My boyfriend and me are deeply in love with each other..i mean we cant even imagine spending the rest of our lives with anybody else.however there's a problem..me and him have many differences and it would be hard for us to be together in the future..im from a muslim family and he is hindu..and my parents believe in arranged marriage..they dont even allow me to talk to guys but apparently i have broken that rule..my family is full of drama..and i hate drama..i just want to get away from all this..but my boyfriend says he will not run away with me and get married without parental consent..he is a very nice guy..and he's so different from all the guys i have ever met..however there's another problem we have a huge age gap..he's 8 years older then me..he's not old old..he's still in early 20s..it would be very hard for us to be together in the future..should we break up now and try to forget each other..even though that would be hard..or should we just go with the flow??please help!!!!!!!
2007-02-21 05:42:45 · 9 answers · asked by lilcrzygurl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's too old for you.
You're too young to decide the rest of your life.
You don't share the same religion.
Break up. Let him find a woman who is Hindu who he can marry without the drama of this, whose parents will love and accept his bride, and bride's parents will love and accept him. If he's a nice guy, he deserves a peaceful, happy life free of this strife.
2007-02-21 05:47:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay hun, this sounds like a serious problem. well first of all running away and getting married is a bad idea. your young and it is a proven fact that most young marriages are the leading cause of divorce. you should wait until you are a little older. and about him wanting parental consent, okay he does know that your parents are into arranged marriages and that they won't let you get married to him. so why is he so against it. he either doesn't feel ready to get married or is just waiting for something better to come along. come on think girl... why would someone so much older than you want to be with you but not marry you? and on top of that, what's the parentals got to do with anything. they are going to say no to you marring him are they not? and i'm sure he knows that... so what is the point of wasting your life on something that is clearly not going to happen... move on hon, it's the best thing to do right now... if he comes back to you and wants to get married then thats great... but seriously honey, anyone who is in love wouldn't care about the 'rents, they would run away and get married regardless. people do it all the time.
2007-02-21 13:54:55 · answer #2 · answered by demonswt88 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow ... I'm sorry to hear about all the drama. Since I'm American and have never been through any of what you are going through, I would feel wrong in giving you advice. The only thing I will say is that I believe you have to follow your heart. I realize that each culture has it's own rules and that they do vary, sometimes widely. However, I also believe and hope that if you sit down with both families and explain how you both feel, that they may be inclined to understand. Although, as I said, I don't know how things work within your cultures. I'm so sorry that you both are having to deal with such issues at hand.
I wish you both all the luck and happiness in the world.
2007-02-21 13:49:21 · answer #3 · answered by Nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does seem like a nice guy from what you say, but please remember, sometimes a guy can be a way out from your own family that gives you trouble. It happened to me. I needed a way out and later noticed that he was not the right one. Whatever you do, take your time. Do not let your family decide what's best for you, but don't burn any bridges behind you either. I'd go with the flow for now and take it day by day. Btw, I don't think 8 years is a huge age gap. Best of luck!
2007-02-21 13:50:48 · answer #4 · answered by karinatwork 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the simplest answer here is give and take. You're parents may be strict, but you are your own person. When you're old enough, sit them down and tell them you're interested in a guy outside your religion and not at all interested in arranged anything (except flowers, b/c they're pretty).
They will be angry, sure. However, if they are intelligent they will realize that you are your own person and able to make your own decisions and own mistakes.
Now, you're boyfriend; sit him down and explain that if you intend to pursue this relationship that it IS a possibility that you're parents will not want/condone/allow this to progress to marriage and he has to decide whether he is willing to stick it out, or just weasel away. If he wouldn't choose you over parental consent, then he simply isn't worth it.
2007-02-21 13:51:21 · answer #5 · answered by Slimslimmer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Concentrate on your studies babe! or you have already left the school coz the age of your boy friends suggests that you are in the teens and that is the reason whatever you wrote in your question reflects a immature and disturbed mind. I would say your boy friend is much more wiser than you are and the only good thing you said is " should we break up now and try to forget each other.." I think you should without wasting a minute.
2007-02-21 13:50:50 · answer #6 · answered by dua 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you need to do is let things flow right now and not worry until you two want to get married.
When that time comes, bring it up with your parents and show him to them. Once they see how great a man he is, they will come to accept him into the family and allow you two to marry.
When it comes to the religious aspect, I suggest finding an even ground, somehting you two have in comming with both religions. For exmpla: Do you both believe in God, or a god?
2007-02-21 13:46:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
to me, it sounds like you really want things to work. confront your parents and let them know how much in love you are with him...maybe they'll understadn and if they don't you should keep trying :-)
2007-02-21 13:46:41 · answer #8 · answered by no name no name 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your parents are still your boss...u must be under 18? soooo he's too old for you. stop now. my thoughts......
2007-02-21 13:48:04 · answer #9 · answered by stop it 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋