My son is already concerned about his penis size. Will this cause problems in the future for him?

Question

I'm worried that my son is feeling insecure, self-concious and depressed because he is not well endowed. My son is 9 and he has repeatedly brought up issues concerning his penis. Maybe because other boys have teased him. But at his age I feel it should be of no concern, but if he's already having issues with it now I'm worried he will have deep psychological issues when he gets older. I'm worried he will have trouble talking to women, etc. I have not seen his penis since he was a toddler so I don't know what the situation with it is now, but the last time I saw it it was quite small. I never thought anything of it because I'm his mom and not his girlfriend, but him bringing the issue up recently made me start to think. I am a single mother so I can't ask his father to talk to him about this. What should I do? Should I just ignore him and tell him he's fine? Should I consult a therapist? Should I take him to a pediatrician to have it checked? I can't imagine asking him to show it to me

Answer 1

Although I can respect the first answers's opinion, I certainly do NOT agree with it. I don't think that right now is the right time to be speaking with a 9 year old about "techniques" in the bedroom. I believe that's innappropriate.

Try telling him that at his age, it's not something that he needs to be worrying about. Sometimes, in some guys, it takes until puberty for the penis to "grow into itself".

"Average stretched penile length at birth is about 4 cm (1.6 in), and 90% of newborn boys will be between 2.4 and 5.5 cm (0.9 and 2.2 in). Limited growth of the penis occurs between birth and 5 years of age, but very little occurs between 5 years and the onset of puberty. The average size at the beginning of puberty is 6 cm (2.4 in) with adult size reached about 5 years later. W.A. Schonfeld published a penis growth curve in 1943."

Tell him that right now, it's not something to be nervous about. PLEASE don't suggest plastic surgery unless your son actually suffers from what's considered in medical context as "micropenis", there could be several reasons. Pituitary growth hormone and/or gonadotropins, mild degrees of androgen insensitivity, a variety of genetic syndromes, and variations in certain Homeobox genes. Some types of micropenis can be improved with growth hormone or testosterone treatment in early childhood.

If your son is not comfortable talking to you about it, and if you're not comfortable talking to HIM about it, then go see a doctor.

I would take him to a *male* doctor--a pediatrician (they are versed in all sorts of medical care, not just sore throats and tummy aches). Discuss with the doctor--not in front of your son--what your son's concerns are. Then have the doctor have a sit down with him. If the doctor isn't able to ease your son's fears and anxiety, he may suggest a therapist.

Answer 2

Time for some open and frank discussion ! Shock tactics.

First, let him know that when it comes to the bedroom, its TECHNIQUE that wins the girls.

Then, tell him that his body will go through some changes at puberty, where he may "come into his own"

Finally, let him know that IF, after puberty, AND a sexual experience (preferably with a girl) he still has issues, you will help him find a plastic surgeon. But not before !
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I still think my answer is good, so I won't delete it.
But the second answer IS comprehensive...

We both agree you should reassure with a talk about the changes to a body in puberty.