My fiance and I live together. And we are going to be married in November. We have the church booked but have yet to talk to the preacher. The preacher and church are both First United Methodist. Do you think he will marry us even though we live together!!?? Help I'm worried!
2007-02-21 05:45:09 · 13 answers · asked by lvsgal86 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I don't see why he wouldn't marry you...a lot of couples live together before they decide to get married....I couldn't imagine not knowing what I would be getting into if he didn't live with me first!!!!!
2007-02-21 05:49:01 · answer #1 · answered by Soon2BMrsCarlson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will marry you but he will require you to go through couples counseling with him as most churches do to any couple that wants a preacher/pastor/father to marry them. Talk to the recpetionist at the church for more details about the counseling and when to start. In the end its his choice but most dont have a problem with it. Good Luck!
I agree with Proud to be 51.. if its not asked.. dont tell but dont lie to him if he asks.
2007-02-21 07:33:53 · answer #2 · answered by Kristin Pregnant with #4 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the minister. Some are very strict on this matter. Are you members of his congregation? If you aren't I don't see a problem. Usually that's where the problem comes in.
Are you just discussing the ceremony with him or are you doing some pre-marital counselling? He might tell you that you should abstain from sex until the ceremony, but that's about it.
And a lot of couple decide to do that on their own, as it makes the honeymoon something to r-e-a-l-l-y look forward to!
Don't sweat it until you speak with him but I would do it real soon. Too many couples wait until the last minute to even book their officiant, even if they have a particular one in mind. It can be very frustrating to both the couple & the officiant.
2007-02-21 06:44:31 · answer #3 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a hard call either way. A friend of mine and her husband lived together before they got married and one Methodist minister refused to marry them based on that. But they went to a second one and he agreed to marry them no matter what.
It just depends on the ministers attitude towards non-married couples living together.
For every one minister that won't marry you there are at least 3 that will. And nowadays many couples live together before they get married it is considered the new norm.
By law you don't have to tell him that you live together. And he doesn't have the legal right to ask either. I say don't tell him unless he asks. If he does ask don't lie to him. They can always tell if your lying.
2007-02-21 06:01:50 · answer #4 · answered by Caribbean Cutie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should marry you. I would ask him and if he wont then find another preacher who will. I was Catholic and got married to my husband who is Holiness and we got married in his church, by his preacher. Later I joined his chruch, and we live together for financial reasons and it cut down on the cost of having to pay for 2 apartments and utilities.
2007-02-21 06:42:55 · answer #5 · answered by mstigger_78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, for one, he doesn't have to know that you two live together. And if he refuses to marry you because of that, then he is letting his own personal feelings get in the way of his job. If that's the case, find a different church with a different pastor to preform the ceremony.
2007-02-21 05:56:36 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't know! Why would you be worried? You have to live with the consequences of your choices... so just go to a JP otherwise. Have you been attending church, do you know the minister? All of these might factor in.
2007-02-21 08:11:16 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually, yes. Assuming that he even asks, he might tell you that one of you has to move out. Or he might not care. Our minister came to our house for our counselling, so he apparently didn't care that we were living together.
Of course, it does happen that they refuse to marry you. But they'll almost always say "If you don't move out, then I won't marry you." Then it's up to you!
2007-02-21 08:33:06 · answer #8 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you attend church regularly???.....I have the same problem......I was Catholic and my fiance is Lutheran.....I converted and am getting confirmed on Saturday.....talk to the Pastor and tell him your situation the best thing is to be honest. I attend church every Sunday and want to get invloved in the Church....
2007-02-21 06:16:52 · answer #9 · answered by JenS12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see why they wouldn't. There are so many couples living together now days. I would just take the approach - don't ask, don't tell. If he doesn't ask... don't volunteer the information.
Congrats, and good luck!
2007-02-21 05:51:56 · answer #10 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋