner or a doctor and just explain that your worried you could sort something out. Being a mum of 4 children soon just makes me feel great but everyone is different so its just something you have to really think about ! personally if you really want another child then go for it there is always help when you need it , good luck in your decision .
2007-02-21 07:53:56 · answer #3 · answered by jamie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 3 children 5, 2, and my new 5month old princess. Although I love them very much I wish i would have waited a while because I have anxiety too, and it is VERY hard when they all need something..you're cooking, she needs a bottle, the boys are fighting over toys, and your emotional distress doesn't make things go smoothly. Yours are a little older than mine so it may not be so bad, I guess it just depends on how well mannered and behaved your children are..Even though it is hard, I still love it. If you are already pregnant then don't worry God has a way of working this stuff out.
2007-02-21 06:14:13 · answer #4 · answered by sweetiepiefg 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 2 boys age 5 and 6 im 5 months preg with my third due in july, i the same as you was very broody and fell pregnant stright away, I do feel a little anxious as to what it will be like but the boys are really excited for there new baby and im looking forward to it. Its better to do it now if you do want another one as u'l have more of a life as they get older and more independent and will be wishing you had them all near each other, mind you they can babysit for you then.Im not to bothered theres a lady near me who has 6 children and shes the same age as me 26. I wont be having 6 thats for sure.
2007-02-21 06:44:08 · answer #5 · answered by lisa c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would def. finish uni first. I could imagine all the stress. If you are like me and a lot of other mothers I bet you worry about your kids all the time and you obviously care enough to seek advice. If you wait until you have a career then all 3 of your children would never have to worry about having anything more then likely and your 2 other kids will be older and more excited about a new baby. If you are only 23 you have a long time to keep making babies! Have as many as you can support :) If you could handle a new baby on your income now and still be able to concentrate and get your degree if your 100% sure then hey all the power to you! Congrats on what you chose and good luck in life!
2016-05-24 03:12:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I have 4 children now, with a larger gap between number two and number three. I thought our family was complete after two children but after a couple of years, desperately wanted another. I wanted another baby so badly that I'd already come to terms with the thought of going back to the night feeds, nappies and loss of freedom, before I even got pregnant. I felt that it would definitely be worth all that for my much longed-for baby, and for me it was absolutely right. It didn't feel like much more work with three kids, he fitted right into our family as if he'd always been there. But there are still days when I feel as if I'm being pulled in all directions and I don't get a minute to myself. It's hard, but for me, I wanted it so badly that the smaller sacrifices are well worth it.
2007-02-21 08:00:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I decided to only have 2 myself. This is because when I was growing up I had 2 older sisters. The problem with 3 is that there is always one left out, when growing up my sisters and I never all got on at the same time. Statistics show that it tends to be the middle child that is left out.
The way that I see it is if you have been blessed with two healthy children then think yourself lucky and why rock the boat?
If you have doubts, which you obviously have, then take that as a sign, enjoy the 2 you have and give them a great life!
2007-02-21 06:18:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 9 weeks pregnant with my 3rd i have a 3a nd ahalf year old and a 6 and a half year old.
It also worries me, but only now im pregnant, my 2 kids are so good that i worry this one might not be, but i know deep inside its so the right thing to do.
I would have hated to spend the next 10 years saying i wonder what it would have been like to have another one.
My kids are so excited, and will be at a good age when the baby comes.
I say if you have any doubs, think for another few months, and then see.
Good luck
2007-02-21 06:11:30 · answer #9 · answered by hayles 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i know how you are feeling i am the mother of 4 girls ages 14, 12, 6, and 4 and yes it is very tough i have no life at all if you are having doubts i would not go for it ecspecially if you are already at your wits end as it is dont get me wrong i love all my kids and would not change not having them for even a second but there is a way to get through it i as much as you can get away you are not a bad person to want to spend time away from them we all need time away and maybe if you do decide or already pregnant with your third child why not take a weekend to yourself if possible to just have some mommy time it works wonders it is hard for me to do though with 4 so i have a very strict bedtime so that away i get at least an hour or two just for me it is tough i know and i wish you all the best of luck in whatever you decide to do and if you need to please contact me having someone to talk to also helps alot
2007-02-21 06:19:00 · answer #10 · answered by HOT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋