Funny joke?

Question

I need a funny joke to pass onto my comedian of a friend.

shes only 9 so i need pretty simple jokes

Answer 1

One day a father calls his son into the room and says, "Son, if you drink too much, you'll go blind." Then his son replies, "Dad. I'm over here"

Answer 2

One day two friends went coon hunting. The first friend took his coon dog and bragged what a great dog it was. The dog ran to the nearest tree and barked three times. The second friend asked, what does that mean? The first friend bragged, "that means there are three coons up that tree." Sure enough when the two friends fired up the tree three coons come running down. WOW, what a great dog, can I borrow him tomorrow to go hunting? The second friend ask the first. On agreeing, the friend left with the dog and planned his hunting trip. The next day, the man took the dog hunting. Shortly after getting to the woods, the dog started barking widely at a tree. He then ran back to the man and started humping his leg. The man kicked him off and the dog got some sticks and started shaking them wildly. The man thought, Oh my God, the dog is mad, so he shot him. That evening he returned to the friends house and told him that he had to kill his dog because it went mad. The friend wanted to know what the dog had done to make him think it was mad. When he described what the dog had done, the friend said, "He wasn't mad," "I told you he was the smartest dog in the world," He was just telling you there were more f---king coons up that tree than you could shake a stick at."

Answer 3

An American tourist visited a small town in Spain.

The residents had never seen an American before, so he was treated as an honored guest at the hotel.

Dinning for the first night, he asked the waiter what he recommended for dinner.

He suggested the "cojones".

The tourist asked what they were and the waiter replied, "Those are the testicles of the bull killed in the ring today."

He was shocked but agreed to try them after being assured it was a delicacy reserved only for special guests.

The tourist found them to be very tasty.

The next night he again ordered them for dinner.

The waiter complied but somewhat reluctantly.

The tourist again found them to be very tasty but asked the waiter why they were so much smaller than before.

The waiter said, "You see, Senor, sometimes it is the bull that wins!"

Answer 4

check out this site 4 dumb blonde jokes.

Answer 5

One day a sad nun came into a confessional and told the father that she had sinned.
The father asks how she had sinned and she replies I called a man a biitch!
"What did you do that for?" the father asked
"He touched my hand." she replied
"You mean like this?"
"Yes father exactly like that"
"well that is no reason to call him a Biitch."
"But father, then he carresed my breasts"
"You mean like this"
"Yes, Father"
"Well that is no reason to call him a Biitch"
"But father then he took all of my clothes off"
"You mean like this?"
"Yes, Father"
"well that is no reason to call him a biitch."
"But then he stuck his you know what in my you know where."
"You mean like THIIIIIIIISSSSSS!"
"Yes father."
"Well that is no reason to call him a biitch."
" But Father, he had AIDS."
"Damn, that son of a biitch!"

Answer 6

a man looked at the mirror and saw him self so he said where have i seen you befour.