he was the one who would feed her and play with her and put her to bed. He was not around for very long but she was really close to him now he's gone and shes asking for him what am i supposed to say. she knows what dead means but i dont want her to have that image of him?????
2007-02-21 05:34:01 · 8 answers · asked by Jenny 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
If you believe, I would explain heaven to her. Sometimes, the comfort of a loved one living in a wonderful place somewhere else is easier to take.
I work with people with developmental and physical disabilities. The people with mental disabilities sometimes have the same comprehension levels of small children. I have a book on how to speak to them about death, and it tells of speaking to them truthfully, but explaining it as them being in heaven, and they will always be with them in their heart and their memories helps a lot. I have had to speak to them about their relatives, friends and parents dying, sometimes being the one to break the news to them. It is hard, but they need to know. And I am honest with them. I plan on doing the same thing with my daughter when she is old enough to understand.
Just explain what happened, and that their spirit is alive in their heart, but their body is gone. Tell her that he will always be there watching over her, and at night, he may even visit her in her dreams. This will help with the memories that find their way into dreams. Tell her it is okay to be sad, and it is okay to cry, but to remember all of the good times, and that he is always with her. Maybe a picture of the two of them in a special frame in her room will help her, too. It is a way to remember and honor the memory, instead of hiding the memory and trying to act as if he was never there.
Good luck!
2007-02-21 06:40:57 · answer #1 · answered by volleyballchick (cowards block) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son (4) asks me about death often. He's afraid I might die and leave him alone. I tell him that everybody who dies goes to heaven. That I will go to heaven before him, and there I'll wait for him. And in the meantime, I'll make sure that his room up there is all prepared and ready to go and all of his favorite things are up there too to wait for him and that we will be together again for ever. And also that people who die will turn into angels that can come down and check on him and protect him (and that he can't see them but they're here anyway). I don't know if this is true or not, but it makes even me feel better about the whole issue. Gotta believe in something. Good luck!
2007-02-21 14:13:07 · answer #2 · answered by karinatwork 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my daughter was 4 I had a son who was stillborn at 26 weeks. She was looking forward to being a big sister and it was a huge blow to our whole family. I wasn't very prepared to explain such a thing, but didn't have much of a choice. We told her that Andrew was very special and that god wanted him to be with him in heaven, we never acted like we had all the answers, we let her know we were all sad like she was, and that Andrew is always watching us from up in heaven, and even though we cant see or hear him he can see and hear us,and he knows we love him. After his funeral we gave her a teddy bear my boss and his wife had sent, we told her it was from Andrew in heaven so she would always remember him, it was a great way for her to stay connected with him. she named him sweetbear and he has become a part of our family, he was even our ''ring bearer'' when my husband and I got married . I deal with her questions by giving short and simple answers, giving more detail when asked. I hope this is helpful,and good lock to you and your little boy.
2007-02-24 22:10:48 · answer #3 · answered by tayshea143 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm guessing you are talking about the child's grandfather or great-grandfather. Hard to explain to a 4 year old...or any age child who doesn't fully understand death yet. I would just tell her the truth. If you believe in Jesus and heaven, tell her that he has gone to heaven to be with Jesus and that he is not coming back, but that she will see him again one day...or whatever you believe.
2007-02-21 13:42:44 · answer #4 · answered by polarbear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that he went to heaven, because God was needing help with another kids, so how he was SO good at it, he needed his cooperation, and instead God sent her a guardian angel(you can buy a stamp or little angel to make it real) to be with her.
You have to compensate her lost(angel), and with heaven when she looks the sky , she will think he is there. Good luck!
2007-02-21 13:53:26 · answer #5 · answered by mathelp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her a wonderful story about heaven, streets of gold etc. I think this will soothe her and in time she will mention him less and less.
2007-02-21 13:48:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What image do you want her to have of him? He's dead isnt he?
Just explain that he died, and thats okay, he's allowed to die when its his time. And she's allowed to feel sad, but that he would never want her to stay sad.
Help her to remember the good times, and to look towards other things.
2007-02-21 13:40:15 · answer #7 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I cannot tell you how to tell her, but until you figure that out tell her that he went on a buisiness trip or vacation
2007-02-21 13:38:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋