work is making me angry, it seem like people here get more stupid my the second!!?

Question

i need to hear a joke to bring me out of this rage!!!! HELP!!

Answer 1

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North
America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.

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TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have
today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped
down his father's cherry tree, but also
admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his
father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.

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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers
before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog"
is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you
copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps
on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.

Answer 2

i pity stupid people.
I bet when they get home, they go back to their "studies"
and by studies, i mean practicing how to tie thier shoe laces.
Can you imagine? Right now, they're furrowering their brows, their little toungue sticking out and scratching their heads in utter confusion while they mutter "is it OVER the rabbit ears?"
I bet they have to wear a helmet. Thats awesome. Some people I know, if they get any stupider than they already are, theyre going to have to take the short bus to work, I'm serious. The sherrif just served them papers an hour ago. I dont let stupid people bother me, my thoery is that their mothers drank while they were pregnant. I'm pretty sure Old Grand Dad Whisky causes mild, undiagnosed downs syndrome, I think I read it somewhere on Wikipedia..... I'm not like Hitler or anything and I'm glad I'm not b/c that guy was a total d ick......and im 1/2 Jewish. But If i was, and im not saying im not, I'd put all stupid people in a little camp.
I'm sure thats not PC but thats the way I roll.

Answer 3

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this, a joke?"

Answer 4

a black guy walks into a bar with a giant parrot

the bartender walk over and start looking at eh two

amazed, he says where did you get that thing!

the parrot says Brrrrrrkkk! Africa!