I been asking my boyfriend , when I could meet his paernt's , and my boyfriend said I will, we talk about it, he told me he's afriad I would judge him , cause of his parent's , and I wont love him and dont want to see him anymore, but I already told him that I would always love him no matter what , if he wont ever cheat on me, and he said he would never do that to me. But I really want to meet all his family , he says it's not me , it's them, we have been going out for 2 years , and we plan to get married in three years, what should I do.??? PLEASE NO RUDE COMMENT'S
2007-02-21 04:41:22 · 13 answers · asked by kitty 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
All his family knows about us, but I really want to meet them.
2007-02-21 04:42:06 · update #1
How can I get him to understand , that I wont judge him on his family.
2007-02-21 04:42:45 · update #2
He told me he hates his mother, cause of the stuff she did to him in the past.
2007-02-21 04:49:21 · update #3
Be patient. Maybe he is nervous about something to which he believes you will object? If another six months go by and it hasn't been resolved, then put your cards on the table. The family really does make a person most of the time.
2007-02-21 04:45:30 · answer #1 · answered by Lisa A 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that since you are planning on getting married that you really should meet his parents and spend time with his family. It's very important to have that foundation for a good relationship with his family. When you marry him, you are also marrying his family. My brother is the same way as your boyfriend and because of it, my parents don't really care too much for his wife, and she gives us all a vibe that she doesn't like us.
Not that I'm giving an altimatum, but if your boyfriend truly loves you, then he should really have you meet his parents. I can't stress enough that it is very important in a healthly marriage that both you and your boyfriend have good relationships with each other's parents. Some people don't like their in laws, but they can be civil towards each other, but if you never meet them, how can they be civil? What is your boyfriend going to when the wedding comes around? What about when guys start having kids? Is he going to completely cut his family out of the picture? You need to have a very serious heart to heart talk with him and tell him your feelings.
2007-02-21 04:49:42 · answer #2 · answered by D-pig 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmmm um by this time i would think something is wrong, he should know that you love him enough to accept his family, do you think he might be hiding the fact that theres is someone who already knows the family Or is his family into illegal stuff. Tell him it's time, see if you can meet them yourself, by accident but not really by accident. understand what i mean.
I really hope for my own belief in guys, that he is telling you the truth and that eventually all goes well for you. If they really know about you there is no reason why they should not have met you already. By two yrs i think the only reason to keep seperation is by living very far away from each other.
Especially when marriage is spoken of, you should have been already been introduced to parents. hope everything goes well.
2007-02-21 04:56:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does his family not live nearby?
Maybe he really truly is afraid that you would judge him based on his parents. Maybe they are totally different than you two are and you will think he's putting on an act to fit in instead of being himself. Maybe he is simply ashamed of them.
BUT The other possibility is a bit hurtful (for you). He could be married or separated but not divorced or involved with someone else and doesn't want his parents to know about you.
Good luck!
2007-02-21 04:46:54 · answer #4 · answered by startwinkle05 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not trying to be mean, but the reason maybe is that he could have another girlfriend and you are just someone on the side (unknowing). A guy would only bring one girl around the family at one time, especially if the family like that one girl! Come on 2 yrs and haven't met family, that doesn't sound right. You need to talk to him really about the furture. Make sure he's not telling you what he thinks you want to hear!
2007-02-21 04:46:40 · answer #5 · answered by teriwilburn 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry, but unless he's told you exactly what the problem is with them, then he's hiding something. And a good indicator of how he'll measure up as a husband is how he treats his mother. Perhaps he'll decide down the road that he's ashamed of you as well. Sounds like he's hiding something to me, and I would refuse to go one more inch until he either tells you what the problem is or takes you to meet them. If you're to be married, he shouldn't have any major secrets.
2007-02-21 04:45:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand i would want to meet the parents to but give him alittle more time to deal with his thoughts on it...its obviously a very sensitive issue for him and he feels you might see him in a different light because of his family...you should be considerate of his feelings for now but you shoulndt have to wait till the wedding to meet them
2007-02-21 04:46:45 · answer #7 · answered by camden 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds wierd that you haven't met his parents after 2 years. It sounds like he doesn't trust you not to judge for some reason. You can either give him an ultimatum, or keep going as you are.
2007-02-21 04:54:01 · answer #8 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems like he's really hiding something that he don't want you to find out. I would be suspicious of another female in the picture. How do you know that they know about you....have to talk to them on the phone? Do not marry him without knowing his family. This is serious!
2007-02-21 04:44:46 · answer #9 · answered by Mo 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Until he is ready, or you show up at their house, you won't convince him anytime soon. He is afraid of what his family will do. My suggestion is find out where they live and stop by.
2007-02-21 04:44:30 · answer #10 · answered by Chris R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋