have been seeing this guy for nearly 3 months now..a casual thing well valentines day i got quite a romantic card from him..and we spoke about what it meant he said he really liked me..loved being with me and missed me when he did,nt see me..well last night i asked him how he saw things between us future wise and he said he could,nt get close to me so basically all what was said last week has about turned and gone back to casual again...
well i got upset and asked him to leave which he did do..
what do i do now..walk away from this as i can,t do casual with him it hurts too much
2007-02-21 03:52:13 · 33 answers · asked by hawthorn330 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would say yes, walk away. If he really loves you he will come back. You know that old saying If you love something set it free if it comes back it's yours forever, if it doesn't come back
it was never yours. If he comes back you will know
2007-02-21 04:01:32 · answer #1 · answered by janet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gosh he's hot and cold isn't he. however, you did ask him a rather scary question about how he saw the future between you. There's a lot of men who live in thepresent and are really wary about future commitment, so tryng to pin this guy down didn't send out the right signals, did it? And now he's playing cool. He's probably worried that you are already planning the wedding, the babies, the next thirty years of his life and he is just living for the moment and having a grat time with you NOW.
Play the long game here. If you like him a lot, you will have to play casual - say something like "oh gosh, I wanted to see your face the other night when I asked you that question, what a laugh" and try to laugh it off. He may well breath a sigh of relief that you are not some commitment-hungry bunny-boiler.
Or, if this really is too difficult and you are looking for commitment now, perhaps this guy isn't ready to commit and you may have to look elsewhere.
Good luck.
2007-02-21 04:00:15 · answer #2 · answered by gorgeousfluffpot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know you put more into the friendship then what was really there and just because he gave you a Valentine card doesn't always mean the guy in LOVE with you. Why can't you see the signs they are there you said it was casual thing. We girls get all caught up in romance that we don't really look at the situation clearly, then when the guy said we're friends we get work up and it not his fault it's ours. So be more aware next time, of what the guy is send out (message) because you need to let him know that you want a serious relationship next time, its hard for guys and girls to be just friends.
So keep yourself busy and try not to think of him too much and for god sake don't call him.
2007-02-21 04:03:44 · answer #3 · answered by honeybunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to be hissed at and hated by everyone here cos I think you should call him. Depending on whether he meant he cant get close to you cos've him or whether he cant cos you wont let him. Does that make sense? There are two angles to his remark so it could actually be in your favour. You need to know so that you can let him in - if thats what you want. If you're sure it was not in your favour, play along with it, be just friends cos its a way of you being able to flirt like crazy with him, and have fun with him, be the person he missed again. You'll soon be so under his skin he wont let you go!
2007-02-21 05:11:27 · answer #4 · answered by Baby Girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont mean to sound cocky but i know what works with men. Ive been in your exact position before and I think you should Just go with it. Women tend to over analyze when most men just live for the moment. DO NOT let him know that you are feeling this way, as hard as it may be, show him you wouldn't mind just being casual, even if it's contrary to your true feelings. as sad as it sounds, the stage you your at right now with him is just games. If you want that to change, your going to have to play along at first. If you pretend to be a little less interested, he will go nuts...it works every time and just REMEMBER everything happens for a reason..so relax and let things happen and if things dont work out, i promise god has someone else in mind for you.
2007-02-21 04:05:47 · answer #5 · answered by just me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he's scared of getting hurt. Unfortunately, nothing you say will probably change that in him and to be honest, you're better off with someone who is willing to try and develop a relationship with you.
This may seen personal, but when he said this to you last week, did sex follow? It's just that, perhaps he said that to get you into bed. That may sound cruel but it's a thought.
At the end of the day, if you want different things you should leave now before it gets harder to do so.
2007-02-21 04:04:52 · answer #6 · answered by lollysarah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give him some time, it may be that he was overwhelmed by the whole valentines things and is now scared that he has said too much to you and is afraid that you don't feel the same way.
So by him doing a u-turn to casual again he is in theory in control (again!)
I wouldn't put any pressure on him or you could lose him for good.
Good Luck.
2007-02-21 03:59:09 · answer #7 · answered by lynn a 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no...don't walk away unless you really want to. honestly give it time, don't pressure a situation that doesn't need it. Just get to know each other better like going to the cinema or chill days, things like that test whether you actually have a good chance of a relationship and 3 months isn't a long time, i'm kind of seeing this guy for like 6 months and its getting there very slowly lol give it a chance.
2007-02-21 04:43:31 · answer #8 · answered by sozbean 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds to me that you have your mind made up already. You said you can't do casual with him because it hurts to much so unless he comes at you with something different that will change the situation from casual to romantic I say keep your distantance and your eyes opened.
2007-02-21 04:00:58 · answer #9 · answered by CoCo Chanel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We've all been in similar situations sweetie and it does bloody hurt..I don't mean to be patronising here but age makes a difference..A teenager can fall in love at the drop of a hat especially if the guy says what you want to hear..No matter what age,we are all wanting to be loved,just make sure it's "real" love and save yourself from even more hurt later..
2007-02-21 04:09:58 · answer #10 · answered by trish b 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he likes to be the Initiator with things. Most men do. In that case, if you really like him, let it go for now. Don't call him or play the victim. Just keep yourself busy with other things. If it is meant to be, it will happen. If not, consider yourself very lucky as he did you a favor early on.
2007-02-21 03:57:55 · answer #11 · answered by Singthing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋