How does depression affect a relationship?

Question

My girlfriend suffers from depression and id like to know in what ways does this affect a relationship? I mean when i met her it wasnt so apparent but as time went by the depression showed itself. At first i thought it was me, and my reactions to her moods(although this is still probably true). And i see now how it affects her.......but she doesnt. She knows shes depressed and takes anti-depressants but she doesnt see the way she is, the way she interacts with me and people around her. She can be hostile and can fly off the handle very easily. One day she is great to be around and the next.......quite, remote, like she doesnt wanna know. This is taking its toll on me coz its my first real relationship and i dunno if this is the way things are normally when youre going out with somebody???????? Is it??? I dunno maybe its nothing to do with depression and its that shes just not into me......what do you think???? thanks

Answer 1

Depression takes a toll both on the person suffering from it and on those they love. It's great that she realizes she has this disease and is on medication to try to help alleviate the symptoms. Unfortunately, most people also need therapy so they can talk out their feelings and get feedback from a trained professional. Is your girlfriend doing this? If she is, then I'd ask her if you could accompany her to a couple of sessions to try to understand her and her feelings a little better. Make it a positive move on your part and be open to whatever it takes to make your relationship work. If she understands that is the reason why you want to go...I am 100% positive no girl would turn that opportunity down.

It would be an easy go of it but if you feel she's worth it then don't let anything stop you from finding out if you're worth it too.

Answer 2

I'm male and 52 and it i is pretty normal. I have been on antidepressants since the mid eighties. Don't put her under pressure or insist she goes places she is not comfortable as that will make her worse.Don';t forget she did not ask for it. Many depressive people I have met are the kindest and nicest people I have ever met and have not been understood by their partners and have been abandoned, divorced etc makinbg them feel worse.

Medication is one thing but she probably needs to attend classes telling her how to deal with depression. She can still live a full and rewarding wife but it takes a partner to understand her and love her to make that happen. There will be ups and downs but the ups should far outweigh the downs. If you are going to finish with her then do it sensitivly and tactfully.

Answer 3

Sometimes the antidepressants do more harm than good, They can cause a person to lose interest in some of the things they liked even while depressed. Sex life may suffer greatly as a result of the meds also. I had planned on being a wisenhimer until I read you complete question.

Answer 4

Over the last five years I had begun to have increasingly withdraw into a downward spiral of depression..

But now with the method I can fully focus my energy and thoughts into a decisive line on how to make my life better constantly. And it works like magic! I'm beginning to attract people to me once again and things have just been looking up since then.

Helping you eliminate depression?

Answer 5

if I were in your shoes I wil start runing now that you are not marry I myself won't like to marry someone that is in depresion pills...You will end up taking them too is conatgious just to see and deal with someone with depresion make you depress don't you feel like that sometimes? I now your answer is yes so is affecting you...Do what benefits you the best...Her depresion problems are not your fault and no for you to take care of her unless she is your wife...If I want to buy something ofcourse I want something that is not damage if it get broken when I have in my posesion the I have to deal with other wise I will run unless you do like the idea of been in that kind of relationship...That is only my own opinion so...

Answer 6

I think she`s into you a little to much. She may be depressed but she sounds controling and could possibly have some anger issues. No this is not how it`s supposed to be.

Answer 7

It affects a relationship b/c u try to help out your bf or gf and she/he wants to be left alone. And you feel helpless.

Answer 8

i had depression
it affects your everyday life in many ways
you have mood swings like she`s haveing now.
Get Her Help
i got help

Answer 9

What in the world is the difference between loving a person, and being attached to them? Love is the sincere wish, for others to be happy and to be free from suffering. Having realistically realized other’s kindness, as well as their faults, Love is Always focused on the other person’s welfare. We have no ulterior intensions or motives to fulfill our own self-interests; or to fulfill our own desires, we love others, all people, simply because they exist. Attachment, on the other hand, exaggerates others’ good qualities, and makes us crave to be with them. When we’re with them, we are happy, but when we’re separated from them, we’re miserable. Attachments are always linked with expectations of what others should be, or what they should do for us. Is love, as it is understood in most societies, really love OR attachment ? Let us examine this a little more. Generally speaking, we are attracted {drawn to) people because they have qualities we value, or because they help us in some way. If we carefully observe, through introspection, our own thought processes we’ll notice that we very often look for specific qualities in others. Some of these qualities we are drawn to are qualities within our parents, or qualities which society values.
We examine someone’s looks, education, social status, financial status, and so forth. This is how Most of us decide on whether or not the person holds any true value, or not. In addition, we judge people as worthwhile according to how they relate to us. If they praise us, encourage us, help us, if they listen to what we have to say, if they make us feel secure, if they take care of us when were sick, unhappy or depressed, we consider them good, or sometimes righteous people, and these are the people we more drawn to, whom we are most likely attracted to, and the people we choose to be around with.
In all honesty, this is very biased, for we are judging them, only in terms of how they relate to us, as if we are the most important person in the world & thinking the world revolves around us! After we’ve judged certain people to be good for us, whenever we see them, it appears to us as if goodness is radiating out from within them, but as we are more mindfully aware, we realize that we have projected this goodness on to them.
Desiring to be the people who make us feel good, we become emotional yo-yo’s, when we’re with these people, we’re up, but when we’re not with them, we’re down. Furthermore, we form fixed concepts of what our relationships with these people will be, and thus have expectations of them. “When they do not live up to our expectations of them, we’re unhappy, disappointed or may even become angry. We want them to change so that they will match what we think they are. But our projections and expectations come from our own minds, not from other people. Our problems arise not because others aren’t who we thought they were, but because we mistakenly thought they were something they were not. We often use a type of Checklist also. Checklist: “I Love You IF ___________ !” This Love is Conditional and what we call love, is most often attachment. It is actually an attitude which overestimates the qualities of another person.
’Then we cling tightly to that person, thinking our peace and happiness depends on that person. We even often blame that person for our unhappiness.’ Love, on the other hand, is a very patient, calm, optimistic and relaxed attitude. We want others to be free from suffering and to be happy simply because they exist. While attachments are uncontrolled, and too emotionally sentimental, Love is Patient, powerful, and controlled(disciplined). Attachment obscures our judgment {our ability to make sound, wise decisions), and we become impatient, angry, and impartial – helping our dear ones, and those who do us no harm. Love clarifies our mind, & we access a situation by thinking of the greatest good for everyone. Attachment is based on selfishness, while love is founded on valuing, & cherishing others, even those who do not look very appealing to us. Love always looks beyond all the superficial appearances and dwells on the fact that they are just like us: they want peace of mind, happiness, and wish to avoid suffering. If we see an unattractive, or unintelligent people we most often feel repulsed, because our selfish minds want to find attractive, intelligent, and talented people. On the other hand, Love never evaluates others by theses superficial standards and looks much deeper into the person. Love recognizes that regardless of the others appearances, they’re experiences are they same as ours: they want inner mental peace, happiness, and wish to be from suffering. When we’re attached, we’re not mentally, emotionally, & spiritually free. For we overly depend on, and cling to another person, to fulfill our emotional, mental, and spiritual needs. We fear losing the person, fearing that we’d be incomplete without them.” This does Not mean that we should suppress all our emotional needs, or become aloof, and totally independent, for that too would not solve the problem. We must simply realize our unrealistic needs and slowly, gently and patiently – seek to eliminate them. If we try to suppress them, pretending they do not exist, we become insecure, anxious, or possibly depressed. In this case, we do our best to fulfill our needs, while simultaneously working gradually to subdue them. The core problem is that most of us seek to be loved, rather than to love. We yearn to be understood by others, rather than to understand them. Our sense of emotional insecurities comes from the selfish obscuring of our own minds. We develop confidence by recognizing our inner potential to become a Selfless human being, having many magnificent qualities, and then we’ll develop and have an accurate perception of ourselves, gaining self-confidence. We’ll seek to increase true unconditional love, to increase compassion, to cultivate patience, as well as generosity, right concentration and wisdom. Under the influence of attachment, we’re bound by our unstable emotional reactions to others. When they’re nice to us, we’re happy, but when they ignore us or speak sharply to us, we take it personally, and are unhappy. But pacifying attachment doesn’t mean we become hard-hearted, rather without attachments, there will be space in our hearts and minds for genuine affection and impartial love for them. And as a result, we’ll be more actively involved with them. As we learn to transform our minds & lives, through subduing our attachments, we can definitely have successful friendships, and personal relationships with others. These relationships will be richer, more meaningful because of the freedom and respect the relationships are based on. We’ll really care about the happiness and misery of all human beings equally, simply because everyone is the same inside: we all want inner peace of mind, Happiness, and to be from suffering.
However, of course, our lifestyles and interests may be a bit more compatible with some people. Our friendships and our personal relationships will be based on mutual interests, and to help other people. Having such an attitude, we’ll be much More Patient, & tolerant toward others; will remain mentally calm, having Peace of Mind and Happiness, and we’ll communicate successfully with others in life.