I am currently 3 months pregnant with our first child and my boyfriend has just asked me to marry him. We want so much to do this the right way. Should we get married before the baby is born or wait until afterwards?
It is all confusing to me. Any help would be sincerely appreciated. I would also appreciate any suggestions that you may have.
2007-02-21 05:32:20 · 16 answers · asked by Caribbean Cutie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Get married tomorrow. It's too late to do it "right" when you're already pregnant!
2007-02-21 05:35:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry that so many people that answered your question are weirdos. It's totally up to you what you want to do. There is no wrong way to go about this. You don't have a ton of time to plan a wedding before your belly gets really big, but it is possible if you want to take that route. Or you and your fiance can have a small private wedding, which doesn't take much planning, and then invite people over for a reception. This is the idea I like. Or you can buy a maternity dress and get married full-on prego. My sister did that. Or just wait until after the baby is born. There's no shame in that either.
But, if you two got engaged because of the baby and you have any reservations about getting married then don't.
Good luck.
2007-02-21 14:09:13 · answer #2 · answered by JennyJo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I see alot of people saying do it before the baby is born and if you don't get married, adopt the child out to a married couple. First of all, I understand that you did NOT come to this site for Criticism, you came for an answer. I understand that a pre-marital child is not the best thing for your reputation, but PRAY ABOUT IT!!!! And do what you feel is best!!!! It may not be best for you to have the child after the marriage. And think about this, people are saying 'get married before anyone knows you are pregnant', but even if you get married now, you are still 3 months pregnant. You can't shave off three months. If you get married, and say you got pregnant right after marriage, then people are going to wonder why you gave birth to a prefectly healthy baby after 6 months. Either way, people are going to know. If you want a nice wedding, I would say wait until after the baby is born. I personally know people whom have gotten married after the child was born, and no one criticized them for it. You need to do what is right for you and YOUR family, though! The people on here being nasty are not YOUR family, and have no right to be rude. I am sure they have done things wrong, too. This is not saying that I agree with Premarital sex, as I do not. I think it is wrong, and would never consider it. But that doesn't mean that I look down on people who have made that mistake. I know several people in my family who gave birth unmarried at a young age, but that doesn't make them bad people. Just people who made wrong decisions. And that doesn't make the child a bad child either, the child is not at fault here. Just do what is right for YOU and YOU alone, don't bother with the rude people on this site!!!! As I said, you didn't come for criticism. Hope this helps! And PRAY about it!! God CAN and WILL lead you in the right direction for YOU!
Also, someone said something about getting married so your child can legally have daddy's last name, but that has NOTHING to do with whether you are married or not! I personally know several people who have had children before marriage (some not marrying period) and they gave their children "daddy's last name" with no problems!!! You can give your child whatever last name you choose to!
2007-02-21 13:46:52 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would just have a simple ceremony at the local courthouse for now. And you can have the wedding you want maybe on your first anniversary. But I would most definitely get married before the baby is born. That way the child can legally have daddy's last name. And you cut down on being the subject of the latest gossip in your area. You also want to do this before you get any bigger. You don't want to call attention to the fact that you are expecting.
congrats and good luck.
2007-02-21 13:40:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You run, don't walk, to city hall or to a justice of the peace as soon as possible. Just you two, and parents or best friends. That's it. Go out for a nice dinner. You have to do this for the sake of your upcoming baby, and forget any thoughts of a "big wedding" and white gown you might be having. Those thoughts should be banished from your head.
You have made your choices, and now need to make sure the consequences work out. What's important is the marriage, not the wedding, and the two of you providing a stable family for this baby coming. Congrats!
2007-02-21 16:16:41 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well ideally you've missed the boat on doing it the right way (no judgment, i did too). However, since there is a baby coming and no nuptials yet, I would suggest going to the Justice of the Peace and having a civil ceremony so you can legitimize the child. Then after things have settled a bit, plan a real wedding and introduction of the little one. Congrats and good luck.
AMEN PART-TIME!
2007-02-21 13:40:50 · answer #6 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it totally depends on what is right for you!!! if you want to be married before the baby is born, then go do it, but if a big wedding is important to you, and you would not feel comfortable getting married with a big belly, then wait. also take into consideration what your beliefs and/or religion thinks. (if this is important to you) if not, do whatever you feel. i personally do not see the point in hurrying up and getting married just to get it out of the way before the baby is born. if it was me, i would wait, just because i would want to focus on one important event (the pregnancy and baby!) before moving on to a second important event (your wedding and marriage!)
congrats on your engagement and your pregnancy! best of luck!
2007-02-21 16:46:23 · answer #7 · answered by mrskumar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People have babies before they are married. Who cares what other people may think. Do whatever is right for you, your fiance, and the baby. Don't be in such a rush to get married. Marriage is not always the answer to a pregnancy. Pray about it and I wish you all the luck in the world.
2007-02-21 13:40:36 · answer #8 · answered by Justyn's Mommy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If it was me, I would be getting married first, and getting pregnant later. It really is up to you, there's no "right" time to get married - just do what feels "right" to you. I personally would think of getting married sooner rather than later, even if it meant a courthouse wedding; as they say - smith the iron while it's hot.
2007-02-21 13:40:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The right way would have been to get married first and then get pregnant, so why wait?......for him to change his mind? And if he does then please put the baby up for adoption to a married couple.
And no, you don't do what you Want (like atbkkj above commented), you already did that, that's why you got pregnant in the first place, you do what is best for the baby.
Are single parents able to stay home to raise their kids, or do they have to work while some else raises them (day care, babysitter, nanny)? I'm just saying think about what's best for your kids before you decide to do what's best for You, they don't have a choice......
2007-02-21 13:38:07 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Twinkle♥Toes 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Weddings are very stressful and any unwanted stress can really hurt the baby....I would say wait until after you have your beautiful healthy child and maybe you can include him or her in the wedding. Or even schedule your wedding and the baby's baptism on the same day. Don't worry about what others think....they will get over it when they see you happy and healthy!!!!
2007-02-21 13:39:16 · answer #11 · answered by Soon2BMrsCarlson 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋