my boyfriend and i have been dating for 4 months. he dosnt belive in God and belives in some ridiculous philosiphy. i invited him to church for the first time and he said no...i went home and cried but he had no idea that it even bothered me the slighteset bit. now a really close friend of mine died and i want him with me at the funeral but its in a church should i ask him to come? what do i say? i really want him with me i cant go alone, if hes not their i cant go its way to hard. what if he says no??? should i be dating someone who isnt a christian??? i need advise please help me!
2007-02-21 05:09:40 · 32 answers · asked by nochickrun 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If it is that important to you, the relationship won't work. Find someone who is as religious as you are.
2007-02-21 05:12:14 · answer #1 · answered by notyou311 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First let me say that I am sorry for you loss. I lost aa very close friend of mine when I was young and I know it is a hard road to travel down. The "rediculous philosiphy" that he believes in is just as ridiculous or not ridiculous as the philosophy that you believe in. Everyone is en tiled to their own beliefs weather they are different from yours or not. Don't be so selfish. Isn't that what you religion teaches anyway? If you love him respect him for his beliefs as he should respect yours. He has just as much right not to want to go to church as you have the right to go. Chances are if you ask him to the funeral he will go. Funerals are different than church. Tell him that you need his support and he doesn't have to share your beliefs to go. If he cares about you he will be there for you. You can date who ever you want no matter what they believe as long as it is OK to you. If you think it's "ridiculous" chances are it wont last. Even though you believe that your religion is the "one true religion" doesn't mean the other 75% of the world that isn't christian has to believe it too. Stop trying to save him because us non Christians feel that we have been saved already.
2007-02-21 05:19:21 · answer #2 · answered by emce 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As far as the funeral is concerned, hopefully your boyfriend will be there to support you. If not, find a friend to go with.
As for the difference in beliefs, saying that the philosophy he believes in is ridiculous isn't fair. Does he say that believing in God is ridiculous? You should both respect each other's beliefs, even if you don't agree with them. But when it comes down to it, you have to stick to what you believe in your heart is right. If it's that important to you that you date a Christian, maybe it's time to end things with your boyfriend and try meeting someone from church.
2007-02-21 05:24:31 · answer #3 · answered by OhKatie! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry about your loss! I know how you feel! Most 12-16 year olds, or even a little older, aren't looking for love when they date someone! If you plan on marrying someone who goes to church and is a strong Christian, then why is this guy sticking around? I believe you should ask the guy to come to your friends Funeral and if he says no, then you should think about why you are keeping him around, especially if he won't even come to a funeral and keep you company! Good luck and God bless you and your friend!
2007-02-21 05:13:12 · answer #4 · answered by loving live:) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, feel free to ask him to attend the funeral. Many of them are indeed at a Church, it's not the same.
Secondly, you need to break up with him. The more a couple have in common, the easier their relationship is. I'm not saying you shouldn't date out of your race, economic background, interests, age range, or even religion, but the more different you and your boyfriend are, the more difficulties that will arrive.
For me, personally, religion is the number one issue and I will not compromise on it. I married a Christian woman and have been very pleased with it. We have/are raising all our children in Church.
.
2007-02-21 05:39:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that you really like this guy but the problem is that he won't set foot in a church because he does not believe in God and that his way of thinking must be right, Sorry to hear of you friend passing and since he has said no to going to chruch with then you can forget him going to the funeral since it is in a chruch, it seems already he is not ready or willing to compromise and that could hurt your relationship in the future if it goes that far. Maybe you should consider asking someone else you know if they will go with you to the funeral service that way you will not be by yourself even though the death of someone is hard to face. consider dating someone who loves to go to chruch and would not mind going with you when you do go. It does not seem like this will work out between you and him so maybe you better consider letting it go before things get to difficult. You may not want to but if want to be happy then you need to do what you have to do.
2007-02-21 05:21:36 · answer #6 · answered by gordonflames242003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should ask him to go to the funeral with you. If he really cares for you, he will be there to support you, no matter where it is.
As for the whole going to church thing, you can't expect to force it on him. But tell him that it is important to you. If you absolutely cannot deal being with a man that doesn't share all your beliefs, then you probably need to rethink the relationship. It can work with two people with different beliefs and religions, as long as both parties are accepting of the other's beliefs, and don't try to push anything on them.
2007-02-21 05:16:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the first place the bible states that intimate relationships with non believers are strongly discouraged as they will wear you down spiritually. If your love for your boyfriend is stronger than God than you are really threading on dangerous ground.
Tell him that his presence in the funeral is like a form of respect to your close friend.What you can do is pray for him daily and leave the rest to God concerning your relationship with him,if it is God's will that he should be save in time to come than it will be a good thing and you can be together but it doesnt guarantee a lasting relationship though. Always watch yourself spiritually not to buy into his "philosophies"
Never compromise your relationship with God if things do not turn out the way you want it to be.If you know what i mean.
Romans8:28
Joseph L
TheClay82@yahoo.com.sg
2007-02-21 05:22:08 · answer #8 · answered by Amos L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd tell him how important it is that he goes with you to the funeral. If he refuses, I'd be done with him right then and there.
Then after the funeral I'd get into the issue of how much it bothers you that he won't attend church with you.
I honsestly don't think you're going to have a long relationship with this guy AND keep going to church. But, that is up to you.
And my personal opinion; no, I don't think you should be dating men that aren't christian.
2007-02-21 05:18:37 · answer #9 · answered by penhead72 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no matter what he belives he should be there for u in this hard time. a death is hard to get over u need his support. he has the choice 2 go to church or not on sunday people belive different things but a funeral is important and he should be there for you.
2007-02-21 05:14:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your beliefs and church is important to you.
You did the right thing by asking him to go with you, but
his beliefs are not the same and you can't force it upon him. This is a very serious issue and maybe it's not the right relationship for you. You can ask him to go to the funeral wih you as support but honestly if he refuses, you
may need to reconsider if the relationship is worth your
effort. Goood Luck
2007-02-21 05:16:56 · answer #11 · answered by frustrated 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋