would you tell the parents of someone you love that they have a drink and drug problem,Person aged 34?

Answer 1

No - the addiction is just their problem and not your or anyone Else's.

Don't allow their addiction to affect your life negatively, but don't 'punish' them for having an addiction.

Telling the parents would have no benefit at all, it would not help them overcome the addiction, so I wouldn't do it.

If you need help and support, contact Al Anon http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/ or Nar Anon http://nar-anon.org/index.html

Answer 2

I lived with an alcoholic partner and it was no fun. There is no point in telling anyone of the persons problem especially parents as the only person who can change their ways is the person with the problem.
You'll find you either become the scapegoat and cited as the reason for the persons problems, cause your relationship with that person to end or be very strained or become the sounding board/shoulder to cry on for the parents which will give you no end of stress.
Advise the person you feel they need help for their problems and that without doing that you cant see them anymore. Sounds cruel but it is a nightmare life to live and no amount of interventions or caring words help it ultimately comes down to the person with the problem accepting rsponsibility for their own actions.

Answer 3

Yes I think I would because if the person was close to his parents maybe they would be the ones to empower him to action to seek help. Also if by covering up for this person in front of the parents it puts you in bad light. Certainly some facts need to be taken in to consideration as are they the type that go to pieces and just add further burden to your worry? If they are really edlerly parents and don't quite understand how there could be a problem if perhaps when they see the person all is fine? May be hitting your head off a brick wall. Hope you come to right decision.

Answer 4

I have had 3 relationships in the past 10 years (one was a marrage) and all 3 woman had alcoholism problems. The last relationship ended violently when she attached me in a cab with witnesses- I called the police and had her arrested- the police charged her- I was living in her house and had to move out- this has dispupted my life badly as I lived there with my son- had my office there etc.. all ended cause she drank way too much and got violent. The relationship before was abit different- she knew she had a problem and went to AA meetings- I went with her and tried to help her but the relationship ended similar to the last one- she threw a violent fit and attacked me- that one was living in my house. The first one was my wife and after our son was born she felt that she had to catch up on all the party times that she missed when she was pregnant and that caused alot of problems and eventually ended our marriage.
Its a hard decsion to make whether or not to approach parents of a person that has a problem- most of the time it would not help at all. the person needs to want to fix the situation- first they have to admit that they have a problem- if they dont do that they are just fighting it and it will leed to alot of other problems and resentment. I have been hurt 3 times badly and all 3 times have loved the person I was with. Best to try and find a way out of the relationship if the person will not try and seek help or councelling. I wish you all the best of luck

Answer 5

Yes, only if you have tried talking first with "the person you love" about the problem first. What was their reaction? Did they attempt to resolve any of the drinking and druggin? Let this person know you love them very much but cannot help them if they are not willing to help themselves. Tell them that you are going to discuss the problem with the parents because if they should over dose or kill themselves or an innocent person because of their drinking problem that you couldn't live with YOURSELF. Why should you have to be the victim based on her selflessness? She needs help and you are passing the torch on to a family member she might listen to. Doesn't sound like she wants to listen to you. You tried, move on.

Answer 6

You know, their parents are probably aware of their situation! I had a similar situation, where I was concerned about an ex, smoking dope every day. I told his father but as far as I am aware, nothing was said. Perhaps as he was an adult, the parent didn't know how to approach him or didn't feel they could. I would imagine it all depends on weather they pay any attention to what a parent might say. They may just say it's none of their business. If this person is needing help, I hope their parents may be able to have an effect on them. Good luck.

Answer 7

Tricky. But I'd say no. You'll always be the 'bad guy' even though you've meant well. Nobody will thank you and it could even cause a rift. Bide your time, it'll take its natural course to be found out, and it will be, trust me. Maybe put your energies into helping the one with the problems,but not in this way. You obviously care very much for that person so treasure it, nurture it and enjoy it. These are things which I fear you wont be able to do if you speak out. I wish you well.

Answer 8

Who has the problem here ??, the person you love or the parents ? ...

Whoever it is expect a hostile reaction, the persons told would most
likely be very deffensive and protective towards the one / s with a problem.

Does the person / s admit / own responsibility for their behaviours ?? if
not then your probably wasting your time anyway. Until they admit it and want to do something about it, it will not matter in the immediate sense as the problem will be denied ...

Good luck ..

.

Answer 9

IF they do NOT already know .. then YES, tell them .. by all means .. this is called INTERVENTION ..

By the way .. you also need to back away from this individual, because if you continue to be there, you are ENABLING the person to continue with their drug/alcohol addiction problems. UNTIL the individual in question hits the complete "Rock Bottom" and not have anyone that they can take from to allow them to AVOID taking responsibility for their addictions .. then they will NOT quit!

Answer 10

No, at 34 that person is an adult and responsible for themselves and their own life. To tell the parents would only make them distressed and upset, and it's doubtful that they could do anything about it anyway.

No, I wouldn't tell them.