I just can't seem to be happy... Why?

Question

I have soo many stressors in my life that seem to haunt me for whatever reason and keeps me in this stage of depression that is killing me. I need help, i need advice, maybe words of encouragement or full of life. I met this guy a while back while having a boyfriend. He fell in love with me and when my boyfriend and i broke up he told me he loved me. I was upfront in the beginning and always made sure he knew that all i could offer him was my friendship and so he took it. I was injured at the time from a back injury that after surgery led to me being in bed for half a year. He was always there for me, buying me groceries, checking up on me and telling me that once id got better he would take me out on a date. i eventually grew fond of him and one thing led to another. We started sleeping together and he started acting like my husband. He was too controlling and i couldnt take it anymore. I just needed to breath and be myself again. It was a never ending cycle.

never ending because he didnt want to let me go and i couldnt handle hurting him. I saw him every day and sleeping with him and he wanted more and more all the time and i started feeling empty and i didnt have anything else to give. I started living for him and i fell into depression. I finally stepped up and ended it. I hurt him a lot, why do i cry? why do i feel like crap? I never intended this to go far... i never thought we would go this far. I feel guilty, i feel like its my fault i feel his pain right now and i am hurting too. I feel like i owe him for all that he did for me and i somehow feel like i should be with him even though i am not happy with him. I got so dependent of him that i feel great that i am my own person now i can do whatever the heck i want but what? i dont know where to begin. I dont know myself anymore. And i feel if not worse Horrible. Why? shouldnt i feel relieved that im free to love? But he is at his house hurting, its because of me...

it hurts. How did i let this go too far? did i?

Answer 1

A lot of times, we have to do things on our own behalf and other don't seem to understand this. Letting go was what you needed so as not to die emotionally and spiritually. No one likes being let go, but it seems he hurts so much because he invested his whole life in caring and being with you. It was not his responsibility nor was it wise to do so. His despondency is due to his whole life being turned upside down. You were his whole life and that is not fair even for a husband! Stop beating yourself up and blaming yourself. You will feel better in knowing that you had to do and did do for your own sense of who you are and to be yourself again. It was a rough road to travel, but you came through. I would give you high fives and take you out to lunch.

Answer 2

I know it may be hard for you right now... but you need to realize that this is just a "PHASE". Everyone goes through a stage, when things have completley gone down hill. Its your job, to stand up, and get over it. You can't mope around all day feeling depressed, because thats not helping the situation. If you want something done... get up, and do it yourself. The worst thing you can do is let time pass you by. Let the past be the past... and live towards the future. I'm sure you have so much potential; USE IT!
Good Luck to ya

Answer 3

Get out into the sun! Look at the bright side of things, you have people around you who care about you. You need to care for and love yourself before you can find true love. The controlling friend that you slept with got that way because you felt like you owed him something for all he did for you after your back surgery. You gave him the power to control you. We teach people how to treat us. Stop settling for a guy just to have one around, respect yourself, make others respect you! Become happy with yourself and then you'll find happiness no matter who you're with. Good Luck! =)

Answer 4

See a psychiatrist. Depression is serious and treatable.